Another what if: A machine or tablet that integrates you..

It's the time and mental drain the disorder causes that I would like to loose. I'd like to loose all of it but mostly the brain drain it causes. Like some have said.

The not being who we are today if it wasn't for DID. We did feel that for a little while but then we realised if we weren't abused, didn't have DID, we'd definitely be a much more mentally healthy person so f who we are. Loosing who we are because of abuse and a resultant disorder is no loss at all. Who we could be is far more interesting either way.

If we integrated the abuse and are a complete mess then it's authentic. If we cope then that's authentic too. At the moment because of brain shifts or personality changee or alters - however you'd like to phrase it - we are not our authentic self. That's how we see it.

First flashbacks we had were in psychotherapy over ten years ago. They were body memory and visual about our uncle. We coped in therapy. These ones without having a therapist, not so much so we capped them till we have a therapist so the "trusting your system" idea yes we can see that. It's a good thing.

However how many years has everyone here wasted on drugs and therapy and having horrible memories.

So if there was a tablet or some kind of machine that could align the brainwaves so your integrated and know trauma - we would do it immediately.

Thanks for responses. I know it seems like an odd question but completely "what if" questions allow freer thinking and your responses and reactions helped work through our own thoughts.

Our healing battle has been ours for along time, alone not mentioning what's really wrong. So every step we take in it all things are considered and airing them really helps especially to you guys who actually know the struggles associated with this disorder and our thoughts become clearer on it.

Thanks,

B&F

MakersDozn wrote:Hi Batcho and Fortune,

Our answer here is the same as in the other What If thread. We have no desire to fuse.

MDs

I totally agree. I am not sure for ALL of us, but most of us that have talked about have NO DESIRE to be "erased" or "merged" in a fusion like thingy. If it happens cuz it just happens, we'll deal... but like we don't see a need and have NO desire to try and make it happen.

{\Pixie/}

I would take the chance to integrate everyone and everything - I always visualize it as having a really big heart that fits everyone like a nice hug. It embraces all qualities, quirks, lovely little facts about our parts. Yeah, it takes a while for the scale to recalibrate and to find a new balance in which the whole person would function, but nothing would be lost or erased. If anything, dissociation makes you lose and erase.

The machine would, however, need to increase your capacity, your space to hold all of this at the same time. You'd need really really good emotion regulation skills, a safe environment and a nervous system which really (rightfully) trusts that things are safe now.
If not, everything would just fall apart again within a very short time.

fireheart wrote:I would take the chance to integrate everyone and everything - I always visualize it as having a really big heart that fits everyone like a nice hug. It embraces all qualities, quirks, lovely little facts about our parts. Yeah, it takes a while for the scale to recalibrate and to find a new balance in which the whole person would function, but nothing would be lost or erased. If anything, dissociation makes you lose and erase.

The machine would, however, need to increase your capacity, your space to hold all of this at the same time. You'd need really really good emotion regulation skills, a safe environment and a nervous system which really (rightfully) trusts that things are safe now.
If not, everything would just fall apart again within a very short time.

I really like the way you put this fireheart. It's a very comforting image for us.

I think it'd be better. Like fireheart said I imagine it being somehow a combination of everyone. I imagine being stringer and consistent. Of knowing my life and living it every day rather than living it in bits and pieces.

Sarandipity wrote:I think it'd be better. Like fireheart said I imagine it being somehow a combination of everyone. I imagine being stringer and consistent. Of knowing my life and living it every day rather than living it in bits and pieces.

We'd rather be integrated enough to be like aware of each other and what we do when we're out- what others say, do, and experience, and BE OURSELVES... not like "fuse" into someone entirely diff and lose ourselves in the process. But that's just our opinion... and like I said, if a "fusion" happens just cuz it does and it's not like a "goal" or "project" to like achieve, that's a diff matter entirely. But I don't want ANY outside force, be it our T, Zor's wife, or some magical machine, to MAKE it happen. If it's natural and organic, just a "next step" thingy that happens from getting more integrated and working more closely together, that's gonna be a totally diff kinda dealie.

{\Pixie/}

My thinking behind this is that the alters of DID people must have certain brain activity, different brain activity. That if they could map a person's characteristics (in a single person first) by their brain activity then that would give character traits the are exhibited in that brain pattern. These could be mapped for all alters and then possibilities of how those alters would fuse be generated by a computer with how that person would present.

Then I go really sci-fi as to say there could then be a machine that effects brain patterns. So for example in a single minded schitzophrenic or depressed person it could eliminate the depression or Schitzophrenia so the depression map is removed but still allows for normal emotional scope but doesn't effect personality. In a schitzophrenic it could remove paranoid mapping and outside hallucinations allowing the person to live unhindered. In a DID person it the possibilities of fusion could be seen and the patient given the possible out comes.

On a basic level I'd take away the twins delusions but leave their imagination and creativity. I'd map out depression. I'd make sure normal emotions are mapped in.