Alters out without "triggers"

Dogs are a positive trigger for us, and Sev3 has to be deliberate and mindful about it lol. One time we went into a shop and there was a dog there and one of us *eyes inward* flopped down onto the floor with the dog and was petting it and air-kissing at its nose for about 30 seconds before Sev3 came to. All of her friends there were really surprised LOL. Sev3 kept petting the dog, but really toned it down.

electric crow

Zor wrote:Something someone said has me curious... Basically their statement was they believed an alter can only come out from a trigger causing them to.

We don't see to work that way- we seem to have people, a handful of us, come and go more or less at will. Is this REALLY that unusual?

This falls under the "Everyone is different," umbrella.

For some people, an outside trigger to pull out an alter or force a switch is needed.

For some, it's not.

Some alters have the strength to bust out whenever they want. While others are happy hiding inside and will only come out in extreme situations. And others may fall somewhere in the middle where they can come out whenever they want to, but maybe don't want to a lot.

There are stimuli that will make it likely that one of our alters will come out. Sometime it's a negative stimuli like the little is scared, so one of the protective ones come out and then shield the little. Sometimes it's positive stimuli like someone's favorite ice cream is in the fridge, or a particular song one likes is playing. Or our husband says, "I haven't seen x in a while, I miss her." And that one may hear it and come out to spend time with him. And sometimes, someone just feels like coming out because they got bored hanging around inside. Or, because they are each in a relationship of some sort with our husband, one who hasn't been out in a while may come out because she's lonely and craving his attention.

I truly believe that no one can say, "Well an alter only comes out when there is an external trigger," just can't be true for EVERY SINGLE BODY and EVERY SINGLE ALTER.

K

-- Fri Jun 14, 2019 12:23 pm --

Zor wrote:

exul wrote:Not unusual at all, at least for us. Some of us can't even come out when a (positive or negative) trigger is out sometimes, because they simply aren't there, or they don't manage to fully take the front.

This could be a naive or ignorant question... but aside from the obvious "negative" being something that recalls or resembles painful moments... what IS a positive trigger? and how is it different from a negative one?

So, a negative trigger, we all know what those are so there isn't a need to get into it...

But positive triggers could be... A coloring book with crayons may be left on the table, and as you walk by a little sees and it she gets excited so pops out because she wants to color.

Or, the other day, Delilah saw her favorite ice cream in the fridge (which we don't buy often because no one else really likes it and so we don't think of buying it at the store).

Or, our husband may say, "I haven't seen x in a while. I miss her and would like to see her." And then that person, feeling loved will come out to spend time with him.

Or, for example, this Saturday our husband wants to watch a movie with our little, so he'll buy her favorite candy and make popcorn and then start calling her, so she'll (I'm sure) get excited and come out.

Kiyiya mostly comes out at night when we're in bed cuddling, because until meeting our husband she never felt safe. Now, sh'ell come out, snuggle as tightly against him as she can, spend a few minutes smelling him deeply, then say, "Safe."

Essentially a positive trigger is anything good that resonates with one of your alters and causes him or her to want to fling themselves to the front in order to experience happy things that make them feel good.

K

We have both - me and Jen swap in and out at will, basically, very often unconsciously. Vivian can front whenever she wants, but doesn't use that particular power. Jacob is more scheduled, we talk to him and he has an amount of time he'll be out for. Echo is like others have said - see a positive trigger and OUT SHE COMES without warning often it's little things like my partner asking how she's doing and she'll bounce out for a cuddle. Oliver only fronts if severely triggered, to the extent that the system is shutting down for whatever reason. Lilith does her own thing, nobody knows, but has control.

But: we then have Xavier, Angel, Lily and (now) Michael. They're in a separate space and need to be coaxed to front (even though they want to, they can't 'reach' front in the way the rest of us can). Angel we access through music, she uses it to anchor in a way. Then Xavier can swap easily. Lily comes out on negative triggers only. Michael we don't know enough about yet, but that was a triggered situation where he first revealed himself so I'm guessing it'll be that.

ItsJustUs wrote:
This falls under the "Everyone is different," umbrella.

This seems to be the most prevailing rule..

So as if I needed a situational example... Today at lunch with my wife and two friends (one sort of knows, I don't think he understands... and one knows and is fully aware, but not yet comfortable with things)... and this song is playing on the TV during a commercial, and I hear someone (Pixie) singing inside... then a gap in time moments long...

And that time I missed, she was out, singing along, mildly "jamming" to the song... and realized a moment later what happened and panicked and fled, pushing me back out.

If anyone noticed, no one said a word...

Yeah- "positive" trigger example? Pixie loves that band (Panic! At the Disco) and was just having fun hearing their music... Haven't been aware of these things before... kind of crazy. At least I am starting to understand what is happening, how, and why.

Yea it works exactly like that most of times. Music is often a very strong positive trigger for alters from what we've noticed. Maybe cause it's a very immediate stimulus. Idk. Similar things happened to us too, especially with me (lol) and Xavier. We just love music what can we do. People that just know the host are so confused when "they" start singing rap songs. It's fun.

Glad it makes sense for you Zor, it's always nice when it happens!
(And me and Xavier love Panic! at the Disco too. Just as a side note . Huge trigger for us too, depending on the song me or him will probably be listening and be triggered.)

exul wrote:Yea it works exactly like that most of times. Music is often a very strong positive trigger for alters from what we've noticed. Maybe cause it's a very immediate stimulus. Idk. Similar things happened to us too, especially with me (lol) and Xavier. We just love music what can we do. People that just know the host are so confused when "they" start singing rap songs. It's fun.

Glad it makes sense for you Zor, it's always nice when it happens!
(And me and Xavier love Panic! at the Disco too. Just as a side note . Huge trigger for us too, depending on the song me or him will probably be listening and be triggered.)

Panic is... ok... IMHO... Pixie, however, loves them. LOL
I guess this sort of thing has happened before and I never realized it, made the connection, or had the communication to KNOW for sure what it was, much less why.

I have on the back of my iPod touch a quote Kaleb recommended to me - from one of his favorites. "Music is the emotional life of most people." L. Cohen (Leonard Cohen). It is true of me, several of us actually. It's an escape, an avenue of release and an emotional outlet.

I am much better at recognizing the positive triggers. Yesterday someone blew up a hot air balloon in the field behind us and sailed off. I was able for a few moments to see it as a very little child, but I was there with them for that couple seconds from like watching a movie screen perspective.

Negative triggers is where I seem to lose time and come back more exhausted.

hbodhi wrote:I am much better at recognizing the positive triggers. Yesterday someone blew up a hot air balloon in the field behind us and sailed off. I was able for a few moments to see it as a very little child, but I was there with them for that couple seconds from like watching a movie screen perspective.

Negative triggers is where I seem to lose time and come back more exhausted.

Now that I know what to look for, and am beginning to get a handle on SOME communication, maybe I'll get better at recognizing them, too. Both positive and negative.

Ohhh the music-trigger link. It's how L generally comes out. that, and some other positive/good triggers... but play garagerock, or some other stuff (haha see; it's L here because lo and behold, someone put on the music that i can't get enuff of!) why does it bring me out? it brings me out in spite of myself; i wanna experience that listening/dancing and sway!