Content and happy?

What I've realised is these teenage parts are just happy they are away from the abusive parents in our own space. Literally they appreciate that to a level that is incomprehensible unless you've experienced that feeling. I remember that feeling at about age 20 when I first had my own place and I had very little money, no car, no job but I made the most of my surroundings and wasn't down about money or bored because I found alot of really cheap or free stuff to do. They still have that. I had that, or the old outer me had that, I found a list of things I did at that time. I felt really happy and content just to have a roof over my head and enough to eat but I didn't understand why. I put myself through all sorts of courses, esteem courses and educational courses trying to work out why I wasn't like everyone else and wanting success and money and to but stuff because I didn't understand how I could be so happy and content when other people strived for things.

They have this feeling of just happy and content but they know why they're so content. I'm really financially poor at the moment because of being off sick from work - worse in a way than I was when I first left home because now I have a car to pay for and other bills I didn't have back then. I didn't have phone contract for example and now I have two.

They're fragile. Like yesterday the bf was at work. We had an arts and crafts group in the morning. They were happy all day just cleaning and tidying up our bedroom. They listened to our youngest son and his friend play the piano. They listened to the older children happy in their room listening to music and laughing with their friends. They went up and down stairs taking food and drinks in-between tidying up.

Then the bf came home. For some reason earlier that day he thought they were Paul. They don't know why, they wrote it down. Paul is very upfront but the bf usually gets on with him, he doesn't realise this but he does but usually he doesn't realise he's dealing with Paul. Paul recons the bf subconsciously picks up on it, his body language and eye contact changes but he's not conciously aware. The only times he's been told Paul is there is when Paul has had words with him about something eg Beth had a panic attack. Paul didn't like how he dealt with it so he told him. Anyway the bf thought they were Paul, which makes no sense to us at all. When he came back from work he was really mean to them, in their words, He said at one point "go back to whatever darkness you came from" I told him he's talking about his own brain there not mine. And I don't know why he said that. He said he lost something and one of them said "I don't have it" and he got nasty. He hurt their feelings and it zapped all their happiness and motivation right out of them.

They're ok again this morning. But they are fragile. They trust the bf even less now. They still simply happy to be in their own space away from abusers. Except the bf, they think he's abusive now but he's not their parent so they don't care, they know they can walk away from him, they're not trapped with him.