Age slide or a fragment

Ok so we are still pretty new as a self conscious system, Peter and Grace are aware of each other but aren't co-conscious at all. (in fact we have passed out a couple of times as they fight for control of the body.)

I (mo) am co- conscious with grace but grace isn't with me. When peter is up front I am not aware of anything other than the passing of time or if the word "mummy" or "Grace" is said - at which point I become fully conscious and either fake being grace or (if I can find her) hand the fronting over to grace. When I am fronting I can let peter watch without having him take over. though of late our daughter has learnt how to trigger peter (in a good way) and I can't stop him popping out then.

Regardless of how we interact when the 3 of us are doing the mental tango we are aware of who it is we are side stepping for or dancing with.

Lately when I have been trying to get in touch with fear I have been having 2 different styles of response. The first is very shy, meek, highly intelligent (languages) and terrified. If I concentrate too hard she dissaperes. Her handwriting is reasonable (about 10/11 years old cursive) and she is right handed. Her memories are of physical abuse and neglect. she hasn't shown me any of the memories but the fear that emanates from her is a fear of physical "consequences" grace says she appears bruised and skeletaly thin.

Sometimes when I am reaching out to fear I get the "dirty girl" response. This response is powerful overwhelming - almost always toilet related- if it isn't potty training related it is cot related. The phrase "dirty girl" repeats over and over. I lose vision and on more than one occasion she has taken control of the body. Her drawing style and syntax matches potty training age but her handwriting is 6/7 years cursive (i.e. legible, neat but large) other than size it is identical to the older fear but it is left handed.

I know when we were growing up you weren't allowed to be left handed which could account for why the hand being used changes.

"dirty girl" is so narrowly focused without any sense of persona that she doesn't feel a whole person. On the other hand her energy is polar opposite to the meek timid thing that older fear is.

Is this fear sliding between memories and presenting as the age she is remembering or is dirty girl a separate fragment from a trauma that didn't last quite long enough to develop a whole person.

Most importantly how do I help?

Hi Mo,

We've read your post and wanted to send support, although we don't have much to offer except that we know the ups and downs of being left-handed, although we consider ourselves fortunate that we were never forced to change. Surprisingly enough, neither was our late mother, who went to public school in the mid 1940s to late 1950s. One of our two brothers is left-handed and, to our knowledge, was never forced either.

Anyway, we won't dwell on this, lest we run the thread off-topic. We hope you're able to gain some clarity about your fellow insiders as smoothly as possible.

MDs

I guess you help by letting them write and express their feelings, and let them know that you'll help them with those feelings as best you can. I don't think it matters whether it's an age slide or someone separate. You'll know more as you go along.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:I guess you help by letting them write and express their feelings, and let them know that you'll help them with those feelings as best you can. I don't think it matters whether it's an age slide or someone separate. You'll know more as you go along.

Agreed. We have several sliders. We just deal with them as they are in the moment.

MDs

Thanks guys. The contacts are getting more frequent so hopefully that means she/they are starting to feel safer? with any luck they will start talking to T soon.
Mo

I agree with the above, let them write, color, draw, talk, and let them know someone cares about them.

Looking back now, there were insiders we found that were initially hard to distinguish as traits weren't as predictable. Over time they became separate entities with each holding some of the traits. I am not saying this is a split, at least not in present time. My opinion is they were either hidden together and were layered like pages in a book or blended somewhat or were using a similar strategy for safety. (I'm not a Dr. and don't play one on TV, just my perceptions, I welcome additional insight. ) Dinah was much this way. She said she used to be Lou, but something happened and now she is here.

Now that I wrote this, I'm also thinking they may have been impersonating another insider, not maliciously, but for security to "try the waters" a bit when they got to know me.