Multi-faceted & semi-precious.

Hi Viola,

It reminds me some time ago when none of your team could focus on work because of something placed among the work stuff, that was triggering for one of you. If it is because of that, hiding the thing would make focusing on work easier, wouldnt it?

Good luck!

--Zami--

Thank you Zami,

I may be wrong, but I suspect the problem Viola is having is that we are approaching our busiest time of the year, working on a very large annual project. From now until the end of February, work will be busier and busier, and more and more stressful. I believe Viola is starting to feel the pressure already, and probably lacks the maturity to handle the situation.

Last year, Arin handled the project with V2's help. The year before, it was V1, also with V2 helping. It's always been 'adult' parts who have had the responsibility in the past. Which may put the burden on me this year, as I'm the only 'adult' who's available to front right now. However, this sort of thing is a long way outside my experience or capability.

A little over an hour ago Viola gave up on work and got out the catnip, had some fun with the housecats, then went inside to rest. If she hasn't come back in another hour or two, then I'll try to deal with the work myself, I suppose.

Em

I met our T today finally. The first few minutes we talked about what happened on Wednesday when she had to last-minute cancel. She was concerned about how we felt, how we handled the situation. I explained about being upset and disappointed, and I also told her about the revelation it led to, that other people can't just "turn off" being sick.

Then I went through the list I had made the other day, with a few requests for her and a couple questions. That went fairly well. She said she will try to do what we asked. We'll see how that plays out over the next few sessions.

My questions sort of led to a discussion of how to help the most troubled of us inside, and how it may lead to changes in our system as there would be less need for the strong dissociative barriers. Which in turn led to some talk about the recent changes that have happened in our system.

In all, I think it was a fairly positive experience. We'll see though. I'm not sure if I'll go again next week, right now its more likely Viola will handle it again and I'll just watch from inside.

Em

I know it doesn't solve anything, but I noticed how well you were managing all of this.
Expressing how you felt about the situation and also expressing needs by making requests.
that is stuff we mostly can't. I hope it cheers you up to hear that you did a good job there.

Wow, thank you birdsong! We really appreciate that.

team Amythyst

So... I'm super excited & happy about something. Its not really a DID thing I guess, so sorry if its like off topic.

Last week Em made me start writing finally, cos I've been wanting like a creative hobby or whatever for a long time, and writing is like, a thing we can do that doesn't cost any money, and you can kinda do it just whenever? And I guess I'm ok at coming up with stories & stuff?

Like I don't think I wanna do writing for a living, cos its actually kinda tough work & stuff, but as a fun hobby or whatever, it's ok.

Anyways, so I had this little story I came up with a couple months ago, & Em made me finally write it down. It's total fiction, sorta little magical story kinda thing, in a certain kinda genre I guess.

It's not quite done yet but this morning I posted the 1st chapter (anonymously) on a site where I guess other amature writers can share stories in the same genre.

I just checked before we go to bed, & there's 6 reviews, & they're all 5-stars! People like it & they're excited to see what happens next!

It just, made me super happy & I guess a little proud.

Viola

That's great, Viola!!

Thank you Gang.

Viola is still very excited about her story. She shared the first chapter with our best friend yesterday, who is also a writer, and our friend really enjoyed it too and is eager to read more.

Viola was also amused by another review she received - a reader noticed one character's dialog and mannerisms seemed to change from one section to another, and said it felt like they were two different characters. In fact, the truth was that I had helped Viola with one of the sections where she had trouble, and someone was perceptive enough to notice the difference between how Viola wrote the character, and how I did. It wasn't the character that had changed, but the 'author'!

----

Yesterday we had an awful day with work stuff. There have been a few mistakes we've made over the past 2 months, which come down to our inability to perceive time correctly. It makes work increasingly difficult for Viola because the fallout from even 'small' mistakes can last for weeks or months, which in turn adds to her stress, and makes the dissociation & depersonalization worse, and can lead to still more mistakes.

The situation yesterday was, a customer had placed a custom order weeks ago, we'd sent them a quote & were waiting for their approval... apparently they never received our quote & assumed the order was in production. Yesterday they wanted to know why it hadn't be delivered yet, when it hadn't even gone into production. Viola knew she was waiting for them to approve the price, but didn't know it had been weeks that she was waiting. It felt like 'a day or two', which is normally all it ever takes, so nothing felt abnormal about this situation.

We have routines & systems in place to make sure we don't forget orders completely, but nothing to catch this particular situation, as it hasn't happened before. Now it has, we'll try to come up with a way to ensure it doesn't happen again.

We might lose this customer because of the problems. And we're still trying to fix a problem from last month, that also came from 'not knowing how time works' as she puts it.

Viola is feeling more and more concerned about her ability to do our work. She feels she can work better in situations where there is less responsibility, where someone else is in charge. She can do the aspects of our work that are straightforward - here's a job, go do it - but she is much less confident or comfortable with things that require her to make decisions and be 'proactive'.

This might have to be the topic today when we see our T.

Em

Unrelated to the work issues:

Last night we revisited what we are now thinking of as the 'House of our mind'. We originally described it in this post: dissociative-identity/topic214110-280.html#p2253245

In our dream last night we did not venture to the upper floors, but we began work repairing and renovating the second floor. I'm not sure about the symbolism, but presumably it is an indication of some sort of healing or improvement going on inside.

Em

So despite all the stress and work problems this week, got a couple positive things outta the week too.

1st, a couple nights ago I heard someone inside ask like, "Are we really sure this is DID?" like as if there was gonna be some kinda denial or self-doubt thing starting up? But then someone else inside goes, "What else could it be? DID is the only thing that makes sense." And like, that was it. No freak-out, no denial spiral.

It took me another day or two to realize that was like, the most positive & affirming kinda response we've had when those thots of self-doubt happen. Like, it just made me feel good, thinking that like, folks inside are looking out for each other & being supportive & stuff.

2nd thing was yesterday.

We had to go visit the mother again. She needed us to do some stuff around the house for her & she wanted to do go do an errand but it was something she was nervous about & wanted like moral support or whatever. So anyways, we were visiting and just kinda having a talk with her about stuff & whatever.

So then at one point she says something really negative about our piercings. She does it time to time, cos she doesn't like them, so she's gotta say something #######5 about them & whatever. So this time, Em slips out and just tells her, "The Violets really enjoy their piercings. Its one of the few things that they get excited about, & it makes them upset when you $#%^ all over the thing they really like."

Like, Em wasn't loud or nasty or whatever? Just calm & level tone & stuff. So she told the mother what she was doing was hurtful, & asked her to stop doing it. You know, like, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all? That kinda thing.

And the mother actually apologized, & said she'd try not to do it any more!

It's like, maybe thats 'normal adult human intraction' or whatever for most people but it felt like a big breakthrough for us, lol.

Oh - and I'm still doing my writing! Its getting abit hard, like its hard work, but its still alot of fun & I'm super happy cos I'm getting alot of positive feedback & stuff. Got 3 chapters published, over 20,000 words. Its been read like 6 thousand times, and got a 5-star rating. Lots of reviews, people saying they love it, can't wait for more, & stuff. Makes me feel kinda excited & giddy, lol.

Viola