For littles to talk about difficult topics (Trigger Warning)

Hi I'm Bobby-lee I can age slide but I don't like how our body went after 13 so I stay 10-12 on the inside mostly. I can type well cos use communication aid or sign as I don't speak out loud. I am autistic.

My bigs said this page is better for me than little's page cos I read and understand more stuff than I can speak and I get frustrated.

I don't like that cos our body is grown up people treat us like a child cos host didn't get married and have real kids. i rather play video games and play with our dog so they told us we are 'not normal' and tried to locked us up, so our host had to pretend to get better to get out so most of us had to stay secret and let host pretend she was like other people that don't have 'insiders'.

We're really glad to find there are other people in the world with 'insiders' too. Do you have Holodecks inside too?

Bobby-lee

This is Veronica.

I had to be brave and come out today to talk to our T. I don't know if she knew it was me. I talked about my grandpa and being scared of his house, and this closet in his house. I don't know what happened there. All I know is that he was Bad and that I hated his house. When he died I was not upset because he was awful. T thinks he may have abused me. I know he hurt grandma and father and all my aunts and uncles.

I lisped a lot. I got scared. I kept stuttering. I was scared.

ViTheta wrote:This is Veronica.

I had to be brave and come out today to talk to our T. I don't know if she knew it was me. I talked about my grandpa and being scared of his house, and this closet in his house. I don't know what happened there. All I know is that he was Bad and that I hated his house. When he died I was not upset because he was awful. T thinks he may have abused me. I know he hurt grandma and father and all my aunts and uncles.

I lisped a lot. I got scared. I kept stuttering. I was scared.

I'm sorry you had a bad grandpa who scared you all but you sound really brave to talk about it to a stranger.

BL

Thank you NB,

I needed to talk about him. I needed to be brave.

All I remember is the closet and I don't know why it scares me so much. It was dark.

Thank you,
Veronica

We have to not see our T anymore, and it makes us really, really, really sad, and scared. And some parts are mad, too.

It's really really hard when someone says they care a lot, but the way they say things and the way they do things hurts a lot, and they're not really sorry for what they did. They're sorry that something "happened the way it did," but it had to do with choices THEY made, and things THEY assumed, and not being clear about the way things are.

It's really sad when they're the one you want to turn to when something hurts, but they're the one that hurt you, and they're sorry you're "in pain," but not sorry that they caused it.

And we're meeting a different T on Wednesday, and that's really really scary also.

But we saw a thing someone wrote about "stuckness," and that's what happened with us. We were kind of "stuck" on trying to MAKE our T be the right person for us, and he even really tried, but he can't be. The more upset we are, the more we need someone's words to be simple, short, and kind, and the more this T uses lots of big words and a frustrated tone, and that's really bad for us.

Our other T, the one for the body, said that he sounded like he was arguing with adult parts, and that when you talk to littles, it's not about who's right, it's about taking care of their hearts, and that sounds right to us. She was trying to be careful, and not say anything mean about the other T, but she didn't think it was good the way he talked to us in his texts.

Anyway, sorry if this is confusing. It helped us to write it down.

Nadia and Bobby

We're feeling SO sad tonight about our old T and missing him a LOT. We're so tempted to text him, but it won't help for him to send the emojis that say there's an invisible string connecting our hearts because we don't feel that anymore, so it doesn't MATTER if he feels it.

And he hurt us SO much, but he wouldn't say he was sorry for hurting us. Just sorry that we happened to get hurt by what he did.

We saw our other T today, the body one, after not seeing her for three weeks because of the holidays. And she was nice and put her hand on our back to help us relax and calm down. So someone inside thinks that maybe it's because we got calmed down that we're feeling all these feelings right now--like that they were there but we didn't want to feel them because they would hurt too much, but now it's safer to?

I don't know but it hurts a lot.

Loserin someone always hurts even when that person was a stinker an your old t was a stinker because he didn't care that he was hurtin you ifn he really cared he would have said sorry proper. By sayin sorry like he did he was sayin sorry not sorry.

It sucks that it hurts but you gotta go fru the hurt and the missin cause you are allowed to miss the good parts. Even stinker peoples have good parts they just have more bad parts or parts what is bad for you than good parts. An some times that's the hurterest bit , that the bad parts arnt bad bad just bad for you cause then you get trikskied into thinkin if only I was different the bad parts would be good and then we won't have to say goodbye. But that's just the hurt thinkin cause you shouldn't have to change.

Big hugs. It's really cool that the new body t helps

Thanks, Peter. You're a good friend.

It's hard to have so much hurt inside. It's like anything bad or sad that happens is connected to so many other bad or sad things that happened to us, and then we start remembering those other things.

Like tonight we started missing our Grandpa a lot and thinking about how nice and kind he was, and we haven't thought about him very much at all for a lot of years. He died, like, over 30 years ago. But tonight we've been crying and missing him, and someone very little doesn't really understand why he's not around anymore. Maybe they thought of the T a little bit like a grandpa?? I don't know.

Anyway, you're right that it always hurts to lose someone.

Isn't it better to be away from someone who hurts you so they can't hurt you more? I know it still hurts though.

I'm sorry you miss your grandpa. I miss mama a lot lately. Hope you feel bettre soon.

I want to sleep a lot lately. If I sleep, the bad man can't find me. Everyone says what happened wasn't my fault, but it doesn't feel that way.

Veronica.

Do you know about souls and spirits? When our body got sick our real mummy's spirit came back inside us to help us get strong again. She is staying with us now forever.

oh..Jay says..not everybody has the same beliefs about angels and things like that.. . sorry..

Susie (6)