DID Diagnosis

Hey all. We saw my therapist today. We mentioned to her that our friend who has DID thinks we have it. We have never spoken/asked her nor anyone about DID, but she already had a handout ready for us about "The Split Self" and DID. Pretty weird for her already to be thinking about that. We've already read it and it's definitely talking about us. It talked about PTSD a lot too which we were Dx with a long time ago. It was really helpful. Here are a few things that we read and was like, "Ahhhaahh!"

Do we?
* We do things, but don't remember how they happened like not remembering how we got somewhere.
* We "flip" into differently emotional states and our moods change very quickly and intensely.
* There are different sides of me that seem like different people. (Like "the young one," "the big one," "the weak one," "the angry one."
* We feel opposite extremes in relationships like feeling totally positive about someone one minute and then totally negative about them the next minute.
* Frequently have mixed feelings about important life decisions like whether to stay in therapy, get a job, etc.

Other notes:
The "split self" refers to different sides of the self that can occur in both PTSD and substance abuse as well. Becoming aware of these sides can help in having a successful recovery.
--- One part may want to use substances, but another doesn't. Referred to as "Jeckle and Hyde."
--- Some PTSD examples may include parts feeling like "a little child" who needs protection, "a fighter" who bullies, "a teenager" who wants to have fun without worrying about tomorrow, and "a healthly one" who wants to work hard on recovery.

Splitting happens for a very good reason because it's a psychological defense where the internal world has different states of consciousness that emerge at different times. The mind needs defenses when it's being attacked by devastating life experiences. These are normal and necessary for survival. This doesn't me we are crazy. Even normal people have splits to some degree.

If splits exist it means there was a psychological need earlier in life to reject some part of yourself.
IE: If we were drunk and got in a deadly car accident, we may feel guilt that we cannot face at that time. The guilt can pop up at different times in life like in bad dream or flashbacks.
IE: Splits can occur in early childhood if family rejected certain parts of us. If it wasn't safe for expressing anger, the anger may have split off. However, the split doesn't go away. It stays hidden and emerges at times that may surprise you. We often find that we become ashamed of the part of s that have split off.

The sides that get rejected are typically those that want to use substances. (You may feel bad for having cravings) that get angry (you feel you should always be "nice"). or that feel vulnerable (you feel you should always be "strong").

None of this is our fault. It all happens unconsciously, without awareness. (If you were aware of it, it wouldn't be split!!!!)

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Hope this may help someone.

Us.

Thank you for sharing, thank you so much.

Some of my alters did not understand why we are like this. Myself and other alters tried to explain to them, but they didn't understand. Now they do.

Autumn J is really excellent at explaining how we are to other alters. They have read what you have said, and have informed those alters who didn't understand.

We always knew we weren't crazy, but we also knew that we weren't like other people.

So thank you again, from myself and all of us.

- Purple Haze

Well done!

esuzie1115 wrote:"a teenager" who wants to have fun without worrying about tomorrow

Aaaagh! I think your posting that single phrase just helped clarify a huge chunk of our life problems. Like seriously. It's not like we didn't already basically know but seeing it put that way, simply, in those words, as a general observation of what you might find in a DID system...very helpful. Maybe it's that there's no judgment, of course some teenagers are like that. Thank you!

As a reader on this board, you never know when something will click and you'll learn something important. As a poster, you never know when something you say will lead to discovery for someone else.

Thank you so much for sharing!

We're so glad that this has been helpful. We were hoping so. It has really helped us too. Sometimes, it's just good to hear that something's not all in our heads, nor our faults.

Us

We're so glad that this has been helpful. We were hoping so. It has really helped us too. Sometimes, it's just good to hear that something's not all in our heads, nor our faults.

Us