A weird question.

When I'm not infront, will my mind create false memories.....I will remember zoning out and then ill recount what i remember happening and it doesn't match up with my family. -Ashe

I've heard of false memories occurring with dissociation sometimes, but it's not the default explanation I'd go to for your recollection of events being different to that of your family. someone who's been dissociating will usually remember things quite differently to someone who hasn't, and I think it's important to note that different doesn't necessarily mean wrong or false here. we all have our own unique perspectives.
if you do feel that there's something significant to this and you want to explore it here you're welcome to, we'd be here to support you. in any case, I'm sure there's a way you can think and talk about things that have happened with a sense of sureness and I wish you all the best in discovering it

How do you know they are not gaslighting you? Record stuff. Find out.

It's entirely possible. My sister is actually the reason I started knowing I was dissociating. She'd tell me stories about our experiences even as recently as a couple of weeks and I'd not remember. She wouldn't lie to me. Shes the only person Ive have talked about me thinking I have DID in my life, and she has been nothing but supportive. I've found out Giggles comes out a lot around her. (a child alter)

It is entirely possible with my mom. She was actually diagnosed with DID but I've not heard anything about it since. Pretty sure she doesn't believe the diagnosis, but I know I can have a conversation with her and she not remember it. And with her ptsd her attacks are very.....different depending on the circumstance. But she doesn't remember a lot of what she says during an outburst. It's hard to know because my mom and I don't talk about mental health stuff much. (I wouldn't be allowed to have it because she was once diagnosed with it. Regardless if she thinks she has it or not)

I only ask because I will sometimes get the idea of a memory but its like I'm not the one controlling the conversation or moving the body. It's especially bad when there is yelling. I know we will get yelled at and have a general idea of the conversation. but I wont remember the facts. Or ill have a conversation with someone and just not remember at all what was said. "like we are getting yelled at because they are mad at our brother" Or I know I did chores but it was like a daydream and I don't actually remember doing them. I know there is amnesia but its like sometimes I "know" things that happened that I don't remember actually doing. Is this just part of dissociating? or are these full on switches that I'm getting basic flashes so we don't accidentally let the people we are living with know because I wouldn't be consciously aware?

This is all so confusing, and I think part of the problem is memory gaps are more and more noticeable now that I'm looking for it.

The memory can be weird when we are more than one people in one body. Sometimes our amnesias are full-on amnesias, sometimes we need to make a conscious effort to access the memories, sometimes it comes as if from a dream.

Keeping a journal helps us piecing stuff together. When we do not know what happened at one point, we can ask the question in the journal and the one/s who know/s can answer it.

Hoping the journal thing can help you! I find it also a nice way to better be aware of gaslighting when/if it happens.

--Zami--

tysm! I'm definitly going to keep a journal.. it's hard to keep track of where it is though. Keep losing track of the darn thing.

the best thing to keep track of where your journal is is probably just keeping it in one place ^^ if you're worried about others moving it around, you could use some ribbon or string to just tether it to your desk or wherever it's living

That was the plan. I'm pretty sure we misplace things all the time. I'm planning on getting a specific routine and a specific place for everything to see if that helps.

Ashe42 wrote:That was the plan. I'm pretty sure we misplace things all the time. I'm planning on getting a specific routine and a specific place for everything to see if that helps.

that helps alot to do this. but also remember that memiors are based of point of view. I call it the applie on the table effect. everyone can see it but only from their veiw point.

remember that we all see and feel differently based on who is in front as well as those around us.

If your sister is willing to work with you why dont you ask here to help you get into the rutine by making it a drutine together.

good luck unitywithin

So IDK if this is like "false memories" but like outside stuff we lived through, when not "out" sometimes become inside things... in diff ways... and partly from time out, too, I guess.

Cuz like at one point, body age 8-12 or so timeframe, we had mostly girls on our street and played with them... and we did cheer games, pompoms skirts and all... and when we girls were out we would, but sometimes even when not out cuz like 2 kids can't tell 12 what to do, right?!

And inside that kinda became like our "clique", a cheer team on a competitive team- for three of us girls inside... and it was far more rare we were out in skirts playing this too, but it was always the "big game" or "the big contest/competition" stuff we played.

So I kinda think some of the like "basic team" stuff we remember, gags, personalities, etc were "false memories" inside kinda projection like from outside... and the "competitions" inside were the times out...

That's kinda the closest I can think of that we relate to this... is that what you mean, or do you mean something totally diff?

{\Pixie/}