Alter decision ** Trigger Warning **

This is Owen. I've grown to 21. And, I want to kill my host by killing myself of the way we can. And other alters can understand. My host is in a bad situation and I don't want to do this but don't want her homeless. I don't want sympathy. I want answers. We can't afford to live in a RV or section 8. And continue therapy. We wouldn't have meds which we need. My host fought with her brother to trigger me into her loosing a year to me taking over. But we had no access to pills. And I can't do anything.

I am Owen the alter of my host. Things have gone to hell. Our father has severe dimentia and I want to end this. I want to kill myself the way alters do. And, I want to tell her brother off for forgetting about us and just her dad. We can barely afford bills on disability. And, I smoke. I care to say I want to end this misery.

Owen if you can hear me don't do it.

It's not worth it.

You are stronger than this, colectivly and individually.

If you can't cope any more that's ok.

I used to look after dementia folk, its hard, its bone hard.

Its ok to struggle.

If you need to hibernate. go to sleep and wait until this part is over.

But dont take the body with you.

You were created as a system from some of the most horrendous things that can be inflicted on a child.

You survived that hell.

There will be a part of you that can survive this too.

Perhaps this is not your burden to bair.

It is ok to hand the reins over to someone else.

You haven't failed.

Asking for help is one of the strongest things you can do.

Dont kill yourself. Dont kill the body.

Sleep let another alter rise to the challenge and when this is over you can wake up and smile and be glad that you gave yourselves another chance to fight, to win, to survive.

Because you are a survivor Owen.

You have survived things that would turn lesser men psychotic.

You will survive this.

Mo

Thank you I'll win over this

Hi Owen, we're rooting for you. Do you have anyone you can reach out to locally, a friend or a halfway decent relative?

Unfortunately all we or I have is therapy. Which all is done is talking. My host knows me very well. And, I've disclosed everything about me. Including where I am located in her mind. I want the best for her but our lawyer or her dad's is doing his best for having her brother provide for mostly our father while he's being taken care of by my host. We've skipped so many therapy sessions. And don't want county due to to many hospital visits to help my host. Im working with the lawyer to hopefully set things right. Wish us luck