How we are lately....(Possible trigger warning)

Possible trigger warning (At places throughout)

Well we still aren't doing good. I don't understand it. Some days everyone keeps to theirself.....other days there are fights (lately).......and yet some days we manage to come together for a few moments (before going back to "keeping to ourselves").

Rose used to love gardening. It was her favorite thing to do. She has...or should I say had?....a beautiful garden in the inner world. She....according to Weirdo.....destroyed it. Her gardens....in the outer world.....are filled with weeds. When we asked her what was wrong (kindly....out of concern).....she got mean with us. She told us to leave her alone. She says she hates gardening. We are really worried about her. She does a tad of gardening (in the outer world).....at times....just pulling some weeds.....BUT her gardens still are a mess. Weirdo and I helped a little some days. She seemed to like that.....BUT.....Rose says she can't wait until winter.

If you ask.....(this might seem mean....but I feel it is the truth. Based on how some of the others communicate to me....without words). I feel Rose is lying when she says she hates gardening. I think she still likes it....possibly even still loves it.....BUT....something is seriously bothering her. I can't tell what it is exactly though. She won't say. I'm not going to pry.

She began cutting back on gardening before the bad news regarding our dad. Then after getting that news......she totally changed. We all are devastated by the news. We dearly loved our dad (we miss him so much). I believe our "case" is different. Both of our parents were wonderful to us our whole lives.........it's just we had severe trauma in school....every day.

I don't know what to do. Plus.....I've been having horrible dreams again. That got better for awhile.....when things were beginning to improve. I feel so many emotions right now. I feel I should be outside fixing the garden for Rose.....BUT....I don't feel like it. I just don't have the energy right now. I should be doing so many things.....BUT.....I don't feel like it. Someone is crying. The three "new guys".....I mentioned (in another post)......are still causing trouble.

Someone wants to come out and play a video game. Yet a bunch want to do something else (separate).....I know this will possibly lead to a fight. UGH. Another is worried about what happened to our old journal....we had. I think someone else threw it out. I just don't know. We're a mess.

Probably will end up doing nothing again.....just so no one feels "left out". If I say....."okay you can play the game." The others will wonder why I didn't say they could do what they want. It wouldn't be so bad....if ALL of them didn't want to come out at the same time. It used to not be this way......unless of course they wanted to do the same thing. I honestly don't know why things got so bad lately.

I wish I knew how to talk to them. Plus.....there are a bunch I haven't saw for months. As far as I know.....no one has. I should go look for them....BUT no one knows where they are. I hope they're alright.

I feel crazy....like I'm losing my mind a lot lately. I'm very sad. I have so many worries lately. Our T still wants us to write. I have no energy to write. Just writing this....is "taking a toll". Honestly....due to how bad I feel.....I don't even know why I'm writing this. As far as I know....I've been writing this whole thing myself.....BUT.....I don't even know what I wrote now. In fact....I don't even remember beginning to type this at all. That's been happening a lot lately. Like I was in the shower yesterday.....and I didn't even remember when I got there. I didn't know if I washed or not.....so I did "again?". UGH. Things are very bad for us lately. Even Weirdo is "blanking out". That NEVER seemed to happen to him before. Not sure if it's a "host" thing.....or not. He is the "host" a lot more than me lately. We seem to take turns though......so I guess like "co-hosts." It's possible he started the shower....then I got "pulled out" for some reason. Our switches are chaotic at times lately.

What you describe is pretty much exactly how I am lately. The not being able to agree on what to do means we do nothing. I blank out in the shower more lately than I used to before.

Pretty much everything you said is how it is for me at the moment.

It's hard. Lapis Lazuli

Sarandipity wrote:What you describe is pretty much exactly how I am lately. The not being able to agree on what to do means we do nothing. I blank out in the shower more lately than I used to before.

Pretty much everything you said is how it is for me at the moment.

It's hard. Lapis Lazuli

I'm very sorry to hear...... that you're feeling the same way. I hope things improve for all of you soon.


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Two unknown guys are walking around in the inner world. None of us know who they are. I tried talking to the one. He didn't say anything at all to me. For some reason.....he keeps holding the side of his neck.....like it hurts....or something. He spelled something in the air.....but I couldn't understand. If I see him again.....which I hopefully will......maybe pen and paper will help?

Still being bothered by the four.....I mentioned before. They are causing LOTS of trouble.

I'm writing right now due to an issue we're having.

Trigger Warning

The one who originally wrote this thread went missing (somewhere in our inner world). Luckily- we found her. We know someone was behind her disappearance- but she won't tell us who. She says she's not going to tell us. She says that's to protect us.

-SHADOW

Not feeling so good.....in the head. Feel like It's very "foggy"....hard to think. Not sure why.

I just noticed what Shadow wrote.....that whole issue (that day) was really creepy. It scared me. I was just outside the "main building"....... in the inner world. Nothing unusual about that......being that I have been spending a lot of time there lately......mainly when Weirdo is "out"......and then all of a sudden.....

Trigger warning


To put it lightly.......Someone (in the inner world).....took me somewhere else. So I went missing.....but thankfully I managed to get back to the "main building".

End trigger warning


Long story short.....that guy was caught. He's in our "dungeon" right now. I don't really want him to be in there long......but he seems "unstable".....mainly due to what he said. I want to keep my inner friends safe.......so he must stay in there for now.

I don't understand what's going on lately. Our inner world is a mess. I feel utterly crazy. More are coming forth now. I honestly don't know what to think. I feel as if I'm completely losing my mind.....worse than ever.

I feel crazy and overwhelmed. Way too much to handle right now. UGH!



On a different note: (this has to do with something that happened in the inner world).............

Does anyone know how to clean lava up? Is that even possible?

I feel it is......in our inner word....anyway.....if not 100% cleaned up.....maybe we could divert it somehow? I just don't know how. I have a few ideas though (that I came up with). That would involve some.....who aren't friends (they're more like enemies).....working together though......so I highly doubt that would help right now. Unfortunately

I'm not feeling so good right now. I'm very tired- mainly because it's late right now. Anyway- I just wanted to give a quick update. Unfortunately things still are chaotic. I'm not sure how much was said about our problems lately- but we managed to solve some things. However- there are two "new" ones that are especially making the chaos worse. The worse part is they're literally "untouchable" (almost ghost-like). We're not sure how to deal with that. They're going around causing wide-spread fear. They don't care who they're targeting- it seems (they aren't just messing with our host- and her friends- like the others). They're going after other troublemakers as well.
Something strange happened the other night. I apparently shared a nightmare with 3 others (Our host was one of them). I should probably say 4- because the one "new" one (I'm not sure what it is even- it's not human) is the one who apparently terrorized us. I rather not say the details of the nightmare (it was that awful). I'll just say- we were jarred awake. It made us sick. We did not want to go back to sleep. We are worried about having another awful nightmare. That's one of the reasons why I'm still awake (even though it's late). I need to go to sleep now however- so hopefully that won't happen again. We know for a fact that "it" caused the nightmare- because "it" taunted us later in the day about it. Anyway- I'm way too tired to write anymore right now.

I do not know what to advise to help you all through the ordeal. But, I'm thinking about you all and keeping you all in my prayers with wishes of getting better soon.

--Zami--

ArbreMonde wrote:I do not know what to advise to help you all through the ordeal. But, I'm thinking about you all and keeping you all in my prayers with wishes of getting better soon.

--Zami--

Thanks Zami! We greatly appreciate it!

Hey, Weirdo, good to see you posting again.

MDs