Mouse Possible **TW**

In my system or part of myself there are different child parts.

Mandy is the only one every really spoken about so far because there's "nothing wrong with her" She was a child part kept away from all abuses and kept as a child at about age 5. Life as an adult and her peeking out unawares lead to her loosing her innocence to a degree in certain areas but she's still pretty much "ok"

Nobody ever mentions Mouse. Mouse is like a horror child. She can be in human form or in mouse form. She is the culmination of all the abuses we suffered from having our cat taken away from us to horrendous sexual abuse. She is the culmination of all that happened to us. She doesn't speak, she's barely human, she has no memories, she lives purely to be abused.

The fragments hold the memories, alot of seperated child parts that hold the memory of one abuse each. They are what caused mouse to be but they are not mouse. Mouse is what we would be if we were made of the abuses - if that makes sense.

I drew mouse, I wanted her acknowledged. And put her picture in the book we have of some drawings. I feel sad talking about mouse. But I need to talk about what makes me sad at the moment.

I'm also sad about Karen regressing. She regressed the other day. But this post should just be about mouse. She has no place in the world and probably shouldn't even exist in a person's psyche but she does exist and she needs aknowledgement. She needs love too.

The mother hated and was terrified of mice. That's why she's mouse it seems to me. Obviously "being a mouse" didn't save us from our sick parents but developed into the culmination of the toll all the abuses we endured would of added up to. Thank you Mouse for holding all these. We will strive to work out what to do to help you. Beth.

Sarandipity wrote:She needs love too.

Sounds like it is tough, but also making a lot of progress. Acknowledgement and thanks is a good start. I like the line above best.

I feel for Mouse. I have acted like that too, carrying everything inside me, for too long. For me, the toughest part was to accept getting help.

You deserve help and love, Mouse. You really do.

--Zami--

I read both your comments and mouse actually said something back inside my mind, she said "mouse can't have that mouse is gross"

Then before I could talk to her about it the bf came down the stairs and mouse took over. I try to talk to him but i so much wanted to hide and with mouse close by I did. She said stay there. And I did, down on the floor under the table. She sat, she said nothing and she kept her eyes down. I said "mouse don't" because I didn't want to seem weird but she said "it's ok" and then thank God he left. I know he's only horrible to me and not any of the others but it sort of makes it worse.

Karen regressed so I don't have her around. No-one is locked up again by the twins because she beat Karen up and Peter is watching the dark entity to make sure it doesn't effect me. I don't know where the others are, not here. It's just me and mouse. I'm gonna finish making us some cake and take us upstairs to do some of Mandy's colouring and try to talk to mouse too. We're not supposed to mention when other alters come up that are "not known" because the bf said "there's too many alters" and he said "he's getting tired of me being different everyday" because I didn't know anything about some electrical cord in the garden and let the rabbit go out there. But there is another alter, Beatrix. I'm saying it idc.

Thanks for the kind words to mouse. And thanks for the support. Beth

Maybe you can start smaller with Mouse. Letting her know she is liked or appreciated.

Dinah (4/yo and thinks she is dead), is afraid of love. So when I say, "I love all of you." I add in, "and I like you" for Dinah.