For littles to talk about difficult topics (Trigger Warning)

Hi Bobby,

I agree with Robin. I think the adults need to get together and make space for you. That's their job and they're not doing it. It's not your fault. You're a really really neat kid. They should be happy to have you around.

Evan & Iain

Hi Robin and Evan and Iain,

Other people in here are getting better at that, and trying to give me turns and stuff, but the husband guy just wants a grownup around, for grownup stuff, and it's like it's my fault if I'm around instead of Sasha.

He said last night that he had WAY more fun on the trip we took 5 or 6 years ago, and I was trying to remember that trip. I remember doing some snorkeling, but otherwise I had to just try NOT TO BE THERE, and a lot of us had to try to not be there, because we were all trying to be nice and let the husband guy do the stuff that he likes to do with Sasha. But it can't be her turn all the time, and it wasn't even her there for all of it, which is bad for us. Because I don't want to do that stuff!! We just thought that's what we were supposed to do, so we tried really hard.

But we can't make the right people be out just because someone else wants us to, or just to make things be how we think they're supposed to be or how someone else thinks they're supposed to be.

Thanks for being my friends.

Bobby

Okay here we are. To Nadia and anyone else.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:Puddy and MD Kids,

Do you think that you or your bigger ones can write on the thread about T's having sad things happen? I want to know what it was like, Puddy, for you to be with your T when he was sad. Did he understand you guys as well and care about YOUR feelings as much? And MD Kids, you said you would answer our question about your T being able to understand you as well when she had a sad thing happen.

Hi Evan,

Thanks for writing, and I'm glad Host let you. My T said he could see us this week, but I'm worried that he's still really sad and won't be very good at understanding us, and then we'll get upset again before we even got all the way better from the last upset.

But my T is good about telling me things are not my fault. I'm glad your old T was good at that too.

Nadia

The sad things that happened to our T were both stuff that she knew ahead of time. So she got ready for it. Which doesn't mean she wasn't sad. But she was prepared.

Another thing she says sometimes is she does what needs to be done. Which means it is still her job to help people even when other stuff happens. And also she does not see as many people as some Ts do. And she gets to pick the ones she can help the most. Which we are glad about cuz it means that she really wants to help us.

MD Kids

Thanks MD Kids. It’s kind of more complicated than that for us, because a T can still WANT to help, but not be as able to help when they’re so sad or stressed. And they might not know that they’re not being as good at helping right then. I’m glad that your T helps you a lot.

We made a thread for this because it isn’t bothering just me or just us littles.

Nadia

Yeah we saw the other thread. We wish we could help all of the Gang people more. We hope the other thread helps too.

MD Kids

Evan and Iain wrote this on the Littles thread. I hope it's ok to move it here. I started saying stuff on there, and thought it was too much hard stuff to talk about on there.

IainEtc wrote:Hi Nadia,

Sometimes Ts are sad or sick or something but they are still good people and good Ts. It's just they can't be there for us as much as usual. One time we were in a session with our old T and she said "I have to stop. I'm too sick right now." We were right in the middle of the session and really really didn't want to stop and we were kind of mad at her but she was just telling us that she couldn't keep going. She's not Wonder Woman! She still really loved us and cared A LOT about us. She cared so much she didn't want to mess up because she was too sick. She was a really really good T.

Evan (with Iain helping get the words right)

Thank you, Evan and Iain. You guys are really good friends. Thanks for trying to help me. I just think it's bad how much I forget that my T still cares unless he's actually telling me or showing me. Like when he doesn't understand something we're saying, it feels like he doesn't know us, so he doesn't really care about us. Like maybe he's just caring about some idea that's who he thinks we are, and not the real us.

Also, we were upset that he wouldn't believe something we said. Because we never forget when he says he'll be away, and he couldn't believe he didn't tell us. So it was hard to believe he still cared about us when he was saying that what we knew was true was just our "experience" and not what was real.

Nadia

Well it makes me sad when you say "nooooo moooonsters" because monsters can be nice too.
Not just the real fuzzy or scaly ones, but also humans. My daddy hurt me sometimes but he was also really sweet and he loves me soooooo much and i would be sad if he would be sad. So i think that's mean to be mean to monsters.

I would just have a really cozy prison for them where they can be and sometimes you go to visit but you do have an invisible power shield and if they can't help it but they are bad then they get a power shock! And it says: "don't do that, monster!" But we still love you.

- Robin

When I say "No Monsters," I mean that there can't be ANY monsters in any place that needs to be safe. So there's a No Monsters sign in my T's office, and there would be no monsters allowed in the No Monsters club for us littles. And the T made a No Monsters Allowed sign on a sticky in the journal where we write to him and he writes notes to us, so it keeps that safe and when we bring it home, then it keeps home safe also. That's what I mean about No Monsters.

I like your idea for a Monster Prison!

Claire (with Bobby helping)

I just need to talk about this, and then we're going to do the other stuff in our day that people want to do. I don't mean to be so sad and worried all the time, I just am, and I can't help it.

So we wrote our T a long email that we sent on Sunday afternoon (others are saying that it wasn't very long, and we've sent way longer ones with posts attached and stuff), and we said in the email that we knew he probably wouldn't write back until Monday or Tuesday, but last night, when he hadn't written back yet, I started really worrying that we wrote too much stuff, and that he wouldn't be able to handle it anymore because of his daughter dying. Like that he would change how he did things because of that or something, and just decide that we weren't allowed to email him anymore. That made me cry a lot.

He wrote back this morning, and he was really really nice. I was really sad for him over the weekend, but those big feelings are very scary and I don't know what I'm supposed to DO. So we told him about that, and he said someone being sad with and for someone else was "one of the greatest gifts we can ever give to another person" and he signed it "With deepest appreciation," which is so nice it makes me cry. And he put a gold star also because he knows I like them.

I know we worry that this T will just suddenly change partly because of that bad other T that we had who did things a certain way for a long, long, time--like called us on the phone every night, and we didn't even ASK him to do that, and then all of a sudden he told us he was going to stop that, and also changed how early in the day you had to leave a message for him to call you back, AND then the very next time we saw him, he said that he wasn't going to see us anymore. So I worry that it will happen again, even though this T is different.

Ok, I just needed to write about that. Hi to my friends on here.

Nadia

Hi Nadia,

I think you are neat just the way you are!!!

Evan