Skin Colour Blindness

Yesterday one of my alters was close while watching tv. There was a man of colour on it and a white man. They were of similar height, build, both bald, both slight beards, wearing similar clothes. For the duration of the programme, I couldn't tell them apart. I thought they had changed clothing, I actually said to my Mum, she said I got confused. She knows that I have DID, she didn't pass much remarks on my comment.

Last night I was I drifting off to sleep, this alter starting talking to me. They said they cannot see skin colour. This is not just skin colour of those outside, but also those inside who have different skin colourings.

I am just curious if anyone else experiences this?

- Purple Haze

Hi Purple Haze, this makes sense to us. Several times we've needed to describe a person to somebody but we leave out the ethnicity or skin tone. If asked, I can't recall what their ethnicity or skin color is even though I can generally picture their face. I've guessed (or remembered?) wrong a couple times so I usually leave it out. The memory is based on whether they have a "nice face" or a "mean face" so the focus is on their expression and their eyes.

This makes sense to me given my childhood and a large number of abusers -- family and others enlisted by the father. Whether someone might be a danger or not swamped other details. I happen to be white and was raised in an overwhelmingly white small American town. As a system we've always felt much more safe and "at home" among non-majority groups than among a bunch of white folks.

Both my parents had DID and their hosts taught me consistently to avoid taking ethnicity into account in assessing people and that may factor into all of this. The underlying assumption was something like "bigoted people are uneducated people who don't know any better but we do."

My adopted son is caucasian and has multiple alters who are black and Asian. He thinks this was in part a reaction to the obnoxious bigotry of both his original parents.

Thank you Johnny-Jack

I have since talked to a friend who knows I have DID about this and they thought it was cool. In a way I suppose it is.

It is good to know that others experience similar

- Purple Haze