Two New Members

Hey all,

So - Em's back, which is great! She sends her love, she's struggling a bit with settling back into real life so isn't posting much, but I'm so relieved that she's back and accounted for after over two weeks of absence. Her memory of the intervening few weeks is also non-existent which she's finding disorientating.

Also, we've come across two new members to add to our system, which is... difficult. One (Lily) is four and very traumatised, while the other (Lilith) is unknown age and the one who's been borrowing time, is very self-destructive and doing troublesome things to the body (bulimia, self-harm etc).

I guess I'm wondering how other people have coped with new alters? We've found it really destablising just to have new ones appear, let alone the state they're both in. Would really appreciate words of wisdom here...

Ta. Jen.

Sharing differences is a good start. Discovery can start very early, for example close the cabinet. Validating, speakin, apologizing, and welcoming is suggested.

Hey Jen,

Glad to hear Em's back, thats good news!

Yeah finding new folks in the system always brings a bit of chaos and confusion for us. We try to be welcoming tho, like talk with them and stuff. Especially when they're suffering and stuff.

Even if they don't talk back right away, its good to like, send them friendly vibes, ask them what you can do to help, what they need, that sort of thing.

Our T says to try to get them time-oriented in the present so they know it's not the bad times from before, but sometimes you gotta help them with what's hurting them now, first. Gotta them to see you as friends and stuff.

Good luck.

Viola

Hey guys!

Thanks for your replies, it's good to be back. We're doing our best to welcome and look after the new ones, but they don't seem to, well, want to be looked after. I'm certainly sending out good vibes, I'm just not sure if I'm doing it right! Does that make sense? I feel like I don't know what I'm doing and I'm vastly underqualified to manage two people.

I'm also a bit spooked by how many other people might be waiting in the wings, as it were. Is this always going to be a thing? Are new people likely/plausibly going to turn up when we least expect? I don't know, it's just quite stressful, and I just desperately wish I had more of an idea how this is supposed to/is likely to go

Thanks guys.
Em & system