Living with DID and not living with it

I posted a few days ago about not being on the forum much for a few months...and we started to look into it a little more ourselves.

We kind of realised that we can find it hard to 'admit' we have DID. Ok, that's not quite it...but its something like that.

We all work together to do all the organising, planning, talking, note-making and so on...and are getting quite good at it. And we now have our own personal projects and hobbies, as well as 'communal tasks' that we do for everyone. We are a System with 11 co-hosts, so we only each get a day every week or two...so communication and planning are so vital!

So we do all this...

But I guess we push another side of DID away...but its hard to say exactly what it is. But we know its not too good for us longer term.

I guess maybe its seeing that DID has an impact, and is hard, and is a disability.

It's also perhaps taking on board that we are different, and do have a life that is different to others.

Hmm...I'm not too sure about what it is...

Do any of you guys have any thoughts or ideas? Or relate?

Thanks guys.


Hyydii - One in the Albion System

Hello Hyydii,

It sounds like you all are working really well together, and you've got a lot of cooperation and communication going on? That's kind of like our ideal or goal, what we're working towards.

I'm not really sure that I understand, but it seems like you're saying, the side of DID that you're missing, is the 'disorder' part? Or the negative stuff? Or that you're just ignoring that side of it?

We think about this every now and then. We're all positive we don't want to merge or fuse or integrate or whatever, we want to stay our separate selves. And being multiple or plural is not itself a disorder or disability or whatever. If you're all able to cooperate and work together then there's nothing 'wrong' with it.

For us, the 'disorder' part comes from the flashbacks, the amnesia, and the attachment issues. And some issues with the body being old and stuff. If we can 'fix' those issues without losing any of our different selves, that would be ideal.

Sorry if I've misunderstood.

Arin

yes this resonates for me because I accept my day to day reality of being a dissociative survivor. but I block out the what I survived part.

but you know. I'm not going to beat myself up about it because when I'm ready I'll be ready to deal. and I'm just not ready now.

realizing that there are more me's in here and we all have to share and work together and raise the kid. that's enough to handle.

so I deal with the everyday now parts of it. but I'm still ignoring the roots.

anyway. that's me. we don't even all write in the book. there's a whole $#%^ load that are still in the donts and they just use the clipboard. i mean all in all. ###$ this $#%^. it's hard.

Thanks for your replies guys, its nice to hear your thoughts and experiences.

I think we tend to push away the difficulties, and I think we each plan and measure our lives as if we were 'singletons'. We do all share, but I think we're still getting our heads around the complexities of life...

We can easily forget the 'challenge' part I think, or wish it wasn't there. We can easily not ground ourselves in our full reality. I think coming on here and checking in with you guys is a part of that grounding.

Thanks again guys


Lucy - One in the Albion System