Being accused of lying about being sick

Hello everybody:

Short version: my boss has now accused me of faking being sick multiple times. All of my coworkers are also thinking that I‘m a liar. How do I deal with this?

Long Version: About a month and a half ago I fell down the stairs at work and tore some tendons in my left foot. I couldn‘t walk for a week and therefore wasn‘t allowed to work for that week. My boss/supervisor then wrote me an angry sms saying that he doesn‘t believe I can‘t walk (eventhough he had received multiple doctors notes), that I should just quit if I don‘t like working but that it isn‘t fair to my coworkers, if I can relax at home while they are working. I had replied to that message by saying that he has received a doctors note and that I am hurt to be accused of such a big lie. To this he shallowly apologized „yeah sorry i just needed to make sure because of the insurance...“. I decided to quit then, because I don‘t want to keep working in such a toxic environment. I worked yesterday (not for the first time since the incident, I have already worked many times since then) and everything seemed fine. I decided to not talk to my supervisor about his accusations as I‘m leaving anyway and it‘s not worth the trouble (it takes me a LOT of energy to talk to superiors, especially when there is a problem in out relationship.
At work yesterday I asked a few coworkers if they could switch shifts with me on sunday (tomorrow), as I am invited for fancy dinner (we switch shifts like this all the time, so I didn‘t think it would be a problem.
Well this morning I woke up with a bad migraine and knew I couldn‘t come into work today. I called my workplace and told them what‘s up (standard protocol). Half an hour later I get a very angry text message from my supervisor, saying that I have to send him a doctors note within 2 hours, otherwise I have to come into work today. He also said that it‘s pathetic that I just fake illness when nobody wants to switch shifts with me. He flatout accused me of lying about having a migraine.
I responded with something like this: I‘m sorry but this is enough. I will go to the doctors for you, if you insist, but I am sick of being accused of lying. Don‘t you think that falling down the stairs and having a migraine might not be fun for me? Why would I want to fake anything like thath?

I then went to the doctors (not MY doctor as she doesn‘t work on saturdays, so it‘s a doctor that doesn‘t even know me that has decided that YES i do indeed have a migraine), got a doctors note and sent it to my supervisor. He then sent me another message saying: „your coworker and I already said yesterday that you wouldn‘t come in today“.

How am I supposed to deal with this situation? I mean, does he want applause for realizing yesterday, that I am not in a good physical place? My coworkers now apparently also think I am faking it and I am terrified of going into work tomorrow. I will also have to talk to my supervisor tomorrow so I don‘t know how I should act. Does anybody have any tips or experience in such a situation?

Hi lartiste,

I know its easier said than done but we just wouldn't go. Quit. Find a job with people who actually have empathy and other human qualities.

That sorta situation... it sounds to us like they're just gonna keep poking and probably looking for an excuse to fire you. I mean if you wanna tough it out and force their hand, but we're nonconfrontational so we'd just leave. Cos in the end if they wanna get rid of you they'll just keep at it.

Like you said. It's a toxic environment and you don't wanna keep working there.

###$ them. You deserve better.

Mike & V2

I can't give you advice on the job situation.

but didn't you say you fell on purpose? as an act of self-harm to meet other needs in the system?
is it possible you/parts of you sabotage your health for some reason?
maybe the main question is not what your co-workers believe about you.
the main problem might be what is going on inside.
Sometimes other people see glimpses of parts showing through and if part of you planned this they might have been noticed.

You don't have to talk with them, you can write. You can say you only discuss about this in writing, because you want to keep it all official and documented, because you have found their behavior before intimidating. Record your phone calls and what you talk, if there's talking face to face involved. Inform them you're thinking to make this official, so they can think how they talk to you in future.

Where we live in, it's NOT legal for supervisor to talk about anyone's health issues with co-workers. That is against the law. We have unions to inform about things like that, and they take care of the rest, give advice what to do and they have layers etc. from their side if needed. I'd report that person and work place without even thinking about it.

The thing coworkers and supervisor have done is called bullying. It's against the law to bully someone at work too. Also a thing to report, unions are for these things.

And we'd leave of course. Removing abusive people from our life does not mean we will not defend ourselves and make them understand it's not a way to behave. They will regret they underestimated us.

Maybe print out the parts of law that are important in this case, and simply hand them over. You don't have to say anything. It's just to remind, if asked.

We'd simply give information above to supervisor, all the illegal stuff that has happened. Would also ask with who were they talking about your personal stuff again. Make sure it's reported informatively, don't lower yourself on their level. And then take the apologies. Then we'd report them anyway, because it makes the likelihood for it to happen to other people in there lower. Would also inform this in writing for them after we've left the place.

Let's start with facts again: they don't like you there, what ever you do. So that's the point where we start from anyway. There can be two reasons they will not like you in future: because they are bullies and that's what bullies do, talk $#%^, or because you didn't let them bully you, and it makes them even more mad, but they can not say anything to you about it. I'd choose the second one.

It's easy to be right when you're right, and honesty is your weapon. Don't underestimate the position you are in, you have all power in your hands now. They handed it to you. Call the union. If you live in some #######5 place with no supervising, move away, there's better world in here.

Sami & Floralie

WOW! Even with medical documentation?!

Yeah, if at all possible... QUIT. Find something else ASAP and just get away from that place.

Sorry you're like going through that kinda thing! No one deserves that!

{\Pixie/}

Hi,

Sorry this is going on. Sucks!

I think we need Becabee to weigh in on this. She's done a lot of work stuff really well.

Iain

We would quit. As someone mentioned earlier, it's illegal for a supervisor to discuss protected medical info with co-workers, at least here in the US. If your country has similar laws, well, that's at least one strike against your supervisor.

No matter how or why your injury occurred, your supervisor's behavior is still inappropriate.

Good luck,

MDs

Thank you all for replying. I have quit the jobs a couple of weeks ago, I just need to work there 7 more times until my contract is finally over and I move on to another job (still in customer service but I hope that Work won't be so exhausting anymore if the situation with coworkers improves) thank you all, reading your replies made me feel stronger and more couragous to deal with work the following day, eventhough I did nothing but cry during my lunch break, I still made it through the day so I'm counting it as a win.

birdsong87 wrote:I can't give you advice on the job situation.

but didn't you say you fell on purpose? as an act of self-harm to meet other needs in the system?
is it possible you/parts of you sabotage your health for some reason?
maybe the main question is not what your co-workers believe about you.
the main problem might be what is going on inside.
Sometimes other people see glimpses of parts showing through and if part of you planned this they might have been noticed.

Thank you for this thought. I need to discuss this possibility with my T and the others, I haven't thought about the possibility of the migraines coming from "inside" / a headmate before...

Floralie wrote:.

It's easy to be right when you're right, and honesty is your weapon. Don't underestimate the position you are in, you have all power in your hands now. They handed it to you. Call the union. If you live in some #######5 place with no supervising, move away, there's better world in here.

Sami & Floralie

we sadly don't have any kind of internal communications guy, whether that be a secretary or a supervisor, if we have a problem with someone that's it. no meetings ever. no wonder everybody quits their job with this company after a year

If you are in the United States, your first call should be to the local Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) to find out your legal rights and how to protect your rights. Your next call may be to a local attorney who represents workers in situations like this.