Dissociative symptoms?

AmmeSO wrote:I just received a email. Like right now. It says Hi xxxx_xx__jedi, don't miss out on the latest discussions at xxxxx community...I feel this complete dread right now. I don't recall ever creating this account in a skincare forum.

Can you check your browser history? That would show if you (or someone on your device) created the account. Or this could be a new wave of marketing by internet businesses that have purchased lists of email addresses associated with IP numbers.

Una+ wrote:No worries re dementia or psychosis. The condition you are suffering from is very well known and has a name: insufficient fund of knowledge.

Hi Una, I'm sorry what is insufficient fund of knowledge? I have no idea of this condition. Is it related to anxiety?

I wanted to check my history, but I deleted it some time ago, so I reset the password and found no posts made by me in this account. I feel better. I must have created it to gain access to some posts.

Thanks everyone for your replies

I might as well continue to post things or symptoms here I am starting to question now that I am viewing my past with a new point of view.
In hindsight my memory loss was already awful during my teens. When I try to recall my teenage years, I feel I have gaps of not remembering. I was involved intimately with my best friend (same sex) during ages 15 to 16, but I cannot remember how we went from platonic good friends at 13 to being intimate in a romantic relationship. My orientation is straight (I believe) but in the past, I just thought it was a phase of exploring my sexuality. All of my other relationships before and after this one had been with guys which I can remember how it started. The reason I had was I felt lonely, so it's natural to be intimate with someone you felt close to. Feels like I am reading too much into past teens years. Headache trying to remember how the hell we jumped from bffs to romantic partners.
I guess this is the most confronting evidence I have if I try to see my past with 'DID lens' : memory loss of starting a relationship.

Just wondering if anyone else experienced this, where you thought you have fully accepted and expected an outcome, but then when you are told of the outcome, you feel this devastation and sadness that it's true?
I knew for a long time I was depressed. Last year, I told a doctor of my symptoms and he ordered a thyroid test. I think I held out hope my depression was a symptom of hypothyroidism, or hormonal and that all treatment takes is a pill, like thyroid hormones.
When the test came back normal, he told me I need to fill out this depression assessment form for referral to a T. I broke down and cried and cried even though I thought I was composed. I had this complete breakdown in this doctor's office. This is perhaps one of the clearest memory I have in 2019. And the utter overwhelming feeling of shame.

I took that form home to complete and never went back to the doctor for an official diagnosis. I thought I was ready to face it, but I wasn't. I really thought so.

deleted post.

AmmeSO wrote:Just wondering if anyone else experienced this, where you thought you have fully accepted and expected an outcome, but then when you are told of the outcome, you feel this devastation and sadness that it's true?

Hey AmmeSO,

Yeah I think that's kinda common? We went to our first T cos we already suspected DID, we were pretty sure it had to be DID and we'd spent like almost 2 months trying to rule it out and look for any other option, but nothing else fit.

But then when she made it official it was still overwhelming and scary and stuff all over again.

Just try to keep yourself calm and stuff. Try not to let yourself get carried away with like, what-ifs and but-thens and maybes and stuff. You'll be ok.

Viola

Hi Viola,
thank you for sending out your concern, thank you it really helped me. I think I will let things fall as they may, and be at peace with myself till I have the energy and time to seek help for my memory loss. There are things I need to focus on like getting us into a stable and safe point in our life ( me and hubby)

I will stick with my intital purpose of posting here, which is to seek insight into helping my spouse with DID, and contributing my knowledge of living with my spouse with DID.

Again, thank you. I am glad to find this forum, to seek and give support. I hope you are doing okay too, sometimes we just need to tell ourselves we'll be okay and situations will pass, be it good or bad. Thanks for that Viola:)

AmmeSO wrote:Hi Viola,
thank you for sending out your concern, thank you it really helped me. I think I will let things fall as they may, and be at peace with myself till I have the energy and time to seek help for my memory loss. There are things I need to focus on like getting us into a stable and safe point in our life ( me and hubby)

I will stick with my intital purpose of posting here, which is to seek insight into helping my spouse with DID, and contributing my knowledge of living with my spouse with DID.

Again, thank you. I am glad to find this forum, to seek and give support. I hope you are doing okay too, sometimes we just need to tell ourselves we'll be okay and situations will pass, be it good or bad. Thanks for that Viola:)

Sometimes when around someone it can bring out or highlight traits you have or you notice them more. There's that possibility.

When I worked with a guy who I strongly suspected had DID I was switching and switching (which somebody here told me called revolving door). It calmed down because Mandy (a child part) got to know and named all his alters. She named them after characteristics she most associated with them "angry guy" "friendly guy" "future guy" (because he talked about what he wanted to do alot) and one day after Christmas he came in and Mandy said dunno who that is, he seemed really relaxed so we concluded he had a different alter that was "at home" when he said "I thought we were supposed to be off work today" We saw a couple of younger parts too, mostly at lunch but Mandy didn't name them as she ate lunch with them. We got into a routine which meant Patrick went to work and Mandy would say which alter was there and it made life easier and then Mandy would eat lunch. A problem came when Beth liked another guy in a friendly way and she started to come forward at work, luckily the guy wasn't there everyday, she wasn't very good at the practical stuff.

I went off track, sorry. My point was sometimes if you're around someone who has similar traits to you it can highlight them. So maybe, like most people, you have dissociation of simple things eg driving familiar routes and quickly signing up to something for a purpose (you were focused on looking at the site and didn't remember the quickly signing up part). This is highlighted for you because of your partner and you're noticing things more but it's not necessarily a full on dissociative disorder.

The office lady where I worked with the guy who probably also had DID can be very silly and childlike and that seemed to be brought out of her more at lunch time even though she didn't often eat with us. I don't think she had DID or a child part, I think she has that in her nature and sometimes in the right conditions it'd be more obvious. She was always joking with customers but it's part of her personality not a dissociative part - I dunno if this is making sense, I'm trying to use it as an example of highlighting verses having a dissociative disorder.

I'd like to share some links to threads relating to the conversation here.

Sarandipity wrote:When I worked with a guy who I strongly suspected had DID I was switching and switching (which somebody here told me called revolving door).

We have a thread about the so-called revolving door of rapid DID switching:

DID Forum: Revolving Door

Sarandipity wrote:The office lady [...] can be very silly and childlike [...] I don't think she had DID or a child part

Everyone has ego states and some people allow their childlike ego states a loose rein or a long leash; that isn't DID. The difference between this and DID is important but can be a challenge to observe objectively outside of a clinical interview. However, persons with DID and persons who treat DID often can feel the difference subjectively. We have a thread about that too:

DID Forum: Do you have DID-dar?