The worst superpower

Other people's trauma is obvious to us. This is not a misguided attempt at braggadocio. We hate being this way. We hate seeing other people like us still in contact with their abusers. People say they want to know what happened, but they don't. Not really. It couldn't be them, never them, they say but the pieces are all there and we HATE how easily we fit them together.

Hi, Lovethehouse, and welcome. I'm assuming you're saying that you can sense that other people have survived trauma, not that you can someone sense exactly what kinds of trauma they experienced. I think to some extent sensing trauma in others is true for a lot of people who experienced trauma, even if they're not fully conscious of that awareness.

I've often met people or gotten to know them over time and thought, that person was abused. I remember having that sense long before I knew I had DID. I'll never know how often that sense was accurate, of course.

The structure and nature of DID works against knowing what happened, especially learning about it all suddenly. But it's not so that no one with DID wants to know what happened to them. It may be accurate to say that some of us with DID want to know and simultaneously don't want to know.

If there were some way for me to become aware, in a very short period of time, of everything that happened to us, I would want to do that. But my final decision would depend on the chances for breakdown and recovery. I mean, I have life obligations, like my son and my job, and it may not make sense to remember everything too quickly if the risks of a long-lasting breakdown, including awful things like homelessness, were high.

How are things going for you generally? Do you happen to be in therapy? I'm assuming you have DID based on your reference to "people like us" and, of course, posting here.

In the support group I was going to, dunno if I still am going to it, I knew this guy was abused even though he didn't say. I missed the group where he said it and he said he'd said it in a previous group. I thought "yea I knew that when I looked at you" but I couldn't say that so I said nothing and just nodded as he spoke. He wasn't going into detail and I didn't push it but my guess is it's also family that abused him because that also seems to come across differently. It is horrible to look at someone and know and mostly because I can't react how others possibly do - with shock and oh no etc. I could pretend but I don't like to fake reactions so I just nodded and I knew that wasn't what he wanted but saying what I was thinking would of been worse.

Johnny-Jack wrote:Hi, Lovethehouse, and welcome. I'm assuming you're saying that you can sense that other people have survived trauma, not that you can someone sense exactly what kinds of trauma they experienced

Hi Johnny-Jack, probably a little of both. Someone is feeling resentful that they have to remember what happened to us when other people "get" to forget. Not clear on the rest.

Johnny-Jack wrote: How are things going for you generally? Do you happen to be in therapy? I'm assuming you have DID based on your reference to "people like us" and, of course, posting here.

Things are okay. I have been going to therapy, yes. I thought it was just CPTSD until one of the others started talking to me after an EMDR session. My therapist had me take the MID and it returned a combination of DID and PTSD, so we're proceeding "as if". Communication isn't good. The EMDR was a shock, but those barriers went back up as soon as they could manage. I don't think I was supposed to find out I had DID or something?

lovethehouse wrote:Someone is feeling resentful that they have to remember what happened to us when other people "get" to forget. Not clear on the rest.

If they're angry or sarcastic or resentful, they had every reason and every right to be. For us, the hosts who didn't have to deal with the memories and the abuse were the ones who were expected to be flexible and understanding, not the other way around. In our system, the abused, angry alters had earned our respect by virtue of their sacrifice and the hosts agreed that we needed to work to earn their respect. That worked well in our system but then our abused alters weren't major trouble causers.

Later, some of our angry alters would get stuck out front and had to fulfill the daily life tasks anyway. They soon realized they didn't like managing everything, it was exhausting, so our mutual admiration for our individual strengths and what we contributed to the whole grew from that.

I don't think I was supposed to find out I had DID or something?

Yeah, I think that is a really common rule, it sure was for us. It's one thing that needs to be negotiated towards change once a host or hosts start to become aware and commit themselves to accepting the DID and working with everyone. That said, there's almost always backsliding to "I don't think I have DID, maybe I'm just being dramatic," or the like.

Hey there,

I can always „sense“ that too. And I often worry that I am so obviously hurt everybody can see it, y‘know. Like if I can see it in others, you would probably also see it in me.

Sending you some puppy-video vibes.
Jules xx

lartiste wrote:Hey there,

I can always „sense“ that too. And I often worry that I am so obviously hurt everybody can see it, y‘know. Like if I can see it in others, you would probably also see it in me.

Sending you some puppy-video vibes.
Jules xx

I thought that but no, in general they can't it seems.

Thanks, everyone who responded to this. It was a more confusing first post than I'd intended to make lol. Thank you for being welcoming.