Dealing with a medium/large-sized system?

Back in the day when I thought it was just six of us in here, it was a lot easier to keep track of everything and everyone. Everything was neat and organized, we could give everybody the time to pursue the activities they wanted to pursue, etc. But over the past two years, the system's grown, and we now number in the 20s-30s. Possibly more; I haven't exactly been brave enough to go poking around in my childhood, lol.

The thing is, I've found it's way more difficult to give everybody the time they want/the attention they want in a system this large. I have no idea how to track everyone. We did have a journal for a while but literally only myself and my co-host would write in it with any regularity. Nobody else would write in it, so it honestly felt less like a system endeavor and more like those group projects you'd get back in high school, the ones where you'd do like 90% of the work for four-five people? That.

There's so much stuff everyone wants to do and they all want to do it at once. It'd be great if we all had different bodies; we could each pursue our own careers and hobbies and stuff, but apparently, life is cruel and awful and we can't have nice things, lol.

I guess I'm part-ranting, part-asking for advice. I have no idea how to handle a bigger system, even though I'm the host. I have no idea how to collect data, how to communicate, or how to give everyone individualized attention; it was all so much easier when I thought it was just myself + five others. If anybody's got advice, especially anything to keep us from getting overwhelmed, don't hesitate to comment.

I'm sorry if this post isnt really cohesive or well-written; we've kind of had a rough day, and I was exhausted just typing this up, lol.

We have the same problem, and we empathize. It's tiring just being.

We wish we had an answer.

MDs

We have a really large system. So we understand what you are talking about. There are some that have completely different wants than me. So we know the struggle of sharing the same body.

Does any of them have similar interests? Like for example...video games. If so....maybe they could play together...or something.

Maybe you could make a schedule....if possible...to plan certain activities that they like. If they have some shared interests.....I feel it would be much easier to achieve this.

If you want to find out more about their likes....you could do a survey. I wrote a bunch of questions down before....and asked my main protector (Weirdo) to ask if the others would answer them. Not all of them answered....but for the ones that did. A lot of the answers were interesting. So maybe that would help you?

I hope things improve for all of you soon. Good luck....and best wishes!

I don't know how large our whole system is, so I'm not talking from experience. It just came to my mind, that you called yourself host personality, so you are the main one dealing with outside life. Maybe you don't have to be the leader of the system inside. Dealing both of them alone is way too much. Do you have someone suitable for the job, to be an inside manager.

I appreciate this topic . I’m not sure how to define medium /large but I feel I have many. I know I have many.
The thought has been overwhelming at times and has contributed to my denial -it seemed impossible to learn about everyone and communicate. Going slow slow slow .

Other than that I have no idea but in the past I just tried to shut them down when “ too different “ from me. Not really understanding DID. Thought it was parts but didn’t get it , not really . I am working on not feeling frightened or intimidated and increasing willingness to be open .

We have what I suppose would be classed as this. Purple Haze is the Host, the main one up front. Inside one of the Protectors keeps others in line, so to speak. I mean in the sense, that they deal with any issues or problems that arise inside.

Ponyta wrote:[...]

If you want to find out more about their likes....you could do a survey. I wrote a bunch of questions down before....and asked my main protector (Weirdo) to ask if the others would answer them. Not all of them answered....but for the ones that did. A lot of the answers were interesting. So maybe that would help you?

I hope things improve for all of you soon. Good luck....and best wishes!

I like this idea, this is something that we might use. I too, am finding this threat interesting.

- Autumn J

Thank you everyone, for your responses! They've given us some new ideas that we'll try and implement, and hopefully it'll make everything a little easier on us.

I want to write more on everything so far discussed here, but right now I'm having difficulties getting the words straight, lol. So I think I'll wait a little while and think it over, and then I'll post something here about it all.

Take your time. There is no rush. Sometimes it's hard to get how you feel into words, sometimes it's hard to find the right words. Sometimes when you think that you're not making sense, you are. It's quite confusing at times!

- Purple Haze

We keep a long document with notes about everyone that we fill in as we get them. We record anything unique or important about each of us, like age, what traumas or events they experienced, special details that help us work with them like "very shy." We keep a shortened version of this, printed, and update it whenever something changes. The text is a few phrases each, as linked in my signature, just enough to remind me who we all are.

We carry this with us so we can't forgot anyone and can reach out when we have time. We might find ourself in a safe, quiet place with pretty flowers and we'd ask someone specific from the list if they want to come out and smell them.

Our system depends on names to identify everyone so for those of us who didn't have their own, the alters encourage them to pick one. If too young, someone gives them a name.

We also have a system map that we refer to, just a more graphic version of our lists that's able to show relationships and groupings. I now have 3x4 feet poster of it and hanging on my bedroom wall to keep everyone in mind and not forgotten.