What do you think of my T?

Lizisace, would you be comfortable explaining a little more about the no progress during the first 9 months? For example, how do you define progress? Did you talk to your T about what you would consider progress, what your goals are?

I suppose if you had asked before to do whatever she needed to get alters to front, that would at least align with your stated goals. If you had no such agreement, her actions were pretty opposite of what's recommended for treating trauma.

9 months of no progress actually stood out for me more than what sounds like clumsy, manipulative, aggressive choices. I'd recommend moving on from that alone.

A test for me would be, if you decide to meet again (up to you!), whether she apologizes or not when you describe how specific choices she made were upsetting, frightening, etc. An ethical, mature T will apologize for mistakes, even if completely unintentional ones (like wearing red before you tell her that's a trigger for you). And they will promise (or promise to try) not to repeat them.

This is a fundamental part of any therapeutic relationship. Heck, it's fundamental to any relationship in life. An apology wouldn't suggest you should continue working with her, but it would be nice. My T apologzes every one or two sessions, they're simple but indicate she gets it.

Labeling your response as "avoidant behavior' was also manipulative and felt like a power play to me while reading it.

Johnny-Jack wrote:An ethical, mature T will apologize for mistakes, even if completely unintentional ones (like wearing red before you tell her that's a trigger for you). And they will promise (or promise to try) not to repeat them.

I agree with what Johnny-Jack said and wanted to emphasize the above. My T also apologizes for something almost every session because his main concern is the impact on my feelings, not on who is "right" or "wrong" about something. He is sorry for or about anything that causes upset or distress in me, (whether or not he caused it, but he is more sorry if he caused it).

Wow! Never heard of this. My current T may ask to speak to someone specific to continue a discussion or ask a question. He follows it with *if that's ok with her/him*. Sometimes the answer is no. T has a chair with wheels that allows a little movement without standing, moving toward us etc. Gee, I think our protectors would be all over her. Never..& we've had several, has a T *forced* one out or in for that matter. Well, she knows what will happen if she trys it again with you! Think you had a totally normal response.

Come to think of it my T moved forward in her chair without asking a couple weeks ago. A young alter fronted during work on a traumatic memory but he was so scared and quiet she couldn't hear him. She moved forward to listen. When he looked up, she sat back, then when he'd finished she apologized, explained that she was trying to hear him, and offered to move back.

This was, in my mind, the way for a T to handle encroaching on a client's space, with care and respect. I doubt there's a high percentage of persons with DID who don't get triggered by people encroaching on our personal space. It depends on the circumstances, of course, but personal space for us holds a minefield of triggers.

KingsleyHere wrote:My current T may ask to speak to someone specific to continue a discussion or ask a question. He follows it with *if that's ok with her/him*. Sometimes the answer is no.

Our T will say stuff like "Pixie, if you're there/are listening..." or "this is for Pixie" or even asked to talk to me once... but he never like pushes it... and if Zor doesn't know if I am there or not, he'll ask Zor to write it in our journal and/or tell me whatever it is he wants to tell me.

It's respectful and cooperative. I can't even imagine how I'd react if it wasn't.

{\Pixie/}