Bizarre Dream - symbolic, not sure how to interpret it?

There's nothing violent in the dream it's just very disconnected and odd!

so I woke up this morning with the remnants of a very bizarre dream I think it was symbolic as its the first time I've ever had a dream with 'Maddie's friend' in it in my life!

so from what I can remember one minute I was in my current house. Maddie's friend was visiting so I was in the wheelchair, someone else walked in who she (the friend) had invited and the next thing I had left the house and was rolling down the lane but it wasn't the road outside this house it was a road from the village I used to live in (as if I'd just left the house of my childhood friend).

I got half way down this road when I realised Maddie's friend had been chasing me down the road and was now standing on my right side. She walked across the front of me and continued to try and connect herself to me with some wires - which were the (now old fashioned) thin wires, the type you put in the bottom of an hearing aid to connect to a loop or walkman but she was trying to plug them into my side!

I kept trying to rip them back out from her side, she offered me a bag with a few slices of sliced white bread in (like the end of a loaf) I was trying to leave but realised the back wheel on my chair was suddenly missing, then I get up not only out of the chair but out of Maddie's body (in a spirit form) and ran down the road without looking back to meet my mum. She was waiting for me on the opposite side of the road at the end of the road leading back to our house' (my childhood home).

As I ran to her I was becoming more solid, but changed to looking like my teen self and getting younger so by the time I reached my mum it was a child's hand taking hers as her voice said 'It's time to come home'' then I woke up!

Now I'm hoping it doesn't mean she was 'calling me home' as in she's in heaven and it's my turn to go and thinking maybe she was saying it's time to stop being Maddie or other alters and live as myself? My mum appeared as a solid real person in the dream (like when she was alive) not as a spirit coming to meet me.

I'm starting to worry if it means I'm going to have a sudden heart attack and or maybe I have cancer and don't know it and that's what she's trying to tell me?

The white bread has me baffled???? and the 'hearing aid wires' into our sides!

Hope you don't mind me asking, I've no-one else I can ask as no-one else in my life knows about 'the others'.

Anyone got any ideas how to interpret it as I'm guessing it's possibly more symbolic but I can only 'see' a really obvious literal translation?

Me!

Resus monkeys. Maddie made friends. You cut that and ran back to your mother. Like a resus monkey. That's what it says to me. Paul

It's hard to know what other people's dreams tell, because dreams are symbolic and symbols are different to each person. Maybe try to think what things in the dream represent to you.

Dreams don't know anything your mind doesn't know, because they come from subconscious, which still is your mind, even when it's part of your mind you aren't connected with all the way all the time. Rather than telling a future they tell what you feel or think subconsciously about your future/yourself/life or what ever the dream was about. Dreams don't come outside of one's mind, but they can tell things your "daily task mind" isn't that connected with. How ever they're always how YOU feel about things, not about how things really are.

Sometimes we see lot of signs about things that our mind picks up and remembers and connects new ways n dream, even when those things were forgotten in everyday life and weren't noticed by "daily task minds". That's how you can have gut feelings about things and they turn out to be true time after time. There's nothing weird in it, it's small clues part of your mind pays attention while part of it doesn't. But yet it's still all your mind view of things.

Dreams are personal. From outside it's hard to say what's important in it and what's not. For example you can have a dream you're in a house and the dream clearly is about the house, it's the most important subject in it. Or you can dream you're in a house but the subject is things that happen in there and house is just surroundings, because you need to have some kind of surroundings. If it's just surroundings, it's not important, if it's the subject, it is.

You've been thinking about core you, and you wrote there was a girl before all the ones that are here now.. you could also think it's about that. About "coming back" / going to the beginning of everything, while things like other parts and what's expected from you by other people keep you away from what feels to you is the source of truth.

I can't have any answers, it's all in you and you have all answers as well. I hope it still helped to hear dreams only tell what's going on in YOU, nothing else, nothing less. I hope that helps. I'd think about what does your mom represent to you, what does wheelchair represent, what could that "plugging in" with wires could be. Was it all about disabilities and time before it, or being forced to be with disability to hide your true condition (DID)?

Things you've told about your life matches really well with what's in the dream from my point of view, but my PoV can't access your dreams. Could it be about hope to end the life you live now? I don't mean by ending all life, but just the way it is now, with friends of parts that really don't run life anymore? Or was it scary to you, like getting caught? How going back to your mom felt to you, did she feel safe or scary or what? Or just natural, because it happened in the place where you used to live with her?

Flor

Sarandipity wrote:Resus monkeys. Maddie made friends. You cut that and ran back to your mother. Like a resus monkey. That's what it says to me. Paul

sorry you've lost me with the rhesus monkeys??

rhesus monkeys

Two groups of baby rhesus monkeys were taken from their mothers. One group were given milk from a bottle supended by wire the other group were given milk from a bottle suspended near a cloth monkey. The group of rhesus monkeys that had the cloth monkey would go to her when they were frightedned the group with the wire bottle just sat in a corner petrified.

I think what paul is saying is your brain is trying to tell you that what ever it was that caused you to split. Your mother must have provideded some level of comfort for you to be running back to her.

Not saying she was perfect - she was a cloth monkey - enough was there for you to gain a shred of comfort.

Had she been completely cold you would not have run back to her in your dream. Like the rhesus monkeys with the wire bottle you would have delt with the trauma alone.

There were other cruler experiments with rhesus monkeys...... https://exploringyourmind.com/harlows-e ... nt-theory/

SystemFlo wrote:It's hard to know what other people's dreams tell, because dreams are symbolic and symbols are different to each person. Maybe try to think what things in the dream represent to you.

Dreams don't know anything your mind doesn't know, because they come from subconscious, which still is your mind, even when it's part of your mind you aren't connected with all the way all the time. Rather than telling a future they tell what you feel or think subconsciously about your future/yourself/life or what ever the dream was about. Dreams don't come outside of one's mind, but they can tell things your "daily task mind" isn't that connected with. How ever they're always how YOU feel about things, not about how things really are.

Sometimes we see lot of signs about things that our mind picks up and remembers and connects new ways n dream, even when those things were forgotten in everyday life and weren't noticed by "daily task minds". That's how you can have gut feelings about things and they turn out to be true time after time. There's nothing weird in it, it's small clues part of your mind pays attention while part of it doesn't. But yet it's still all your mind view of things.

Dreams are personal. From outside it's hard to say what's important in it and what's not. For example you can have a dream you're in a house and the dream clearly is about the house, it's the most important subject in it. Or you can dream you're in a house but the subject is things that happen in there and house is just surroundings, because you need to have some kind of surroundings. If it's just surroundings, it's not important, if it's the subject, it is.

You've been thinking about core you, and you wrote there was a girl before all the ones that are here now.. you could also think it's about that. About "coming back" / going to the beginning of everything, while things like other parts and what's expected from you by other people keep you away from what feels to you is the source of truth.

I can't have any answers, it's all in you and you have all answers as well. I hope it still helped to hear dreams only tell what's going on in YOU, nothing else, nothing less. I hope that helps. I'd think about what does your mom represent to you, what does wheelchair represent, what could that "plugging in" with wires could be. Was it all about disabilities and time before it, or being forced to be with disability to hide your true condition (DID)?

Things you've told about your life matches really well with what's in the dream from my point of view, but my PoV can't access your dreams. Could it be about hope to end the life you live now? I don't mean by ending all life, but just the way it is now, with friends of parts that really don't run life anymore? Or was it scary to you, like getting caught? How going back to your mom felt to you, did she feel safe or scary or what? Or just natural, because it happened in the place where you used to live with her?

Flor

Typed a really good reply and hit submit and the board lost it all! ... can't remember what I put now! and the frustration is triggering Kit so I'm going to have to leave it and come back later to reply properly...sorry

Thanks for the information anyway!

Me!

MeMyselfMaureen wrote:rhesus monkeys

Two groups of baby rhesus monkeys were taken from their mothers. One group were given milk from a bottle supended by wire the other group were given milk from a bottle suspended near a cloth monkey. The group of rhesus monkeys that had the cloth monkey would go to her when they were frightedned the group with the wire bottle just sat in a corner petrified.

I think what paul is saying is your brain is trying to tell you that what ever it was that caused you to split. Your mother must have provideded some level of comfort for you to be running back to her.

Not saying she was perfect - she was a cloth monkey - enough was there for you to gain a shred of comfort.

Had she been completely cold you would not have run back to her in your dream. Like the rhesus monkeys with the wire bottle you would have delt with the trauma alone.

There were other cruler experiments with rhesus monkeys...... https://exploringyourmind.com/harlows-e ... nt-theory/

oh I see, ok. My mum was very loving and dedicated. I wouldn't have got as far as I did without her persistence and dedication. unfortunately she passed away (many years ago now) and although I was in my early twenties chronologically, emotionally I was much younger. I didn't understand death, grieving or concepts like angels and heaven so just shut down emotionally.

And strangely though I didn't understand the meaning and depth of feeling when she used to tell me she loved me as a child, now as an adult it often makes me feel terribly lonely that she was the last person who ever said that to me and meant it as neither my dad (who also passed but several years later) or my brother ever talk about feelings or have ever said that to me. I suspect they both are/was probably also on the top end of the asperger's spectrum.

Maybe that's why I value the unconditional love and acceptance my dogs have brought me so much cos it's the same kind of love?

KitMcDaydream wrote:Typed a really good reply and hit submit and the board lost it all! ... can't remember what I put now! and the frustration is triggering Kit so I'm going to have to leave it and come back later to reply properly...sorry

Thanks for the information anyway!

Me!

Sorry to hear that.. It's not nice, especially if you've put lot of thinking and effort into something and then it just disappears.

We have our setting the way that forum signs us in every time we enter, automatically. That stops it from happening. I think disappearing usually happens when forum has logged you out automatically, because for some weird reason forums don't count message writing as activity, but assume you're not doing anything if you're not jumping from one thread to another. And after a time limit it'll log you out.

We did lost messages when forum was not working properly tho, but after it happened I started to copy it before trying to send just to make sure it doesn't disappear for forever.

Anyway, don't worry about us, write again when you feel like it.

Flor

ok ..I'll try again!

SystemFlo wrote:
You've been thinking about core you, and you wrote there was a girl before all the ones that are here now.. you could also think it's about that. About "coming back" / going to the beginning of everything, while things like other parts and what's expected from you by other people keep you away from what feels to you is the source of truth.

I can't have any answers, it's all in you and you have all answers as well. I hope it still helped to hear dreams only tell what's going on in YOU, nothing else, nothing less. I hope that helps. I'd think about what does your mom represent to you, what does wheelchair represent, what could that "plugging in" with wires could be. Was it all about disabilities and time before it, or being forced to be with disability to hide your true condition (DID)?

Things you've told about your life matches really well with what's in the dream from my point of view, but my PoV can't access your dreams. Could it be about hope to end the life you live now? I don't mean by ending all life, but just the way it is now, with friends of parts that really don't run life anymore? Or was it scary to you, like getting caught? How going back to your mom felt to you, did she feel safe or scary or what? Or just natural, because it happened in the place where you used to live with her?

Flor

Right.. my mum represents a time in my life when I was happy, although I hated school and found it extremely stressful I have happy memories of life at home and family holidays camping. It felt like a time when life was very simple before everything (growing up and adult life) seemed to get so complicated! She understood me, she knew I had a 'need' to recharge in the way I did by retreating to my bedroom into an imaginery world and protected that need for me by keeping others away while I was doing it and by telling me I must always keep that world secret as people wouldn't understand (back in the 70's/80's they wouldn't have done..mental illness was something to be afraid of and most were institutionalized).

The wheelchair was seen as Maddie's for a long time and because she stayed up front nearly all the time in the first years after the initial incident no-one else realised the body was capable of recovering. I can see it's still needed if I want to go out anywhere as the knees genuinely have arthritis and can't stand/walk for long without needing to sit down. They are bad at the minute with the weather turning colder..which brings me to Kit.

Kit has worked hard to get the body back to semi mobility and I think was enjoying the exercise she could do throughout the summer but she lives alot in fantasy so she'd rather go on exercise bike but pretend she's cycling through the woods with the dogs and get lost in the fantasy than follow a DVD of gentle exercising for arthritis! I also think it helps release a lot of frustration for Kit and her not been able to exercise for the last few weeks like that may mean her frustration is coming through in our dreams?

Currently we have a brace on the right knee and have had to stop even the ring fit game until the knee recovers. It may be a while as temps are due to drop again next week!

I'm not sure about the 'plugging in' - maybe the fact they seemed to be the same as hearing aid wires... the friend (who is deaf) who knew us as both Deaf Thea (when we originally met) and knew the internet persona Maddie who came to represent the physical body. Maybe we have disconnected from her as we no longer feel we have anything in common now we understand our difficulty in processing sound is due to the Autism? There has been several incidents over the years that has led to us feeling we can't trust her and that she no longer see's us as her best friend anyway. I feel we have just grown apart.

Haven't a clue what the slices of white bread mean!

Maybe you're right about wanting to go back to an earlier life/alter (which happened before we ever met that particular friend) maybe part of us feels we can't go back to that completely while she is in our life? Like even if we won the lottery and could buy a house back in the village we grew up in where there are people there who still know us by our birth name, she would still be expecting to visit and family have been calling us by the name we changed it to legally for years now..so would be kind of like 'you're not changing your name again???'.. we're used to calling you [legal forename] now! ..so can't see that happening!

Kit still imagines up scenario's that would allow us to 'disappear', wars, hurricanes etc where this house was destroyed so the friend would assume we were dead. However that's Kit's fantasy and a couple of us don't want to leave this house because it holds memories of a life with our very much loved old dog who lived most of her life here and is near a nature park we used to visit as a child in a bird watching club...so going there also helps me to feel reconnected to 'my old self'

Maybe the dream reflects the inner conflict between the desires of different parts?