Alter uncovered memories * trigger warning*

My alter uncovered that I was raped from the age of four till seven years old. That was when my mother who I thought I got my DID from. But turns out to be whole immediate family, caused it. I know my dad was a mad drunk and used to beat my whole body *mod edit*. But. Finding out he raped me then later bought my love has changed my outlook towards him. He would rape me in my sleep while I would black out or pretend to sleep. *mod edit* My mother found out and later she hated me so much for his love towards me she nearly killed me. *mod edit* I have no words. But know this is my changed alter saying he's different cause of being re tramatized by my brother cause I brought in a lay
Wyer to have him take care of my dad or our dad. What's others experience of things that come up due to new trauma?

Hi Panther.

I am so sorry you were treated this way.

For me the similar realization caused me to sob for a good few hours. It was like I needed that acceptance of the truth to let the emotions out.

But it still seems to operate like a spiral and I've gotten closer and closer to the whole picture each time I am (forced) to process what it means for me.

Sometimes that is intense rage and other times it is shame and other times it is grief. Just keep fighting through and know you are worthy to be here.

I don't know the rules to post about spiritual beliefs but my life-saving phrase has been "EVEN IF ____ happened, God loves me and will pull me through." That replaces my "WHAT IFs," and reminds me that (you!) And I survived unspeakable horror and we survived then and we can survive now.

I try to remind my parts we have NOTHING to do with those people and I hope for your sake you're able to be in a place where you can choose not to have anything to do with them either if it distresses you. They did these things. If they suffer consequences now as far as not being physically taken care of or whatever as they age....that is THEIR consequence to bear in my opinion.

People shouldn't rape and beat and abuse their children and then be able to expect them to take care of them as they age if you ask me.

Thank you. For your comments. It means a lot. This has been bothering my alter Owen to go through reveling this memory to me. And he wanted to speak out. But was afraid. I needed to talk for him in these instances. But have relief that I don't have to be near any of my family soon. If at all. Owen is more relived to hear your spiratural as well and prays for me to be well in my most times of need. I'll pray for you to get through your trouble as well.

I'm sorry to hear of your experiences. In being Sunflower's partner through her therapy and healing, we have found that the rabbit hole, at least for her, runs deep. It can certainly get very rough, and the road on the path to healing is bumpy. We are going through another rough patch at the moment with some new revelations in ourselves. However, it does get better on the far end. And I encourage you to keep going.

a modly interjection- posting it in thread so newcomers can see it as well:

complicated87 wrote:I don't know the rules to post about spiritual beliefs but my life-saving phrase has been "EVEN IF ____ happened, God loves me and will pull me through."

You're fine. The key sentence in the forum rule paragraph dealing with belief systems is

Posts that excessively promote a belief are not permitted.

and occasionally saying what works for you when it's germane to the topic at hand isn't that- I don't know about the rest of the mod team but this moderator has worded his own tenuous Christianity like that when it was something that's been a direct help to him and applicable to a discussion. We don't expect people to completely shut off the belief that a higher power (or belief in the lack of one) helps them to get by.