New alters *trigger warning*

Hi, everyone. I m the host of this system. Lately i found out that there are 4 other alters, before there was only me and another one. What was it like for you when you first found out about it? for example one of these 4 alters sometimes talks to me but the other 3 not yet. This "new" alter told me that all of them comes out sometimes but i can't feel it at all.

Hi this Ashe (a host) co con with Asheron (alter)

Ashe: I am still questioning and struggling with whether I even have DID or not. I first considered it only two months ago ish. I am not diagnosed, but plan on bringing it up to my therapist as soon as I've moved out of my parents house (in a couple of weeks) Having said that. I have alters in the system that I have never talked to and I know Asheron has told me there are others I am not allowed to talk to. So its not out of the norm to not know everyone. I'm just trying to keep contact with the alters who let me. Asheron kind of acts like a go between. Meaning I go to him with questions. Now I can't always go to him (if I'm stressed or having extreme doubts). Still rusty with all this.

The first alter that I actually had a conversation with was Asheron. I had others that were around me. and I started sensing them gradually. But Dean has been present a lot. I don't always know when he is around but he has helped a lot. I wont always know if Ashley is present...but usually I'll have severe mood swings or unexplained emotions pop up. I'm slowly learning. Chaos likes to "Sneak up" on me so to speak. meaning he will watch from the backlines without me knowing, and come up when he thinks its funny or if i really need help. While Asheron is more like an authority figure in our system. Chaos is more "fun" or easier to converse with regular conversations.
This week I'm feeling more confident in DID and its easier to talk to everyone, whereas just a week ago I was doubting myself and was having a really hard time communicating with people.

Asheron says that if they aren't talking to you they probably aren't ready to. Don't force them, but be accepting and ready when they are. They are their own people. It's kind of like a work place. You are all there, but that doesn't mean Joe from stocking dept is going to want or have the courage to talk to Stacey from customer service. Every system is different but I'm learning as the host we tend to be the most confused and lost.

To keep the work place metaphor going: the host is the front desk.

It's nice to know that Asheron is helping you getting around.

My own personal advice (which can be different from the advice of other people so, grain of salt) is that, if you do not need the DID diagnosis (because you can manage by yourself/ves and do not need outside help regarding DID) well, do not rush it. There are other things you might need first that might be more important regarding your own needs.

But, your needs, you are the one/s who know/s what needs to be adressed first.

--Zami--

Hi, still the host here Simone. On easter one of the other alters i have came out. He's around 9 years old and talked a bit with my mother, he came out i think because the easter eggs might have been a trigger and told her that from what he knows there are 4 alters.
Me the host but he never spoke to me
another female alter wich is 10 yo
a female adult alter that takes care of them (Alexia)
and another adult alter that he knows nothing about but Alexia told him not to go around him because as she said he's bad.
He doesn't know that there is another alter that apparently only I have communication with and this alter can't talk with any other except for me (Giulio)
So basically i can talk with Alexia and Giulio, i don't know why i can't feel the others even when they take control of the body. with Giulio and Alexia i can feel it.
Alexia wouldn't talk to me about this "bad" alter and i don't know why... i asked many times but she won't budge. She says it's better let everything take its course and give time.
To be honest i'm scared about this other "bad" alter that i don't know, because i don't even know what he would be capable of...

(Ashe)Definitely front desk here lol, but Asheron acts like the computer with all the room info in a hotel. Dean is like the guy who fixes problems in the rooms. Chaos would be like a security guard with a good sense of humor. Ashley is a long term resident who requires special care and calls to complain frequently but really isn't mad at the hotel. Giggles is like the kid who wants to help, but doesn't want to be in front of people. And Raven is the daycare person who takes care of Ashley and Giggles.

Yah part of my problem has been I don't always know what my specific needs are. I've spent most of my life with mental whiplash, because I don't really know what I want. But one of the main things is that I like to help people, what better way to do that then to be here to help my other alters.

Simone I asked Asheron what his opinion was because he handles the internal stuff more, and I'm clueless most of the time. I just kind of follow his advice. So I'm going to type what he says.

(Asheron): Simone I understand your worry. Every person is different and every system is different because of this. Ashe has been letting me read on terms and such but lingo is not really my thing. In my opinion bad can mean a lot of different things. It could just be that the alter is grumpy and might snap at the others. I had to discourage Ashe from using the this alter is "Bad" idea, because bad is subjective. We have an alter that is on and off very suicidal because she holds trauma and has been known to snap at our little (Giggles) when she is annoyed, and Ashe used to describe her negatively. Another one of our alters (Chaos) is a really nice loving guy, but he is used to taking our physical pain. He is one of the most protective of our alters now but if he does not feel like we are in pain, he would create pain for us to feel because he did not feel like he was doing a good enough job if he was not in pain. He never did anything dangerous really (scratches or he would do military style exercises that left us aching, but we would still be sore. Ashe does not see him as bad, and Ashe is actually doing a really good job at finding a compromise for him that is safe. One of our alters will bite our knuckle or arm if they get overstimulated. There are are others but I cannot talk about them because Ashe is co con and would read this, and she is not ready for those alters to be a constant worry for her.

I am going to tell you the same thing I told Ashe. Do not force anything. There is definitely a reason they are not bringing them up. Whether it is safety or past trauma or them simply not wanting to be known. Just be aware that they are there, but wait for them to come to you. Our mind is super complex and fragmented for a reason. You do not have to be scared but caution is a good idea. Listen to your alters. They probably have insights that you do not. Even "bad" ones are there for a reason, and need to feel loved and needed. Giggles would tell you that Ashley is bad on a bad day, but actually loves her and gives her hugs on good ones. Ashley would say Chaos is bad because he has yelled at her before but he did it from a place of concern and love himself. Just be cautious.

Patience is a highly underrated virtue.

Ashe (host): patience is a pain lol. Hopefully this helps. I don't know what I'd be doing without Asheron honestly. But I formed that trust with him. In the mean time I'm trying to get to know the alters that I can talk too. Learning what they do and such, what they like and want. etc etc.