Do you recognize these things?

Hello there,

I have a (for me) very important question.
In another thread I already asked something similar, but not quite the same.
So @people who have read the other thread too: sorry for some repetitions.

It would be a huge help, if you could look over the experiences, and tell me, what you think about it.
If there wouldn't be already a diagnosis with DID.. would it sound like DID for you?
Or would you think "that doesn't sound familiar, there is a high chance, that this is something different"? Please be critical.
Some of you guys and girls know so many people here, so this could be quite helpful.
You have the ability to compare it.

-Very often I switch from "I like xy", to "I detest xy", to "I love xy" and so on. It switches completely back and forth. This happens with food, activities, film-taste, whom I like, needs, and also my behavior towards others.
-Very often I feel a sudden crash of irritation, and in these moments I am thinking for hours about "who am I"
-I have daily mini-amnesia, where I completely can't remember talks I had, or things I did. Sometimes I remember, when the other people tell me about it, and sometimes I still think "they all must be wrong, I never was a part of this, I would remember having done/said that".
-sometimes I got the feeling that I am watched by myselve
-sometimes (rarely) I stare into the mirror for minutes, watching myselve, being confused about something
-sometimes I suddenly feel an inner rage, and insult quietly.. but not sure who is meant, and where it comes from
-sometimes I suddenly have new clothes or other products, which I am totally sure of, to not have bought them.
-sometimes my keys or mobile phone are hidden in the fridge and on other "funny" places. One day, all the spoons of my wifes and my appartment were missing suddenly.
-my wife tells me, that I am sleepwalking very often, but it doesn't really seem like sleepwalking to her
-there are clear signs for a child-trauma

I left out all things, that aren't totally fact-based, but interpretation-based.

Looking forward to your thoughts.

Best regards,
Henrik

All those except for mobiles in the fridge - good idea though if you want to keep your phone secure especially if it's an old fridge

Henrik wrote:It would be a huge help, if you could look over the experiences, and tell me, what you think about it.
If there wouldn't be already a diagnosis with DID.. would it sound like DID for you?

Yes, absolutely. I can't think of anything else it could be. (I wouldn't be able to say that to you on here if you didn't already have a diagnosis, since we can't diagnose you--but you're describing blackouts during which other parts are buying things or hiding things, and you're describing a lot of other dissociative experiences, and you have a history of childhood trauma. AND a professional has told you that you have it.

Having doubt and denial, even with an "official" diagnosis, is VERY common, but it's important not to let it interfere with your healing.

If not DID, certainly some form of dissociation (some seems like dissociate depersonalization or derealization - separation from self or surrounding reality (to mean the outside world)), many of the listed traits are quite common to those with dissociative disorders of many sorts- including OSDD and DID.

As "Gang" said, the specifics are not important enough to detract from the healing process. I mean that the doubt or a specific form of dissociation or another- it shouldn't be a point of stress and/or distress to where it prevents you working on healing. I hope that helps.

You are not alone, in any of the above- especially the doubt and confusion. There are many of us just like you in those respects- some constant, others periodic. But it is a struggle we all contend with.

Kitten

You are really amazing, people, thank you for your feedback