Single asks about shifting

I'm curious, what does shifting feel like?
Not being harshly triggered out, but a gradual shift.
Thanks!
-Leana

I've been a longtime (kind of) reader here. When I shift I feel.... odd. It's hard to explain, but I feel irritable and then... bam, I feel "different." I don't always notice it right away, others don't either. I might feel intelligent then if something triggers me I lose all thought and shift into another where I most likely won't remember what it was I was talking about. Or I seem to appear ... random to others. They have said I don't complete what I'm saying and they get annoyed... when I am trying to but perhaps I switch too often? I'm not sure. But my brain feels fuzzy and... bleh, when it happens. Sometimes it feels numb or painful...

I dont feel it, just realise it when im back again.
A big shift in hosts can take months to complete fully

I've been thinking about how this works because I'm so much present in the body lately. Before I was just there as needed.

I don't know if this relates to switching exactly but it's how it's worked for me.

Since hospital admission a three months ago I became more and more present and Beth who was previously present alot stepped back.

If you put me on my own I'm like an empty see through person who does things because I have to and I don't really have any emotions about it unless I get in a rage but that takes someone being a threat to my children or being a threat to weaker parts of myself. That takes quite alot to achieve. Other than that I'm completely rational and solution focused.

But I started off when first out of hospital with Obsidian. Obsidian is usually an insider and not "with it" out here - she is the definition of chilled out. I think of us like a painting (or someone does but I find it useful). Obsidian is warm like a sunrise or a sunset, relaxed and calm so I was also like this and only said anything at all when another part was upset because I did start off with Beth so she did most interaction and I just said something when she was bullied. It was pleasant and relaxed except for the depression and anxiety of Beth which turned out to be some kind of emotional cloud that had latched on to her.

Then Lapis Lazuli became the background of the painting. She's more like high noon, the middle of day, full on pressure of work getting done and things happening.

So if you put me, who is largely see through and emotionless onto either of those back drops it's a very different result. I got lonely and Lilly came, her presence shifts the overall colours of the painting because she's more like candy floss and fun. She sees fun in everything and every problem is like an opportunity to her. She's upbeat.

She'll see "Paul you're kind of lieing and implying we watched something on TV that we didn't" as an excuse to watch it where as Beth would see it as a pressure and omg we kind of lied this is terrible. So I feel much more protective of Lilly. I won't have negative people around someone who is so free. Whereas Beth is already miserable and also moany at me so I feel less like wanting to protect her - to me she kind of enjoys being miserable, she wallows in it and makes a mountain out of a mole hill. Where as Lilly thinks "oh good we can do that now"

So I suppose switching here is like the colours of the day and whoever is around changes the shade and the light.

If another part jumps in because there's something they like then that can happen quickly. I had planned to do necessary morning stuff and give Mandy the rest of the day but due to changes in plans I'm gonna do chores, eat food and just hang out with Lilly.

Mandy jumping in when Obsidian is about is different to when it's Lapis because it effects her enthusiasm level.

Is there a word for this? - having a kind of backdrop person (not in the background or internal but making up the colour and shade) of how the overall person is in the body? Were sort of sharing but I wouldn't say co-concious with Lapis she's just sort of providing the colours to what we do or how we are.

Paul

Parafoxical wrote:I'm curious, what does shifting feel like?
Not being harshly triggered out, but a gradual shift.
Thanks!
-Leana

If you gots DID it feel how ever your dissociation feel like.

My T got me in to a special website that T's have to do this referral thing. the website was made by my T, the hospital T's and the hospital Psychiatrists, and lots of other T's psychiatrists. its got a forum and chats and special stuff about mental disorders and therapies. We can also talk with our own T's on it, not friend like. like being in therapy.

Im in the DID group there and it says switching with DID feels different to everyone. it feels how ever it feels when you dissociate.if you dissociation thing is numb then thats how it feels to switch, if your dissociation thing is feeling floaty thats how it feels to switch, if you dissociate feel like far away thats how switching feels.

lots ot T's and psychiatrists on this new website forum say if you gots DID you already know what dissociation feels like cause you lived with it all your live long breathing life after the trauma that caused your DID. you just gots to think about what you dissociate like then you knows.

Im learning lots on my T's new website. I like hearing how hospitals T's and Psychaitrists in other states and my place too that believe the same things my T does and different things too. and tho they use different words then my T does its all the same thing. I like how no one there assumes people posting is an alter and how IFS there is the way my T is teaching me, they even using 4 different IFS books but its all the same stuff.

theres also a board that talks about changes like the october 2018 supplemental thingys Im glad my T didnt lead me wrong like other people keep trying to tell me. if she did lead me wrong other T's and Psychaitrists in california, florida, oregon, washington that are on there too would say so.

this weeks chats on this website is all about finding how you dissociate. what dissociation is. whats a part whats an alter, next week is going to be about how DID alters are made.

can you talk to your T and ask her to tell you about switching / shifting.

Well dissociating and switching are two different things for me and even different in and for my alters and thus for the whole system. There are many ways you can dissociate and many ways you can switch and they are defenitly not the same.

Allcoulors wrote:Well dissociating and switching are two different things for me and even different in and for my alters and thus for the whole system. There are many ways you can dissociate and many ways you can switch and they are defenitly not the same.

not understand what you mean. do you mean you dont dissociate when you become your alters. how does that work. DID is dissociative disorder and alters are dissociation kind that comes out when someone dissociate, how is it differerent for you. do you mean like my carol and Sally are different. Caorl is DID alter and Sally is sub personality alter. with Carol I gets my dissociation and with Sally I dont.

We've been aware of the DID for the better part of a decade and are in regular therapy so switching is different from how it was previously, basically everything about it is "less" than it was.

We don't consider dissociating and switching to be the same thing, though they're related and can happen concurrently. In therapy or if I'm triggered, I can dissociate, fuzz out a bit or a lot, yet still remain fronting. There may well be one or two other alters nearby when I dissociate but that doesn't mean they switch in. One of us can be fronting and just dissociate out of boredom or to bring the body back to some state of equilibrium for that alter fronting.

We can and do switch many times per day among our hosts and other frequent fronters with no dissociation at all, in fact, no awareness among ourselves that we've switched. We're actually trying to develop more awareness when it's happening, though it feels a bit silly, like trying to turn an automatic process such as washing the dishes into a conscious set of decisions.

So for the switching just described, it feels like nothing. There's no sensation or anything we've been able to identify that accompanies those switches.

For other switching, particularly one between a very young alter and a teen or older, there is a second or two of "down time," as one alter fades back and the other slips into the body. This is comfortable and we've done it so many times that I liken it to going into a different building you know well. If you pay attention, you might notice a slight change in temperature, lighting, or air flow but not much else.

What I wrote earlier and what vibeka and johnny jack wrote can all happen in switching and /or dissociating.
Johnny jack, my temprature rises significant when a little takes over, always thought I was the only one.. Thanks for sharing.

Sometimes when I taken my turn after grace lady she wont go proper and we get stuck like a tree or a stachu an then I cant moove but it my thinkin and my voice only I dont gets the body. Last week nurse katie came to help with cookin I like nurse katie and I only wana come out an say hi but gracelady was cookin and she didn give me my turn proper so we got stuck an I try to move an I couldn an I try to talk but it came out funny cos gracelady had her tongue out from concentratin an wouldnt put it back in then nurse katie touched me an I felt it an gracelady jumped cos she dont like touchin an then she was gone. Other times I just say gracelady your turn an then I dont know nothin till some one say peter your turn. Other times I sitin in the waitin space an I can hear things like underwater in bath tub sounds an see things sorta fuzzy an if Mo out front she will say out loud not now peter so other people know I'm waitin or if people there that not know bout me she say I gotta headache or oops best put my teef back in cos I make her a bit jumblee when I in the waitin space. An when I'm out an my turn is up then someone say say goodbye peter an I say good byr to the outside people. But if sometin hapen when I outside an it not for me but a grown up thing I get kinda worried an pacin an if mo ther it feel like a big hug an if gracelady there it feel like a ball of worry ohn no they gonna catch me worry an then I jus fall asleep till I not asleap cos I in the waitin place agane or cos someone sayin your turn peter.

peter.