Accused of Being Demon Possessed

Floralie wrote:Well now you're abandoned, thing we all knew beforehand. Do you still feel it was better not to make it on YOUR terms but by submissiveness?

My ways were not more than what was needed, yours are way too passive. I'm into boundaries, male hierarchies are not complicated. There's leaders and those who follow. Now the followers listen to B, and you didn't even challenge his ways. In other words, you didn't give yourself a chance to win. I can not understand why, or why your T agrees with such stupidity. If you didn't get these things are about hierarchies, you're a slow learner.

I'd still show our boundary, at least one of the hypocrites is gonna be there anyway, because the wifey is not on your side either. She's a follower to B as well, instead of you. You don't wanna acknowledge how big crime against you that one is, but now is a good time to open your eyes.

Don't let other people decide how your life is, by passively watching what they'll do with it.

Can see you're getting angry. Great.

Sami

I think, honestly, it's better they do go away... until they can get this nonsense out of their heads and actually show they REALLY care about us.

This was a study S started, that we hosted, and was S, B, my wife and I. No one else anyway. B had already run off another friend that been involved, and before that they (S & B) had caused a couple (from the church they tried to take over as leaders of) to leave.

Given the friendship between B & my wife, we HAD to be careful and let THEM make the move- also b/c it was a trap B had set. He said very plainly, "Demons WILL try and move to isolate you. They will make you act to do that." Had WE made that move, he would have been quick and loud to point out "see, I told you so!" to my wife and anyone that would listen.
He can try and claim that still, sure... but HE made that move to "isolate" us... HE is behind that.

The T believes that if we got aggressive in pushing back it would only make B & S more likely to dig in on it, to fight that much harder about it... NOT change their minds, since they're NOT thinking about it but going off bad info online and feelings alone anyway.
AND given that my wife was lending an ear in false hope of a "quick fix", it would only serve to isolate me/us... AND also, it'd play into B's trap- he was careful to say specific things that would, if I did that, "prove" him right. He said they (demons) would "lash out" at people I care for, that they'd "be aggressive in defending their power", that they'd be impatient, and that THEY would do things (or make ME do them) to isolate me from others.

We did EXACTLY the opposite. We took time and carefully showed thought and prayer were our process. We communicated that rationally and calmly. We did NOT engage in aggressive behavior, nor try and isolate (worked to AVOID that)... basically EVERYTHING he said was "a sure thing" for a "demon" was refuted in NOT doing that, thus weakening HIS claims and position.
More importantly, it afforded time to let them come to their senses- even though they ultimately did NOT.

At this point... I don't really care what they do or think. THEY are choosing to isolate away, NOT us. They are not going to be around much at all (I doubt we'll see S at all- almost never did aside from Tuesdays, which were erratic at best for the past 6 months or so).

Floralie wrote:I'd still show our boundary, at least one of the hypocrites is gonna be there anyway, because the wifey is not on your side either. She's a follower to B as well, instead of you. You don't wanna acknowledge how big crime against you that one is, but now is a good time to open your eyes.

Don't let other people decide how your life is, by passively watching what they'll do with it.

Can see you're getting angry. Great.

Sami

So we've got a good opportunity this week. We were going to go to a convention this coming weekend but it was cancelled... so my wife is keeping Wed/Thurs nights off- so we'll have all day at least 1-1.5 days MORE than we'd normally have in a given week...

My plan is to take some time one of these days or evenings when we're not doing any of the hundred things to get done around the house to talk to her about this - to explain why B was wrong, both from Biblical and Logical perspectives (b/c he IS wrong in BOTH, and I can demonstrate that).

The other night she came out and saw me cleaning dishes I'd used to make dinner as it was baking and I was jamming on Spotify on my earbuds (several of us LOVE to do that) and when it came up it was 80's pop (Rock the Casbah at that moment), she asked "Who likes that?" thinking it was possibly more likely someone other than ME that chose that genre. The question wasn't hostile, sharply spoken, or anything- just curiosity. So I HOPE that maybe being calm, rational, and us acting entirely OPPOSITE of what B said has made her question the claims...

That remains to be seen... but for the first time in about a year and a half, I FINALLY have a general sense of my life story and what events likely caused certain alters to appear... Not that this means it's resolved, it's just a theory, and even if true, it's only a start towards understanding it... Still need to resolve the issue that it caused inside for me/us... and THEN work from there with the various parts to see what we want to do about it, about going forward.

At this point, slightly off topic here- we're not sure we're pushing for integration as our "endgame" goal. Right now, it's more likely to be cooperative coexistence- hopefully with at least a functional level of co-consciousness so there's less mystery, surprise, and gaps in awareness and time. But even that, we're aware, could be a long time off.

But we HOPE this week will afford time for that conversation and we can use "you know B is wrong, and here's why... and THIS is why logically, and how X and Y are with me... and we're working on it... and what that entails is..."

It's a hope at least.

BUT, for now... the "demon" accusation people are the ones choosing to go away... I am ok with that.
Am I angry? For causing this stress, pain, and "drama"? Yes... but I was more hurt that one claiming to be a friend and supportive would be the one to think this after all this time... ESPECIALLY b/c of, in his words "I've been doing a lot of reading online..." >:(

Zor, good work! Carry on.

This is very triggering. It would be worse if someone said it to me than reading your horrible experience. Sorry to read someone said this to you.

It'd be triggering on a couple of levels. Firstly I have spiritual parts of different faiths who have considered this as a possibility, I don't think they realise that'd mean they're technically possibly demons themselves. Then I have other darker parts who use things like this to create massive confusion and internal fear that'd cause complete breakdown.

I think you handled really well from reading this thread. I would probably have to laugh at them, because to acknowledge it would of been too triggering to me. Getting into a discussion over it would be awful but still I read this and had to reply.

I've noticed parts of me use metaphors to communicate and something they often say is "we've all been to Hell" Realising it's a metaphor makes it understandable but before when I didn't realise they were metaphors it was awful.

I recently was in hospital and in going over past notes with a psychiatrist that were made about 5 years ago I said "I'm being cut up and put into boxes" At the time that's how I felt, I kept saying it, I had this massive and very real fear of "being cut up again and put into boxes" When I read it the other day I realised it was a metaphor. I didn't tell them this time what was going on in my head because they give me antipsychotic drugs but this time I kept thinking "I've pushed a button and blown up the whole world" which obviously I hadn't because the world is still here, so I again felt crazy with somebody keep saying that and because they'd "blown up the world" they felt they had to stay in the house, they were frightened and confused. What they were referring to was calling the police and making an allegation of abuse. At the time I didn't realise that, I took it literally and kept trying to talk myself out of this delusional idea that I'd "blown up the world" When I read the notes from 5 years ago and realised it was a metaphor a couple of days later I realised the latest delusional idea was a metaphor too. If I'd said it to a psychiatrist "I've blown up the world. It's all my fault. Everything is destroyed. I don't understand how everything is still carrying on (because that part of me didn't)" then I would of most definitely been more encouraged to take antipsychotics.

So "we've all been through hell" is a metaphor and just because someone goes through hell it doesn't make them a demon.

Sarandipity wrote:This is very triggering. It would be worse if someone said it to me than reading your horrible experience. Sorry to read someone said this to you.

It was crazy... I had to really work to keep Pixie back that night- but considering he'd played with emotions and WANTED a fight, it was smarter NOT to play his game.

Sarandipity wrote:It'd be triggering on a couple of levels. Firstly I have spiritual parts of different faiths who have considered this as a possibility, I don't think they realise that'd mean they're technically possibly demons themselves. Then I have other darker parts who use things like this to create massive confusion and internal fear that'd cause complete breakdown.

We have very spiritual parts, too- Orthodox Judaism, Orthodox-like Messianic Judaism, somewhere between in "Hebrew Roots", non-denomination Christian, Roman Catholic. So this was something that HAD been a battle inside already for us- for me, too, when I first found out about all this... about them.
To have gone through it already, and gotten past those fears, only to have someone throw it up in our faces - when we're not yet "stable" and totally functional as a system in a manageable way- was very alarming and hurtful. Very frightening, too.

Sarandipity wrote:I think you handled really well from reading this thread. I would probably have to laugh at them, because to acknowledge it would of been too triggering to me. Getting into a discussion over it would be awful but still I read this and had to reply.

Thanks. It was very difficult. We'll see where it goes from here.

Sarandipity wrote:I've noticed parts of me use metaphors to communicate and something they often say is "we've all been to Hell" Realising it's a metaphor makes it understandable but before when I didn't realise they were metaphors it was awful.

I recently was in hospital and in going over past notes with a psychiatrist that were made about 5 years ago I said "I'm being cut up and put into boxes" At the time that's how I felt, I kept saying it, I had this massive and very real fear of "being cut up again and put into boxes" When I read it the other day I realised it was a metaphor. I didn't tell them this time what was going on in my head because they give me antipsychotic drugs but this time I kept thinking "I've pushed a button and blown up the whole world" which obviously I hadn't because the world is still here, so I again felt crazy with somebody keep saying that and because they'd "blown up the world" they felt they had to stay in the house, they were frightened and confused. What they were referring to was calling the police and making an allegation of abuse. At the time I didn't realise that, I took it literally and kept trying to talk myself out of this delusional idea that I'd "blown up the world" When I read the notes from 5 years ago and realised it was a metaphor a couple of days later I realised the latest delusional idea was a metaphor too. If I'd said it to a psychiatrist "I've blown up the world. It's all my fault. Everything is destroyed. I don't understand how everything is still carrying on (because that part of me didn't)" then I would of most definitely been more encouraged to take antipsychotics.

So "we've all been through hell" is a metaphor and just because someone goes through hell it doesn't make them a demon.

That is true, and while not ALL of us had dire trauma incidents, there was various pressure and all sorts of negativity stemming from the lack of safety and comfort the initial trauma caused, and some bad things in general that got internalized oddly (not so odd for DID stuff, I'm told)... and, well, it is what it is... and at times it felt like hell. I agree the metaphor is appropriate - we know the feeling.

So an update... this afternoon S texted me... It's been a full week (to the day) that B last had any contact... my last reply to him has gone without an answer.

S wrote "Hey man how's it going haven't talked in a while"

I replied "I am doing alright. How are y'all doing? Still rotating to odd work hours every few weeks?"
That last part I added to remark about his constant skipping the Tuesday studies (which are now cancelled indefinitely, b/c of he and B). Since that is largely WHY he hasn't talked to us in a while, HE hasn't been around...

I'm mostly certain that he was NOT but used it as an excuse many times to NOT come over. Basically that many weeks this "last minute work change" was a lie... I can't prove it and don't KNOW it is, but I have my suspicions.

**

So the reply was more or less just a brushing off my remarks, "not rotating, just trying to get stuff done" kind of deal...

I have little interest in drawing out things...

If S wants to say something or has something he feels he needs to, he KNOWS how to communicate. Not going to engage in all this worthless small talk (IF it even qualifies as that). Not worth my time.

Lots of folks out there can't deal with the way we are. They pressure us to be like them. Accusing us of being crazy or demons or other sh*t is because they can't handle reality. Hate it when they do that to our face. But it's their sh*t not ours. This isn't about you Zor. Just a couple of weak people needing power and willing to hurt people to get it. An old story. Nothing wrong with you guys.

Stay strong.

Colin

There's like a blast radius around people who end up alone after they run everybody off. They kind of blow up and do crazy stuff. Don't be standing too close ok? They try to take you down with them.

Iain