Disorganized attachment

Thank you for sharing, Johnny-Jack.

The proper umbrella term for less-than-ideal attachment is "insecure attachment" (vs. secure attachment). Disorganized attachment is a term for insecure attachment characterized by a chaotic response. E.g. reaching out for the caregiver and then turning away as they hug you, or going closer and then stopping in your tracks. It's about the dilemma of having a caregiver that is also scary or scared.

I was shocked about what you wrote about how it's not our fault. It is obvious, but it had never occurred to me before. I will try to look at it with more compassion, even when it is a tough realisation. It is easier to believe that I am fundamentally flawed than it is to accept that I was powerless to some extent.