System is worried I might disappear

I dunno if this might be an odd thing or whatever.

Now that Arin has grown up and 'joined the team' she wants to be more active, she wants to be a photographer, so she's already got like more plans and ambition than I've ever had lol.

But there's a worry though, that with her 'here' it's gonna mean I might vanish. Like, after Viola got active, older Violet disappeared. Tho that wasn't like overnight, and V1 had a bunch of other stuff going on like anxiety and stuff.

Still tho, it seems like our system has a thing where there's only two 'bigs' active at a time. Me & Viola. V1 & me. Stephanie & S2.

My thoughts on it are... kind of detatched. Like, it doesn't scare me but it makes me a bit sad, the thought of not being here. I know that if I don't exist I won't be sad or lonely or upset. You can't get triggered if you don't exist lol. But there's stuff I like. I don't want to go away but I'm not scared of it.

There is sadness and fear though from others. Melissa especially, is really sad at the thought I might vanish. And Arin is sad and afraid cos she'd blame herself. Like if I went away and she took my place, she'd feel like it was her fault and she doesn't want that.

I know it's like super early to be thinking of this stuff. Not even a week since she grew up and all. But still, it feels like it's a good idea I teach her all the work stuff that V1 taught me, so she can take over just in case.

Any other systems have something liek that? Like, the system only 'supporting' a limited number of active alters / fronting alters?

V2

we have had parts added to the core team that manages daily life and it shifted roles slightly, but nobody disappeared.

the human mind is weird. it likes stories. When we have incomplete information we somehow fill the gasps to make it sound logical, to make it a story. you are currently telling yourself a story about your future. based on limited facts on what happened with Violet. But you are not even sure if that is the same situation or what else might have had an influence.
The stories we tell ourselves are not harmful in themself, but they can cause us to feel very intense emotions. absolutely needless suffering, stress and worry, because it isn't based on anything real. All that is not actually happening.
So if you feel like you are getting very sad and mourn your own death or something, you might want to stop telling yourself that story. that is pretty dramatic but also all in your head. until it is not.

Thanks birdsong,

Yeah that makes good sense. And we have like, one datapoint basically with a lot of other factors so it's impossible to actually predict what's really gonna happen.

It's just as likely that things will be a little bumpy for a week or two and then we'll settle into a new routine again with Arin and Viola and me all sharing time.

Thank you for the rational outside viewpoint.

You've been really super helpful for us with some freakouts the past couple days actually and we really, really appreciate it.

V2