Ending therapy?

So, I have now seen the support worker four times.
The first three were about getting to know her and begin working out how to spend the time. At first it seemed to go well but it was a total disaster this time. I was scared of her, as I always am when I first see her but the noise in my head from the constant talking of the others was overwhelming. Apart from my T, she is the only other person who knows about the DID and it makes the others very hard to control. Its usually others wanting to come out and they are interested in speaking to her or wanting to play or whatever but not this time.
This time it was all the horrible ones. They were being foul about her, planning what they were going to say and I couldn't relax or calm down. I tried to talk to her and tell her what was going on, remind her about the issues I have relating to other people but I didn't feel she understood properly. She didn't respond to me like my T would and she didn't take any notice of the horrible one that comes out to warn about the effect they are having on me and to back off.
I have been left feeling totally humiliated and like I made a complete fool of myself. I am speaking to my T tomorrow so I hope that will help.

That sounds really difficult. Is it possible that things were not nearly as obvious to her as they were to you? Did she seem put off or upset about what happened, or did she just seem to ignore it? If she ignored it, then everything is probably fine with her. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.

If protectors are getting involved, then maybe they're worried that the relationship was going too smoothy and maybe that littles were getting attached or something. It sounds like a protective response on their part.

Does your T communicate with the support worker? If so, then after you talk with the T tomorrow, perhaps she can explain things to the support worker if seems like that will be helpful.

It's a big deal to have another person who knows about the DID, so it would make sense that there's a lot going on internally. Can you let everyone journal about their feelings so that you know more about what's going on?

Hi GangsAllHere - as always you make some really good points and raise some interesting questions.
On reflection, I really don't know what she was thinking - what she noticed or what she didn't. I think she might have been standing back rather than getting it wrong, I don't know.
I think you are right that some of the others felt worried that it was all going ok and decided to put a stop to it. I also think that this was the fourth time I saw her and its at this point that I usually run out of steam with a new relationship - it goes from being very surface to being a little more familiar and I just don't navigate this well.
I spoke to my T last night and told her all about it. She is going to call the support worker and talk to her again about it all. My T is very keen that I don't drop this and persevere, and I will for a bit, but I am worried about it. Apparently, the support worker said in an email to her that it had been a very difficult day and my T said she thought the support worker had found it difficult, not just me.
I am seeing her again in a couple of weeks so I will let you know how it goes.

It’s been a really long time since i last posted and reading the last few things i did post, it was at a time of transition from a longstanding therapist. I look back on that time and still have not really got over the upheaval as it shook me to my core.
After my longest standing T, i moved to another who was not right for me. She didn’t know enough about DID and i could see that some of the others worried her. I left her after a couple of years and went without for quite a while. Eventually, symptoms were returning and i was beginning to worry about my eating, sleeping and general wellbeing. I had also moved jobs to something easier and more flexible so i found my new T.
She has been very good but my issues with trust and with embracing the DID has not gone away. I like her a lot and it’s very different from the first one, mostly in a good way.
Life has become more settled over time . The massive downs and depression i used to have, along with big memory gaps and trouble being present are better, albeit but not resolved. I still live much as i did - really quite isolated and away from others - but less so. I feel life is more balanced, but with more progress needing to be made. I am getting on a bit now and I would love to be able to experience some peaceful, uneventful years and just enjoy life without all the DID issues.
Its nice to see some of the same names still around. The Gangs all Here was really supportive and i am pleased to read that she is also making progress.
I think i shall lurk for a bit!

oh Jolly Jo this sounds kind of amazing!!

like I know it's not amazing, all the time. ever. but I am really hearing some positive changes and a hopeful outlook.

I feel so happy for you! these little changes snowball into good stuff. the job and T situation sound much improved!

glitter bombs of joy!!!

Hi Jolly jo,

So nice to hear from you. I wouldn't have said that I'm making progress, because of all the trauma I've been through so far this year, but I guess if I think about it, we are working together better than we used to.

Glad things are overall going well for you. I'm glad you found a new T who is working out for you. That gives me hope that maybe I can find one as well. It's been 2 1/2 years since I left my old T, and I also stopped seeing the somatic T a couple of months ago, so I've got no one right now.

Really glad to get your update and to know how you're doing.

--Gang