Our new Journey thread (Ponyta)

just want to note we are rapid switching tonight. So W was out, then our host, then TJ, then our host, then W, Followed by TJ, then our host yet again, followed by Zack, then our host, and now me but I feel really weird. Vision blurring, I don't think I'll be out long. Can't focus too good. I honestly think W and TJ are still partly here with me. I'm double d (that's my nickname). on that note, i have no clue how i got in this house. I mean, I haven't been out for so long, I feel as if I'm in a strangers home. I remember, well I can't say the area on here, but our first home with our sandbox. everything was so much different.

Hey- well it looks as if we're having problems tonight. I'm back out again. But like Double D, I'm even having problems gaining focus. It seems

yeah, I think we should end this note here. It's not going so hot. why am i even out in the 1st place? cray cray. anyway, sup guys. i hope things are going better for others on here.

oOo Hang in there, all of you. Rapid switching is awful, but it will pass eventually.

oOo It shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass.

__
van Hohenheim.

ArbreMonde wrote:oOo Hang in there, all of you. Rapid switching is awful, but it will pass eventually.

oOo It shall pass like a kidney stone, but it shall pass.

__
van Hohenheim.

Thanks van Hohenheim!

-- Wed Dec 02, 2020 8:35 pm --

We aren't doing so good yet. Rapid switching on and off all day today. It's been happening on and off for several days now. At least I think it's been several days, our days are all blurring together. It feels as if we never went to sleep for several days as in the days all feel like just one day, but yet can't even remember tons of details. Probably because of the rapid switching. I have no clue why this keeps happening, but it's beyond awful feeling.

Severely dissociating again. Rapid switching is still happening at times. Feel so weird and sick due to that. New ones showing up (supposedly I knew them years ago). Don't know what to do. Having really strange dreams with people talking about me. Other personalities? I have no clue.

Don't feel good. Very foggy. Very dissociative. Can't see inner world that good, but the block seems to be easing a little today. The bad thing is, it lowered a little (the block), and now a whole lot of troublemakers are messing with me.

One keeps texting me on my inner world phone. One of my inner friends ("K") looked at the texts (with my permission). He was like "UGH!" He told me he deleted something (I did make it clear that if it was inappropriate that I didn't want to see it.) K said he would take care of it. Not sure where he went but he was very upset about it. He did tell me that it was very inappropriate (which I told him before he checked the texts that I figured it probably was, due to how that one guy acts). Like I said though, he told me he would handle it. He used to be a troublemaker his self, but is a good friend to me (and a lot of my other inner friends lately). So I trust him.

I just don't know what that the problem is, with the troublemaker texting me now. He's not the only one either. Tyler is also going to cause problems. I know, because he said he was. UGH! There's others too. I know, because I saw them today, and they are acting ridiculous. Oh, and one of the protectors even knows that. He could've cared less that they are bothering me in the way they are. When I asked him why he didn't help me, he said I could handle it myself. He also said that we're not exactly friends, so not his problem. UGH.

I'm not even sure where my inner friends are. The only one I saw today, so far, was "K". Plus not sure where all the protectors are. I feel they are having a meeting or something, since it's unusual I didn't see them yet. Only saw one of them, and like I said, he doesn't like me. I still don't know why. He won't give me a reason why, other than he doesn't like me.

This is a little off topic, but it has to do with how we are right now, and I haven't been able to find an "active" forum to mention this in. We'll probably have to go have this checked out by our doctor (if it gets any worse, or keeps hurting like it is), but one of us was trying to move something outside and slipped on the ice/snow.

Possible trigger warning due to description (knee issue)

He said our knee made a snap sound (he has very good hearing), and he said he felt it pop. He said severe pain shot through it at the time, but then quickly subsided.

End trigger

So we woke up this morning with A LOT of pain. It is even radiating into our hip, and down our leg (so maybe the hip got hurt too? We don't know for certain) It's not helping our dissociation any, in fact I think it made it worse. None of us want to really deal with this pain. Not sure what happened with it exactly, but we've had problems with our knees and that hip in the past. But yeah, that didn't help anything.

Really dissociating. Very hard to concentrate on anything really. We tried taking our mind off the pain by doing a puzzle, but just ended up staring, for who knows how long.

-- Oh my, would it be possible to see a medic soon about the knee thing?

-- I really hope that the pain will subside soon. Hang on there!

__
Zami

Sorry to hear about your knee, Ponyta. I agree with ArbreMonde--can you go see a doctor about it? It would be good to get it checked out and find out exactly what's going on.

Also, it's your journey thread--you can write about anything that's going on in your life and it wouldn't be "off topic."

Thank you to Zami, and TheGangsAllHere! Your concern is greatly appreciated. Our knee seems to be doing much better know. It seems it was just a mild sprain, or something along the lines of that. It's not bothering us now anyway.

We however are still having very bad dissociation. Our host is really bad with that. For some reason she's unable to hear us lately. She can hear a couple, but they really need to holler (be really close, almost in her face too). We are aware of someone blocking her, but none of us have been able to solve that issue yet. He is too angry it seems. Nothing we try to do is doing anything to calm his anger. The bad part is, he won't even tell any of us the real reason why he's so mad. All he says is Emma (our main host) knows. She claims she has no clue. This entire block is causing distress on the entire system. A lot of us want to speak to Emma, but we are unable to get through. She can't see us like she used to. She's very distressed by that. Not only her, but a lot of us are. She was trying to help us. Now everything has been at a standstill, progress wise. In fact, things are getting worse. More conflicts are arising. I can guess why that is. Emma is one of the peacekeepers, and her not being able to help us like she used to, is helping fuel a lot of that.

How can we get rid of this block? We're trying to calm the guy's anger so we can be able to talk to, and help him, but he won't let any of us get close to him. I mean, we respect his space. We're not trying to get him to do anything he doesn't want to do, we're just trying to ask him to lower the block (even just slightly). We don't know what to do.

Things are ridiculous. The block eased a little, but now our host is having problems with yet another troublemaker. None of us know who he is. Our host says he looked like Phil (another troublemaker), but, said she knows it wasn't him. She said someone else was pretending to be him. She knows this, because his behavior was way too different. Well, now when she comes into the inner world, she needs to have two of us watching her at all times. No one knows who he is, not even the protectors. To think the block easing slightly was a good thing. What is going on lately.