who should 'front'?

For us, it depends on the situation. Whether it is the Host, myself, or another alter. Everyone who knows my Host, has at some stage met myself or other alters. They just do not know it - they think it is just a part of the Host. This is something that was done automatically, it was agreed by all of us. Though, it can cause confusion for the Host. For example, if myself or another alter is active - normally my Host is not aware. So when we talk to someone and learn information, sometimes it is not shared with my Host. Which of course means that when my Host is next active and talking to that person, they have no idea what they're talking about! To disguise this fact, for those who are not aware of us, my Host says their memory is bad! That it is worse than useless - and it works. People who know my Host know and accept that their memory is bad, they have no issue with repeating or going over something.

Though it does depend on you and your situation.

- Autumn J

We have been thinking of ways to close the gap between the level of disability. Telling family we''ve got bad leg/knee pain as recovering from a sciatica attacks/arthritis flare up would work.(as we then can't weight bear on that knee for long enough to walk with crutches)

I guess we could use pain as an excuse for being less animated for those expecting us to be more so, but it will make the whole thing less enjoyable especially for Kit if she feels she can't be herself and just relax and enjoy the experience.

In the meantime I think we'll have to come up with a plan to ensure seperate events or make it known how much we hate surprises or have something else in mind the next time we see family before the event.

Everyone knows that Purple Haze hates surprises. That would be their worst nightmare.

Maybe you could discuss this with one of the Protectors? Or the main Protector? They should be able to help. I hope you manage to get his resolved. I know we went through a similar experience when we first appeared.

What you said about pain - yes that could work. If you start introducing that then people will come to expect it from you. Then they won't be surprised when it is mentioned that you have pain. That is a good idea. Also I am sorry to hear that you suffer from pain

- Autumn J

That's ok, we seem to get it in intense patches like an attack of sciatica will suddenly come on and for the first week we're in agony (or rather I - Sioux am, Kit rarely appears unless the body is in a fit enough state to do the activity she wants). The second week is usually less painful then the body gets more or less back to where it was and Kit comes back.

Winter tends to be painful as the freezing weather makes the joints swell but we've had some relief with it being so mild this last week which is probably what's helped the sciatica recover too as the inflammation would have gone down quicker (without additional inflammation from an arthritis flare up).

We do seem to feel less fragmented if we have something else to focus on, probably the reason Kit likes to get lost in the video games, and we're trying to make sure we have enough to survive if Brexit is bad, if snow comes at the same time (last year we had bad snow end of March/beginning of April causing food delivery delays to local small shops) and at some point this year we're gonna get hit with the changeover to UC (Universal Credit) and face at least 2 months with no money but full rent to find (plus other bills!) while they sort that out and we lose about £250 a month, so are trying to get any more expensive equipment/furniture we need before that too.

Personally when we're having the attacks there's not much difference in our physical disability levels than Maddies and I think some of the problem for Kit is her mind seems to be trapped in the past and she seems to think she's still much younger and blames 'Maddie' for damaging the body beyond repair so we can no longer go hiking, ride bikes normally etc.

Problem is due to co-ordination difficulties the body has always had to some extent, none of us have ever mastered driving! .. so Kit would have to deal with going on public transport to get anywhere which is just as much of a barrier to getting anywhere due to her intense phobia's and sensory issues!
Sometimes it feels like we're constantly locked in battle and life is exhausting just getting through the day!!

KitMcDaydream wrote: [...] Kit would have to deal with going on public transport to get anywhere which is just as much of a barrier to getting anywhere due to her intense phobia's and sensory issues!
Sometimes it feels like we're constantly locked in battle and life is exhausting just getting through the day!!

Have you considered listening to music? Finding a type of music that has a frequency that calms Kit? Even if it is just listened to in one ear - it helps. Well it helps Purple Haze - and I was thinking it might help in your situation.

- Autumn J