What kind of experience is this Trigger Warning

I wanted to know what kind of experience this is ****( Trigger Warning mention of self harm)****

So a little bit ago. Maybe a month (and no I haven't talked to my T about it) I keep forgetting. I had this experience where I was looking at my scars on my wrist. I have cut them at least 12 times. Requiring stitches at least 4 times because no one would help me with sleep issues. That's what landed me in a state hospital for 8 months. Anyway, I was looking at them and all of the sudden I get really panicky and start freaking out saying dont dont dont over and over again in my head. I was well aware that I did this to my wrist. I have never not remembered I did this to my wrist. I wasn't planning on cutting myself. So why the heck was I freaking out saying dont dont dont when I was planning to and I have seen those scars before?

The only logical explanation that I can come up with is this is an alter that remembered the experience of cutting and didn't want that to happen again.

Well, that's the only thing it sounds like to me. We've felt panic and repeated words or phrases before too, even though the adult fronting doesn't connect to the anxiety at all themselves. The fronter in such a situation may or may not understand the reason for the anxiety, but it feels clearly like it belongs to someone else.

Thanks for the reply Johnny Jack. Yes I often get random things that dont seem like they come from me. Most of the time they all sound the same in tone. They are my thoughts, they are repetitive in theme. So all that makes me doubt there validity. It doesnt help my psych NP put the thought in my head that it could be some other mental illness and not DID. I try to tell myself he only sees me for 15 minutes every month ( soon to be every other month) but that doesn't always help.