Inner World Memories & Incidents (for fun and sharing)

Hey all people and cat-people! Hey all new ones in the thread and especially the ones I haven't met before at all.

Jude, don't worry about being different. That's still inner stuff, right? And same with Zor and Sarandipity. Our host can't get inside at all, but she can like share the experience of someone inside sometimes, and knows how it's like for him/her. I dunno why it happens when it happens, but we don't know about it inside then. We just need to get used to that, that she can feel anything any time and knows sometimes loads of details about things that are like, private, or like trying to be private. She's super cool about it, that's why it doesn't feel as embarrassing as it could.

Viola, there's a thing like that in our country, air guitar playing competition. I dunno if it's a thing in anywhere else, but that's like what you did, without the tail. I've never seen it live, just heard about the event. Some people totally rock plain air, publicly, and compete in it. I don't think there's tail guitar competitions, but if tails were more common in people where we live in, I'd say there's no competition for that, yet. I mean, if you have a tail, just rock it. And cool that you joined in, I thought you said in some other thread before too how you don't have inner lives, and it's great you're here. I thought you're not interested. I'm up to hearing the not-family-friendly story too.

Kitten, that's like a fairy tale story covered with pink glitter. You totally sound super girly girl, I'm happy you found a guy willing to dress like Disney prince or what ever, cause I don't think there's too many guys into things like that. Imma guy and maybe not right audience to glitter romantic pink stuff, like I do think I'm romantic, but different way I guess. Are you the kind of girl who finds it super important, this proposal stuff and weddings? Chose your wedding dress when you were like 5 and stuff?

How did you became a thing with Kaleb, and Pixie with Angel? Was it because you were in same high school or ..??? Where do you know each others from? I dunno can I share my & Sami's story, cause it has trigger warning stuff. I think my whole life is trigger warning stuff for different reasons.

Just came by to say hey. I don't have a story to tell now, because of reasons. I will have later on. See you later!

LUCAS

Hey Lucas,

Yeah in our system the ones who're mostly like front-people, we don't really have inside lives. Or if we do, we don't remember? V2 had some theories & stuff, about amnesia walls etc. For me I just have like a handful of memories/experiences inside.

Thats pretty cool about like actual air-guitar competitions lol, never heard of that before! I don't think I'd be able to do that lol, it was embarassing enuf just having V1 see it lol!

I dunno if it's ok for me to share the other thing, like the forum might have rules about that stuff, even if I used warnings.

Viola

Floralie wrote:Kitten, that's like a fairy tale story covered with pink glitter. You totally sound super girly girl, I'm happy you found a guy willing to dress like Disney prince or what ever, cause I don't think there's too many guys into things like that. Imma guy and maybe not right audience to glitter romantic pink stuff, like I do think I'm romantic, but different way I guess. Are you the kind of girl who finds it super important, this proposal stuff and weddings? Chose your wedding dress when you were like 5 and stuff?

How did you became a thing with Kaleb, and Pixie with Angel? Was it because you were in same high school or ..??? Where do you know each others from? I dunno can I share my & Sami's story, cause it has trigger warning stuff. I think my whole life is trigger warning stuff for different reasons.

Just came by to say hey. I don't have a story to tell now, because of reasons. I will have later on. See you later!

LUCAS

Sooooo couldn't have like said it better myself! She IS a girlie girl... ballet, princess dresses, almost NEVER in pants (leggings around the house or as an under layer) or shorts (she'll wear these if they have a skirt over them).

So how did they like meet? This is an ADORABLE story - I'll talk to her about getting Kaleb to share it.

{\Pixie/}

So like while waiting for Kitten or Kaleb to reply... I just realized you asked ME too... LOL

So like Angel and I met in the inner world a long time after each of us like existed... I think for a long time we didn't really have one, or certainly not communal for ALL of us at first. I met Kitten when we were both little girls, probably about the time she came to exist, and Kaleb was around then, too... so...

Angel, despite being among the first with me, didn't appear inside WITH us until later. MUCH later.

So like just before Halloween one year Kitten and Kaleb met Angel and his sister Taylor (she'd be important inside later, and I THINK we know what she represents from outside, too- but that's another story) just after they'd moved in. Their house was mostly in boxes, and they were there while their parents were away to get lunch or more boxes or something. Anyhow, Angel was in like white jeans with a "gems" thingy making a heart on the leg, a red girls' shirt with hearts on it- turned out his sister made him wear it (she was older, a bully, and especially mean to Angel who had grown up wearing hand-me-downs from his sisters- the other sister was out of the house already at this point).

So anyhow, they invite them to go with us Trick-or-Treating with the little kids we'd take around. Kitten and I were like 12 then... no, 13. Angel was 12 (he's 11 months younger than me, to the day) and Kaleb would have been 14... or just turned 15.... Anyhow...

So like they show up and they're a boy scout and girl scout. Angel, the girl scout. With his long curly hair I didn't realize he was a boy... and his sister, her super short hair and kinda forceful attitude and stuff, she really came off as a guy and I didn't catch on. ROFL
Well all night she's hitting on me, another reason I ASSUMED she was a guy, and kissed my cheek even at the end of the night.

Two days later we meet them at a pizza place and in walks Angel and I'm like "OHMYGOSH Angel's a boy?! AND HE'S CUTE!" Then Taylor comes in- in a camisole and a SUPER SHORT miniskirt... I was FLOORED. LOL

Long story short, Angel and I hit it off almost immediately, and this caused issues with Taylor cuz like she had a thing for me or something and also hated me (again- long story) and basically was super jealous of Angel and me, and would cause probs for us at times, but also did some sweet things... and ultimately hurt me BADLY, before realizing it hurt her and she was gone forever (maybe one day we'll tell this story, but for now... no. And not without Angel being ready, too).

But she, we believe, represents (at least in OUR perception) the "girl-monster" that hurt us outside, the foster kid, "nearly big sister" to me, and close to Angel but hating him, too- cuz that's kinda that situation for the foster girl with us/Zor outside... super long and convoluted... and not at all a direct 1-to-1 translation INSIDE.

But, yeah. The entire Halloween night I thought Angel was this ADORABLE girl, then realized days later he was a VERY CUTE boy... and we hit it off, and on Valentine's Day following, I sorta kinda accidentally agreed to a "date" with Taylor... and it was a disaster... but Angel was there with Taylor's friend, and they (the friend and Taylor) hit it off, and that left Angel and I with time to talk and I was in a rare dress (I almost NEVER wore them then, especially lacy, frilly, pretty/cutesy ones like I wore that night) and we just clicked. He kissed my hand when we first saw each other, and kissed my cheek before the end of the night... I was in heaven.

And we were just on and off from there, mostly "on"... until we eventually married inside like 5 years ago now.

{\Pixie/}

Sorry it's been a while to get to this. So, it's Kaleb. It's my first time I am writing here... but Kitten tells me I should share this myself.

So since someone asked about how Kitten and I met inside...

I was 4 or 5 when I first met her. So for several weeks, a few months, I'd see the house next door (the ONLY neighbor for about a mile) being built. I was very excited to have someone to play with- then I found out, the new neighbors didn't have a little boy, they had a GIRL. So, naturally, I didn't want to have a little girl around... so I griped and griped and griped for the entire time...

So one day I see a car outside, I look out and see her. Next thing I know, I'm on the counter watching out the kitchen window, watching this little girl and her parents. So, Mom walks in and sees me "What in the world do you think you're doing?!"
"The new neighbors mommy."

So then I start to beg her to take me out there to meet them, to meet HER. So Mom chuckles shooing me off the counter. "But I thought you didn't want anything to do with an icky prissy girl?" She mockingly teased me.

And my only defense was, "But, Mommy, you didn't tell me she was so pretty!"

Yeah, my mom shared that story often- including at our wedding. LOL

This is more for sharing than for fun I guess. It's not funny just what goes on internally and probably relates to one of the twins stories because it comes from them. So story or internal life I dunno.

The twins five years ago hid the leader of "the black hand" which is an actual organisation, I googled it. They hid him and faked his death. Nobody cared because he was wanted by every authority and his own men, alot of them, didn't like him.

They put a decoy in a prison. Nicolai his top man. They spread word to authority that he was the leader of the black hand but the members of the black hand knew he wasn't.

So confusion, is he dead or not. No. They hid him where they don't even know where he is. They said "good luck finding the boogy man because we hid him and we don't even know where he is"

This is when reality collides with the story or internal life. I was smoking a cigarette by a railway track. The twins kept saying they were waiting for a message. Graffiti on the side of the train said "jail. bad. tazer. move" And something else I can't remember. I don't know if it was really on the train or the twins made me hallucinate, they can do that. But that wasn't from the hand. It was from the decoy.

So then a few weeks later the actual message came. I will not say what it was. Again it took real form. The hand was still alive and he wanted his money back and his organisation that the twins were babysitting.

Again real life collided and a guy escaped from prison. The twins say "that's the decoy. Not the hand or the devil or the Russian" the twins call him the "Comrade" so the rest of the system thinks he's Russian and call him the Russian except he isn't Russian.

The twins bought a couple of people out of the black hand, they said, but I dunno, people they like. Because working for the hand is not great so they say and you can't just leave the hand. It's not that type of organisation.

They gave him his money back and gave him theirs too. So they could do nothing. Although I think they still do small things. He trusted them. They trust him. The hand is not great to work for, apparently, but he's a straight forward person. The twins helped him when nobody else would.

They are more relaxed now and just focusing on system stuff, helping Karen and the fragments than this internal world stuff or story or if you believe them what they have actually been doing for five years.

I feel the relaxation in my shoulders. Like they're not worried or tense or hypervigilant making everyone else hypervigilant. They say if they issue the hand will know and deal with it but nobody will find him or know it was him. Or her. The hand could be a woman I guess.

What this actually means I have no idea. It obviously means something in my system. The twins genuinely feel an outside person, the leader of the black hand, is watching out for them and they're more relaxed so if it helps then it's ok I guess.

They say he's the boogy monster. That nobody will find him. That if you can trust someone to finish what they started its him. He more has the stomach for it but if you meet him he's calm, he's placid - like me I suppose - he has different sides. That's why they like him. They say they found him playing online poker in an internet game hosted by triads. It's part of the last of the books I think. Another of their stories but how they make all this up is amazing really. I guess though when your only escape is your mind you get a "vivid imagination" not taking that personally any more because a vivid imagination is part of me, mostly kept safe inside the twins. They are imagination condensed the same way other things are condensed in other parts. Like the key - someone said - I dunno what the key is but apparently the key is insurance. The twins are also highly paranoid even if they implicitly trust someone. They can 100% trust someone and still put several what if back up plans in place. With the hand it's the same but different. They made a deal with him and they know he's standing by it, somehow, whoever he is, wherever he is. They know simply based on trust. Which I have to say is very odd for them but they are more relaxed so who cares.

Sharing. That's one of my inner worlds. I was listening to Eminem. Usually the twins will sing along in a personal way but they changed it all to "he" instead of "I" and then started going on about the hand and as the song finished and we got out the car they said "good luck finding the boogy monster because we hid him and we don't even know where he is" which apparently they hid him like that on purpose for his protection and peace of mind. So I wish the hand well, inside or outside lol because I'm still trying to respect their delusions that this is external as it keeps them quieter.

I have a fun one! I surprised myself. I thought I'd never have a fun one to share but I do.

I was in a queue and an advert had a monkey snow boarding or skiing. I thought I wonder if the overlords monkey's are doing that with the twins because the twins love snowboarding. The overlord then said from inside laughing "they don't need to snowboard they have wings" (his monkies have wings) and then I saw an image of them snowboarding off a cliff and taking flight and the twins said "but they could do this" It looked funny.

It was more inner dialogue with visual images but I think it counts lol.

Sarandipity wrote:I have a fun one! I surprised myself. I thought I'd never have a fun one to share but I do.

I was in a queue and an advert had a monkey snow boarding or skiing. I thought I wonder if the overlords monkey's are doing that with the twins because the twins love snowboarding. The overlord then said from inside laughing "they don't need to snowboard they have wings" (his monkies have wings) and then I saw an image of them snowboarding off a cliff and taking flight and the twins said "but they could do this" It looked funny.

It was more inner dialogue with visual images but I think it counts lol.

It totally for sure counts! Thanks for sharing that with us!

{\Pixie/}

Not innerworld per se, but a funny thing that happened yesterday

I was planning my upcoming week and thought „I‘ll get the groceries tomorrow“ and I get cut off with Riley yelling from derp in the headspace: „My name is troy I have a basketball game tomorroo“ (the vine kid) and I burst out laughing

Jules xx