memory storage when co-con

There is something that I notice about our memory.
We as hosts are mostly co-conscious these days, so I know what happened even when I am not fronting.
But it fades really quickly to the point that it feels more like a dream and I am not sure about details anymore. like, within a day. not like normal forgetting.
When I ask Asti, who has been fronting, she seems to have stored the full memory with the quality of it being her own memory and not a dream-like thing. She is able to recall things that had gone fuzzy for me already. But even if she tells me, that doesn't restore my memory of the situation. I can't remember. it stays fuzzy.
it's the same the other way round when I am fronting.
I was wondering if others have observed this.

Yeah this is more or less exactly like what we experience!

Its like the brain only 'saves' the memory of whoever is fronting? So when we're coconsious, even stuff where like we're talking to each other, or having like a system meeting or whatever, its only remembered by the one fronting.

Anyone who's coconsious but not fronting, when they do front its like the memory of stuff they experienced from inside, is like a faded dream. Bits and pieces are missing, details missing, but the overall 'big picture' they can usually remember.

And then if something happens to remind them, like we look at our journal or whatever, some reminder to 'jog the memory' what actually gets remembered is from the fronting person's PoV.

So like if we had like a system meeting, and V1 was fronting & I was inside, then when I'm fronting & remember the meeting, I can only remember everything from V1's point of view. Like I can't remember my own thoughts & feelings & whatever, and only even remember what I said, from how V1 heard it.

Its kinda one of the things that fed into our denial & self doubt for along time tbh, cos of not having those 'inside' memories like other systems sometimes talk about. But we're mostly over that now, like now we understand this is how it works for us & just kinda accept it?

OTOH there have been a few, like very few occasions, where we do have stuff remembered from the inside perspective. Like I can think of like, 2 things that I experienced being inside, that I remember from my own PoV. So it's not that it 'never' happens, but its really super rare.

At least, this is how it works for the ones in our system who front alot.

I'm pretty sure its entirely different for the ones who're mostly / only inside. I think at one point V2 said it might be that our inside memories are 'locked inside', like an amnesia wall betweein inside & outside, so when we're outside we don't get to access the inside memories?

Viola

Yes, very much the same here. I spoke about it in therapy last week. Its like going to the movies and then straight after you watched the movie I only remember a few things and not in full color but I know I watched the movie minutes ago. And then in the next days it can fade away to extend that there is no recolection of seeing the movie at al, butt not neccesarily.

And what amytyst says, like only the one who is most present stores the(full) memory and the moment. Rest is just bits and peaces or big thread through life but not more than that.

We usually experience this the same way as everyone has described so far. But we don't want to say "always," because there may be experiences where folks were co-fronting or providing enough passive influence to establish a memory of their own.

MDs

Me too. Fuzzy hazey idea of what's gone on but not memory. But parts have sharp memory of things and if a memory is needed they push it forward. The twins did make Jane, a memory bank, but that hasn't been around for me. For me it's the old fashioned way of "ummmm what happened there" and then somebody will show pics or tell me or give me the feeling of it. Which is how it always used to work. It's slower and less detailed in facts than Jane apparently, I'm not sure why I don't have access to Jane but I don't think I want or need it to be fair.

birdsong87 wrote:There is something that I notice about our memory.
We as hosts are mostly co-conscious these days, so I know what happened even when I am not fronting.
But it fades really quickly to the point that it feels more like a dream and I am not sure about details anymore. like, within a day. not like normal forgetting.
When I ask Asti, who has been fronting, she seems to have stored the full memory with the quality of it being her own memory and not a dream-like thing. She is able to recall things that had gone fuzzy for me already. But even if she tells me, that doesn't restore my memory of the situation. I can't remember. it stays fuzzy.
it's the same the other way round when I am fronting.
I was wondering if others have observed this.

The few times I've been co-con... the things others were doing and I was watching (not fully co-con, but more just "watching" and "aware" but unable to communicate or impact it any way)... those times felt dream-like, even looking back it's very surreal and dream-like. I KNOW it was real, but it doesn't FEEL real...