Is it "bad" to talk about it openly?

Hi all, Evan here.

So I recently came across some articles on "malingering" in mental health, and me always doubting my experiences, read it. I noticed that one of the things that can show someone is "faking" a disorder is that they openly talk about it.

In the past, in certain situations, I have openly talked about it. When I was in group therapy, I was eager to figure out what was going on, to get better. I was ready to be open and honest with everything, even if I didn't want to be. So, I talked about it, forced myself to be nonchalant. I told them upfront about it because I didn't know how else to do it really.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? Like there are some situations where you really can just talk about it? Just be open and honest? And really, would it be bad if someone were to really open up?

This just greatly concerns me, in a lot of different ways. Thank you guys <3

maybe you could be more picky about the articles you read.
it looks like its not helping you to feel more connected with how you are doing and what you need.
comparing ourselves to random articles hardly ever puts us on a path of successfully managing ourselves.

it is your free choice if you want to share or not. it is highly unscientific to assume that motives can be known simply by observing behavior. one and the same behavior, like sharing, can have a multitude of reasons.
that said, it is not always wise to share with everyone and everywhere. especially when it is about mental health, there is stigma and we make ourselves vulnerable. within a group therapy sharing should be ok. at the bus stop it is probably not. use your own judgement! articles are not truth set in stone, you are allowed to use critical thinking and dismiss stuff. and check if it even concerns you.
and seriously, read some better articles.
L&Asti

birdsong87 wrote:maybe you could be more picky about the articles you read.
it looks like its not helping you to feel more connected with how you are doing and what you need.
comparing ourselves to random articles hardly ever puts us on a path of successfully managing ourselves.

it is your free choice if you want to share or not. it is highly unscientific to assume that motives can be known simply by observing behavior. one and the same behavior, like sharing, can have a multitude of reasons.
that said, it is not always wise to share with everyone and everywhere. especially when it is about mental health, there is stigma and we make ourselves vulnerable. within a group therapy sharing should be ok. at the bus stop it is probably not. use your own judgement! articles are not truth set in stone, you are allowed to use critical thinking and dismiss stuff. and check if it even concerns you.
and seriously, read some better articles.
L&Asti

Y'know you're actually really right. I've seen it and heard this come up so much, maybe I should just stick to my own path instead of following winding trails, if that makes sense. I'm probably just scaring myself, and it won't help anyone in this situation if I do. I'll watch what I read and rely on the professionals around me. Sorry if it was a bit of a silly question, just really curious on others' opinions on this subject. Thank you for this <3

Honestly anything that's like "a sign to show someone is faking!!!!!" is gatekeeping and shouldn't be given any credit. Every person is unique and so is every system. Frankly we as a system would love to share our experiences online openly and freely, both to reduce stigma around the illness and also as someone from medicine to educate people on mental illness. It's not possible given our irl life situations, and to be safe we currently prefer to only share the info with people we trust. However if the topic ever came to mental health, especially stuff we suffer from, we do try our best to explain what's really going on, without giving away we suffer from these illnesses. Again, the main reason for these choices is because we wouldn't be safe otherwise.
For any person I could see myself in a long term relationship with, I have explained outright that we are a system. Honesty there is a priority. I'm very lucky to have my boyfriend now who's incredibly supportive for everything I suffer from but there have been past relationships that we wouldn't have been safe.

For us the main criteria for speaking out about DID and other mental illnesses is just safety. On situations where honesty seems more important we still honestly talk about what it is and how we experience it. As birdsong87 said, trust your judgement on which situations it would be okay to share. And you shouldn't trust any article that makes you feel bad and as if you're faking your illness - Mia

I half talk openly to my bf. I have started to feel more comfortable about it. Like at work today someone inside got really angry because people are so stupid to buy so much toilet roll - hadn't seen it till today because I'd been basically in my own world for a week - and stock literally flew out of my hand and hit the window. It didn't feel like I threw it to me but how I flew I must of. I was annoyed about the toilet roll fights etc but not throw stuff at a window angry. But when it happened I thought "somebody must be really really angry inside" I know it was the toilet roll nonsense because I'd literally just seen it. Obviously in work I just said "that was weird, it was like it just flew out my hand" and I laughed, the other women laughed and one helped me tidy it back up. I told my bf though. It felt ok and kind of good to be able to tell him - in private where nobody could hear. But when I'm in public and he says "but you don't know who will be out" even though logically nobody around me is probably listening or if they did hear wouldn't know what he means I want to die and the ground to swallow me. Any reference to anything about alters I hate.

I tried to openly tell the psychiatrist. But I couldn't. I planned to go in and say "these are my alters names" and loads of other stuff. In the end I didn't say any of that. We just discussed how the medical system works and how I can best get help from it. He asked me the time before I saw him what the conversations in my head were, I managed to say I have conversations, and as much as I wanted to tell him an example in the end I said "it's private" somebody said it's private, I froze.

So I find it very difficult generally. Anybody knowing, the thought of it, makes me feel sick. I'd rather they think I had other disorders. But with my bf I'm just about getting used to saying stuff but most alters still don't like him to know when they're there - they won't say who they are. Some will and some sometimes say if they think a particular alter is about to switch in, very occasionally but mostly they like anonymity. I used to think it was about presenting one person kind of thing, to look normal. Now I think it's a safety thing, they feel safer concealed by not being known who they are. Like the body and the name of the body protects them from the outside world kind of thing.

No. It's not bad to talk openly. Imo we need to encourage people to talk openly about this disorder. If there's a few fakes, like with anything (people fake ######6 cancer and we don't stop people talking about it and it certainly doesn't stop people getting it) then that's life, people, a-holes.

I'd rather deal with a few fakers than stop anyone saying "I have DID" It's too suppressed for too long. And what's worse is that this is caused by abuse so you don't want to admit it yourself anyway and therefore who benefits from people feeling ashamed of this disorder - ######6 peadophiles, that's who.

So no, there's no shame in talking about it, in being loud and proud about it. And to any YouTube fakers out there I salute you, keep up the good work because let's face it most of us with DID (my system included) can't bare the thought of people finding out - shame, it's shame linked of course.

Anyway you tell em,

Patrick

Hi Evan,
We personally think about DID as a medical condition like diabetes. There are some people who are diabetic and consider it as part of who they are, and you will know that they are diabetic because they tend to mention it often. Nothing wrong about that. There are other people who you would simply not know about because they tend to keep it more private for their own reasons, and that's fine too. Doesn't mean that one of them is faking, or has more possibility of faking.

I agree with what the others have said in simply not consider these kind of articles or media as informative. They are not most of the time, and the person alone can tell if they're "faking" or not. If you think you're not faking, it means you're definitely not. If you have some experiences, you have them independently from what others think or say about them. Doubt is one thing and it's always good (in my opinion), but denial is another.

Also to answer your last question, yes, there have been times in which we liked to talk about it. It feels really good to educate people and it also feels good when you're sharing your experiences with another person simply because we're human. We're social animals and need to connect with people and open up about ourselves to receive support. All completely normal. Don't let these kind of bs get to you.