**Trigger Warning** Sexual issues

Floralie wrote:What the hell has being gay and dressing like a woman do with each other? Women's clothing is sexual fetish #1 for straight men. You know, people who are into female stuff, unlike gay guys.

Now if you people are so unaware of actual world you can't tell the difference between gay and a person in pantyhose, it's your problem. Do not throw in names of orientations that don't belong in there, because at least you need to know you know nothing.

I'm not into giving sexual education to you. If one can live up to be an adult and not know even most basic things, it's an active choice to stay ignorant.

Sami

The only time I mentioned anything about "gay" as talking about a few weeks ago when a teen girl mistook my wife and I as a gay couple b/c my wife's short hair and rather unfeminine (by traditional standards, and by HER choice) appearance. Nothing more. PLEASE don't read into that any more than THAT. I wasn't imposing that meaning or wording or titles or whatever in ANY OTHER WAY. That happened... the girl saw us, thought we were two gay men, a couple, and she herself is Bi and struggles with it- and asked us, "as gay men" how we deal as a couple with "being ourselves". That was all...

And I get the "women's clothing fetish" thing... I know it's popular, whatever... It's NOT ME though. It's not a condemnation or judgment... just not MY thing... Again, don't read into it. And, FWIW, I DID NOT LINK THE TWO (gay and dressing up). Clothing does NOT make a person gay, straight, or anything else. However, that doesn't change that I, Zor, have NO INTEREST in wearing girls' clothing. Not even as a "fetish". It's NOT my interest or desire. Period. Not b/c of any perception of being gay or whatever, it just doesn't "excite" me or interest me.

Now, OTHERS in our system DO want those things- the girls especially, but not exclusively. Angel would just as readily wear a skirt as he would pants given the chance. HE IS NOT GAY EITHER. Clothing has NO BEARING on gender identity or sexuality. I agree. I NEVER SAID IT DID. So "defend" all you want- but DON'T read into others words to LOOK for something to defend against. It's unfair to others.

And for the pantyhose thing- that was a MEDICAL reason I had to wear them... I only brought it up to note I HAD worn them and know the feeling (though these were "compression" and thicker and tighter than normal ones- which I've found myself wearing (tights usually) in the past, too- b/c of the girls coming out, dressing up, and vanishing leaving ME dressed as they were). OTHER PEOPLE confused me for being gay or something... but _I_ never confused it... and who cares what they thought?! I didn't. It was a MEDICAL concern at the time, so I was going to wear them anyway... IF the people that confused it as something bothered to ask, they'd be told "they're for medical reasons".

IDK where all that rant came from- but it was entirely misguided and took a ton of assumptions and read way too much into what I had actually said. Please DON'T. I tend to write and think at face value... so what I say on the surface really is generally what I think, without subtext or subtle "between the lines" meaning. I agree, clothing doesn't make one gay or anything else... and you can be whatever regardless of what you wear... THERE IS social stigma and perception out there, a very STRONG anti-feminine look thing for guys in media and culture- men in a skirt or dress are MOCKED MERCILESSLY and it's the butt of jokes in TV and movies, and generally people, too... and many DO NOT understand or care to... I couldn't care less... Wear what you are comfortable in. BUT _I_ am not comfortable in a skirt, dress, girls' shorts, etc... some of the rest of us ARE however, and that's a different matter.

Zor wrote:
Ok, so THIS is a ***TRIGGER WARNING**** cuz of the monster (second) being a girl... that being the "strong" and "not weak, helpless, victim" or whatever... many of the things that appeal as "sexy" are girlish... even personally... there's times HE feels more sexy and appealing dressed feminine, skirts, dresses, tights, etc... some of it is almost certainly us- and we don't know what degree or how much yet, still figuring THAT out... ***censored*** it's a mess...

Zor's NOT GAY, at all... doesn't wanna wear girls' stuff... but our mess of a head and lives all mashed together totally screw with EVERYTHING sex related.

{\Pixie/}

I'm being nice, and took off all stuff that was describing things that lead to her need to inform us you are still not gay. Non of that stuff was gay. It's her view on what gay is, and it's off. Severely off.

You agreed and published. There's nothing I'm reading that isn't there. If you're gonna tell me skirts, shaved legs and gays had nothing in common in your mind, but that gay thing just happened to jump in there in the middle of your gender talk, you're lying.

Sami

Floralie wrote:

Zor wrote:
Ok, so THIS is a ***TRIGGER WARNING**** cuz of the monster (second) being a girl... that being the "strong" and "not weak, helpless, victim" or whatever... many of the things that appeal as "sexy" are girlish... even personally... there's times HE feels more sexy and appealing dressed feminine, skirts, dresses, tights, etc... some of it is almost certainly us- and we don't know what degree or how much yet, still figuring THAT out... ***censored*** it's a mess...

Zor's NOT GAY, at all... doesn't wanna wear girls' stuff... but our mess of a head and lives all mashed together totally screw with EVERYTHING sex related.

{\Pixie/}

I'm being nice, and took off all stuff that was describing things that lead to her need to inform us you are still not gay. Non of that stuff was gay. It's her view on what gay is, and it's off. Severely off.

You agreed and published. There's nothing I'm reading that isn't there. If you're gonna tell me skirts, shaved legs and gays had nothing in common in your mind, but that gay thing just happened to jump in there in the middle of your gender talk, you're lying.

Sami

So first of all, I think Zor thought you were commenting to HIS posts not mine.

And for the record I didn’t mean to imply that at all or for ppl to like take it that way. It was how OTHERS see that stuff I made sure to comment the way I did and to note two DIFF things- the influence from us which includes clothing and cute boys and such (like Brandon Urie- total hottie), and that those are US, not Zor… it was a note to differentiate our desires and influence and his desires… nothing more

{\Pixie/}

Just to say the two teen girls were here on and off all day. They started to write but all this negativity put them off.

They were trying to say something like: they felt lied to that they don't "have" to do anything. That frightened them. That's not their experience of the world. They are quite happy in many ways, they have issues around men and are frightened of women. In the house they are very motivated and got alot of stuff done I'd been putting off. I had to do housework from young and it's something I grew to enjoy. Adult parts have been very down and demotivated but they aren't. It seems at home and when alone they feel relatively safe. So they were in and out today and it felt good.

With the shaved legs thing I remember this guy at school, really masculine, who shaved his legs for sports purposes or when playing rugby (like American Football but less clothes and pads) he would oil his shaven legs so other players couldn't grab on easily to him. He was mocked but he didn't care because it made him a better player. I think though in recent times men grooming their hair more has become quite fashionable so maybe, just maybe, you could get away with having smooth legs

I'm sorry to hear that. I do hope they feel up to posting in the future.

I think it would be good to work with your BF to reinforce that they don’t have to do anything. In SF’s system, Meg wants a platonic relationship, but really appreciates hugs. Many of the littles, middles, teens, and adults like to be held/cuddled sometimes. They let me know who is out and we keep it to that. Others are asexual and we get along fine. Even with the ones that enjoy intimacy, I make it a point to let them know that yes I want to, but we don’t have to if they aren’t into it. They are that important and for more than just the sexual things.

The biggest difficulty we have had has been with D. D. is SF's first (and so far only) male. He is quite hostile to me (and most of the other insiders). Especially difficult if he comes out (rare) while I am cuddling or more with someone else. He does not want to be touched at all and will shove me away!

Having an insider with the opposite gender of the body has definitely complicated things sexually. Things have gotten better, but we are still learning how to co-exist…

Sarandipity wrote:Just to say the two teen girls were here on and off all day. They started to write but all this negativity put them off.

They were trying to say something like: they felt lied to that they don't "have" to do anything. That frightened them. That's not their experience of the world. They are quite happy in many ways, they have issues around men and are frightened of women. In the house they are very motivated and got alot of stuff done I'd been putting off. I had to do housework from young and it's something I grew to enjoy. Adult parts have been very down and demotivated but they aren't. It seems at home and when alone they feel relatively safe. So they were in and out today and it felt good.

With the shaved legs thing I remember this guy at school, really masculine, who shaved his legs for sports purposes or when playing rugby (like American Football but less clothes and pads) he would oil his shaven legs so other players couldn't grab on easily to him. He was mocked but he didn't care because it made him a better player. I think though in recent times men grooming their hair more has become quite fashionable so maybe, just maybe, you could get away with having smooth legs

So sorry they feel they can’t chat here and al the negativity.
Hopefully that will change and they can take part, maybe other threads.

{\Pixie/}

Hi Pixie, thanks. (Me - gonna call myself something like Obsidian not decided)

We're writing in a book instead. Then people can't write weird stuff. Then it doesn't set off the twins who write even weirder stuff about attack helicopters and then we won't go mad. Lucy and Alice.

The twins are "fine" on the internet in that they do not care what people say, will say what they want and don't care if they get banned from sites. The problem is that too much of them coming forward causes all of us major problems. (Me)

Sarandipity wrote:Hi Pixie, thanks. (Me - gonna call myself something like Obsidian not decided)

Obsidian's a cool name.

MDs

I like it to! I have ann obsidian stone here, beautiful color.

Sarandipity wrote:Hi Pixie, thanks. (Me - gonna call myself something like Obsidian not decided)

We're writing in a book instead. Then people can't write weird stuff. Then it doesn't set off the twins who write even weirder stuff about attack helicopters and then we won't go mad. Lucy and Alice.

The twins are "fine" on the internet in that they do not care what people say, will say what they want and don't care if they get banned from sites. The problem is that too much of them coming forward causes all of us major problems. (Me)

Obsidian is super pretty too!

{\Pixie/}