I hate everything and just want to sit and hold my baby doll. We used to have real babies I could hold and take care of. Then we didn't have to do all this scary stuff out in the world where people can SEE us. When you have babies and kids, people don't really see you--they just see a mom, and you can hide and just be really good at that one thing. And we have a job where you can hide also, because people just see a role and don't care so much who you really are or what you look like or anything. I got to hide for a really long time.
I don't care if it's good things or bad things that people notice about us--I hate all of it. I don't want anyone to see us at all. (Someone is asking me, what about the T? I don't mind if he sees me--but that doesn't really count because it's NOT out in the world. It's just in his office or writing back to me.)
It's really not fair that we're doing all these things I hate. I know they love it and didn't get a chance to do it before and they LIKE being seen and looking good and being good at stuff while people are watching. I wish I was part of someone ELSE who didn't like doing that and was happy just, like, working at a daycare or a preschool. They said we could do that a little, or
something where we get to be with babies and little kids, but that won't help me the
rest of the time.
We're going to see the T tomorrow and Friday, and they said I can bring my baby doll to show him, even if some of them don't like that idea. And they've all been nice to me and letting me watch Kimba and stuff, but that doesn't change having to do all the scary stuff.
Nadia