Not sure if I have DID

I liked to joke around with my friends about having DID and how fantastic it was to be able to switch. Little did I know, I might really have it without realizing. Not that it's a bad thing, because I actually enjoy having friends to talk to in my head, even if they were imaginary.

I'd like to see a psychologist/therapist to find out if I really have it. Does anyone know of a good place where I can search for one? And how would I know if a therapist is actually experienced in dissociation disorders? I've been hesitating to seeing a therapist because I fear they may not be understanding, nice, or even knowledgeable in this matter.

Any advice is appreciated!

If it's all fun, it's not a disorder. Why'd you wanna change it? Therapy is for people with problems. Out of six possible continents, I'm sorry, we are not gonna start guessing where you live in to find you a T.

If you want to be taken seriously, write something that can be.

To me you sound imaginary.

Sami

If you are serious, ISSTD.org has a tool to search out therapists who have experience treating DID and trauma. Or if you're in the UK, check out PODS, their website has something for helping find a T in the UK.

V2

I'm going to break this down for you you little $#%^. To me it sounds like you don't have it and I don't like saying that. To me it sounds like you're being a cruel little ###$, who watched Split and thinks they know everything.

I liked to joke around with my friends about having DID

Why would you do that. Why the actual ###$, would you joke around about having a disorder. I don't care if you and your friends thought it was "funny" that's just a #######5 thing to do.

how fantastic it was to be able to switch

Switching is not ######6 fun. The body has headaches all the ######6 time, sometimes we even collapse. Switching for us changes. As in, sometimes we just space off or sometimes other ######6 things happen. It's not fun. Nor when you suddenly come out and it's like what the ###$ is going on, where the ###$ I am. That might change per system, since we have a viewing room that allows us to see out and to some extent if we strain we can see wherever we are. Basically if you aren't in the viewing room and you get whoosed the ###$ to the front, it's going to be confusing.
It is not fun.
And back before where J knew about us we'd have to ######6 PRETEND TO BE HER. Even now depending on the situation but I don't ###$ with that anymore.

Not that it's a bad thing

We try not to view it as a "bad thing" because that's just ######6 depressing. We have this and we're learning to live not just ######6 survive.
Developing DID? That's caused from a BAD THING.

I actually enjoy having friends to talk to in my head

In our system you can only be heard by being in the viewing room or if something drastic happens like Noelette screaming. When I'm out and I hear ######6 Musica yabbing on then some of the littles playing around it gives me a ######6 headache. It's hard to track one conversation from the other. AND GOD FORBID YOU GO OUT TO DINNER
"I want chips"
"I want nachos"
"I want a burger"
Yadda Yadda Yadda

even if they were imaginary.

Don't you ######6 dare. Don't you ######6 come onto this forum and say "ew they're imaginary" no you little #####&. I am ######6 real. I'm not saying one doesn't go through ######6 doubt, J always has those moments and days where she goes "It has to be fake, they have to be imaginary" but you seem to be saying it like a joke, not as an actual stress and pain that people go through eating themselves alive, thinking that they're faking or analyzing everything or trying to find a way for it not to be real.

nd how would I know if a therapist is actually experienced in dissociation disorders? I've been hesitating to seeing a therapist because I fear they may not be understanding, nice, or even knowledgeable in this matter.

I believe there's a database somewhere. Many PTSD specialists (your GP should know some) will have a basic understanding at the very least in DID.

If you said this as a joke you can go ###$ yourself

Nadia

I agree that it's not a "fun disorder" and there's nothing cool or nice about it. This sounds like a troll post if anything. However, if you think you have DID, it might be more beneficial to start with a GP if you have those in your country, or any therapist/psychiatrist you can reach and get referrals to a specialised therapist. Changing therapists are hard but for us it has been beneficial.

Sorry guys, it wasn't my intention to sound like I was making fun of DID. When I posted this I was very anxious and panicking. Not sure why I wrote "joking about DID", my best guess is I was probably trying to lighten the mood for myself.

The reason why I think I might have DID is because sometimes I feel like I may be "switching"--I would behave very differently, say and do things I normally wouldn't do, but most of the time (like 99.9% of the time) I am still aware of everything around me. For example I am normally very calm, and don't say things I'm not supposed to talk about. But there will be times when my body gets aggressive towards my mind and insists on talking about something with other people, while I know I'm not supposed to say anything and I am yelling at myself in my head not to say it. I feel like there's another personality in me that I am not really aware of, but sometimes I also feel like I am imagining all this.

I am biologically a female, about 25% of the time I feel like a female and behave in a feminine way; 25% of the time I feel like I am a male, and that feeling drives my behaviors towards a more masculine way; 50% of the time I feel there's I feel gender neutral. I really don't know how to convey this but this is probably the best I can do. I don't know if this has anything to do with DID but I'm just gonna throw it out there anyways.

As for where I live, I must first apologize for not clarifying this in my original post. I live in Texas, USA. And thank y'all so much for your suggestions!

-- Tue Mar 26, 2019 11:31 am --

KawaiiKitty wrote:I'm going to break this down for you you little $#%^. To me it sounds like you don't have it and I don't like saying that. To me it sounds like you're being a cruel little ###$, who watched Split and thinks they know everything.

I liked to joke around with my friends about having DID

Why would you do that. Why the actual ###$, would you joke around about having a disorder. I don't care if you and your friends thought it was "funny" that's just a #######5 thing to do.

how fantastic it was to be able to switch

Switching is not ######6 fun. The body has headaches all the ######6 time, sometimes we even collapse. Switching for us changes. As in, sometimes we just space off or sometimes other ######6 things happen. It's not fun. Nor when you suddenly come out and it's like what the ###$ is going on, where the ###$ I am. That might change per system, since we have a viewing room that allows us to see out and to some extent if we strain we can see wherever we are. Basically if you aren't in the viewing room and you get whoosed the ###$ to the front, it's going to be confusing.
It is not fun.
And back before where J knew about us we'd have to ######6 PRETEND TO BE HER. Even now depending on the situation but I don't ###$ with that anymore.

Not that it's a bad thing

We try not to view it as a "bad thing" because that's just ######6 depressing. We have this and we're learning to live not just ######6 survive.
Developing DID? That's caused from a BAD THING.

I actually enjoy having friends to talk to in my head

In our system you can only be heard by being in the viewing room or if something drastic happens like Noelette screaming. When I'm out and I hear ######6 Musica yabbing on then some of the littles playing around it gives me a ######6 headache. It's hard to track one conversation from the other. AND GOD FORBID YOU GO OUT TO DINNER
"I want chips"
"I want nachos"
"I want a burger"
Yadda Yadda Yadda

even if they were imaginary.

Don't you ######6 dare. Don't you ######6 come onto this forum and say "ew they're imaginary" no you little #####&. I am ######6 real. I'm not saying one doesn't go through ######6 doubt, J always has those moments and days where she goes "It has to be fake, they have to be imaginary" but you seem to be saying it like a joke, not as an actual stress and pain that people go through eating themselves alive, thinking that they're faking or analyzing everything or trying to find a way for it not to be real.

nd how would I know if a therapist is actually experienced in dissociation disorders? I've been hesitating to seeing a therapist because I fear they may not be understanding, nice, or even knowledgeable in this matter.

I believe there's a database somewhere. Many PTSD specialists (your GP should know some) will have a basic understanding at the very least in DID.

If you said this as a joke you can go ###$ yourself

Nadia

Hello KawaiiKitty,

I am sorry that my post offended you. I am, however, serious in every way. My original post did not contain anything about my reasoning for why I think I have DID and I do apologize for that. I wasn't ready to talk about it, and the whole story would also require a lot of trigger warnings. I picked out some stuff that does not require trigger warnings and posted that in a reply to this thread. Please feel free to give me some pointers.

VioletFlux wrote:If you are serious, ISSTD.org has a tool to search out therapists who have experience treating DID and trauma. Or if you're in the UK, check out PODS, their website has something for helping find a T in the UK.

V2

Hello V2,

Thank you so much for that information. I was able to find a few therapists in my area using that website. Just a minor correction, the website is actually isst-d.org. Isstd.org without that dash took me to a website for gestational trophoblastic diseases

-- Tue Mar 26, 2019 11:48 am --

vix wrote:I agree that it's not a "fun disorder" and there's nothing cool or nice about it. This sounds like a troll post if anything. However, if you think you have DID, it might be more beneficial to start with a GP if you have those in your country, or any therapist/psychiatrist you can reach and get referrals to a specialised therapist. Changing therapists are hard but for us it has been beneficial.

Hi Vix,

Thank you so much for the info. Going to the GP is probably the most practical way for me because none of the therapists I found on isst-d.org will take my insurance, at least according to that website. I have been wanting to see a psychologist but I also need to keep it under budget Hopefully my GP can refer me to a therapist that'll take my insurance.

I get what you are saying even if it kind of seemed to come off in a dismissive way. before I knew I always described other people inside me as a "joke". i would say, "y'all don't know. i have a little Tony Montana inside me that isn't putting up with this $#%^."

what have you done to test your hypothesis? I think you are at the data collection stage. get a spiral notebook. write in it every day, twice a day, for one month. then review your data. voice and video samples could also be recorded and reviewed.