What does she mean?

I wrote this to my T: I just have alot of anxiety in my body. I have tried my grounding techniques. I took a nap, and a shower. I read this stuff a couple of weeks ago about demons and alters and I didnt dwell on it any. Then today something triggered me to remember that stuff and I started thinking about whst if Thorne is really a demon and then I started having some harm thoughts related to my dad and Thorne maybe being a demon and I am stuck here until tommorow. Last night I had another flashback and was able to breath with that and finally fell asleep. Nothing seems to be helping this.

She wrote this back: I do not happen to believe in demons.  Until you become more confident in yourself and who you are I would suggest that you do not read such books or other similarly disturbing material.

What does the until you become more confudent in yoursel and who you are part mean?

Who you are is all the parts together, and you don't know much about all of you yet, so things that you read are influencing you more than they would if you knew yourself better.

Like, a simple example would be that I don't like coffee ice cream, but I like coffee. I'm sure about that and confident that it's ok to like one and not the other. But if I wasn't confident, and someone with a strong opinion said, "Well, EVERYONE who like coffee ALSO likes coffee ice cream. So you must actually like it and you just didn't realize it," I might start to think, well, maybe I do like coffee ice cream. Maybe I was wrong to think I didn't like it. What's wrong with me that I thought I didn't like it when no one else who drinks coffee feels that way? Maybe if I just eat more of it, I'll start to like it, and then I'll be normal. After all, they have the same flavor, right?? It's my fault if I think I don't like it. And so on.

She possibly means avoiding anything to do with the subject. I didn't watch anything "disturbing" for years. Films that were gory, had horror, demons. I didn't watch the news for years either because that could upset my psyche. Now I know who can watch what and can handle it I pretty much watch what I like. But for a long while I didn't basically because of similar things to what you're going through now.

I was more curious about the until you become confident in yourself and who you are part.

Hi,

I think it might be a good idea to ask your T. They say a lot of stuff and it can get confusing.

Iain