Communicating

Hi Everyone,

Over the last couple of weeks we have gained much more awareness of alters. When they front in T office or at home with partner they are mostly Littles at this point (that I can pinpoint with their help). They do not seem to know of each other, but they all know of the "core" (don't know the terminology for everything very well) but do not see her as she is well hidden. She seems to have several protectors possibly around her at present.

A protector dialogued with me yesterday and said it is because they may each share things with each other that would be overwhelming and could be harmful. He said the thick walls protect them so they can hold the things they need to hold. I told him I was thankful for all he has done to protect everyone and asked him suggestions. As soon as I did he seemed to disappear.

This seems to me like it would be very lonely for each Little. I am not sure how I can start to make it so eventually they can be somewhat co conscious with each other. Maybe there is a step prior that would be helpful?

Also, this past week we lost consciousness for 45 mins and went for a long walk and just kind of "came to" and were lost. Are there strategies for helping with this that you guys use? We are working alot right now in therapy on grounding techniques to help with this.

Anything you want to share to help would be appreciated. I look forward to the day I feel I have more to offer in this forum when we know more. I have read many things from each of you that have been very helpful as we start to understand all this. Thanks!

we have traumatized and not-traumatized Littles playing together and they don't share stuff that would be too much. just saying, maybe your protectors assume that there will be a problem that isn't even going to happen.
are you safe in your life now? if yes, protectors could step back a little. this kind of intense protection isn't needed anymore. From what you said this might be the missing link, negotiating with protectors, to get to more connection.

we have a 'lost' checklist we follow if we come to in a new place. it includes checking for the date and time, things we carry, location&safety and possible resources we can use to get to a safe place/home. Having a checklist ready takes away the sense of crisis and confusion.
prevention is the better way to go. it means connecting inside to notice when someone feels a great need to run away/go visit aunt susie/visit a certain place/return to abusers...
so basically, you try to make it safe until you get enough connection to prevent it altogether.

Birdsong87 thank you for your response on both topics. There was some movement with the main guardian today. It was very much about some negotiating. Also, for the "lost checklist" as I am in the process of putting it together for when we need it. We also drove around with a friend and learned the area better.

good job!
we walked through most of our city to make sure we know what places look like.
for us it is easiest to stay oriented using landmarks like hills, churches and stores/restaurants.