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by Zor » Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:07 pm
So like this morning Zor woke at like 5am with a super vivid and vicious nightmare about what happened when we were super little... it's been a like crazy hard 3 hours, so I just took over cuz he's got like stuff planned today, but I'm kinda concerned like ME being here will be it's own problem...
when I said "super hard morning"- like spontaneously crying, disoriented, in shock, and on the verge of puking at times...
Any advice for me? Cuz I am sooooo new to this like everyone knowing kinda stuff... In the past Zor has never known what happened to us, to the body, when we were little... you know to like "make us us"...
I would have put this in the protector thread but it's like buried and I couldn't find it. 
Sorry if I shouldn't have made this its own post.
{\Pixie/}
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by Amythyst » Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:17 pm
Hi Pixie,
I don't have any really specific advice. Just like, do what you can to keep him calm, try some grounding excercises to get him back in the present, remind him it's the here and now and he's safe and all.
When this stuff happens to one of us, sometimes that one needs time off. So you might have to cover for him for a while till he's recovered.
Hopefully the more experienced folks will chime in too with better advice.
Good luck.
V2
Ciara(10f); Em(22f); Teg(6f); Vanessa(13f); Viola(17f); et multa magis
DID, general anxiety; previously depression, bipolar. • (New) Journey Thread
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by SystemFlo » Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:29 pm
Can you have the passive influence thing on him? Do that and he can do grounding stuff.
Sami
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by birdsong87 » Sat Jan 26, 2019 2:32 pm
a few ideas:
- have Zor look around for orientation or describe your safe home around you. create a sense of safety by orienting in time and space and body.
- support him at using a containment exercise for the memory that came up.
- let him spend time in his safe place or invite him to share some light, grounding activity in the present
- use positive stimulation, nice smells are the fastest, but you can also put on music you love
- invite Zor to "go into" a hand with his awareness and then hold the hand in a supportive or protective way so he can feel you are there.
- share a breathing exercise to calm down
try some of that and if it doesn't work come back and tell us what is happening.
Dx: DID cPTSD
host ; Asti (host 2); and others
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by Zor » Sun Jan 27, 2019 10:45 pm
birdsong87 wrote:a few ideas:
- support him at using a containment exercise for the memory that came up.
What is a "containment exercise"?!
So far our T has focused on like communication and keeps thinking we're part of Zor and we haven't gotten into "coping skills" (trying to read up on that on our own some)...
These are all HUGE help suggestions, thank you!
{\Pixie/}
(Body - Male, 39)
Zor - primary host & main poster
The rest of us: {\Pixie/}, Kaitie-Lynn (aka "Kitten"), Kaleb, Angel, Katya, Satin, Charles, Chloe, Noah, and a few rarely seen
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Zor
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by SOHank » Mon Jan 28, 2019 2:51 am
I'm sorry. I know how hard the nightmares were for Sunflower seeing it from the outside, I can only imagine seeing it from the inside... It is a challenging time.
Is there anything that brings him comfort? SF has a particular item from her childhood that helps.
Can the wife help? There were also many times SF would wake up panicking and I would say "It's "Hank".", tell her she was okay, tell her she was protected, and make sure she felt my beard (perp was clean shaven). That would usually move things from panic attack to just very anxious...
There were also times when Meg had to take over. We could go from hyperventalating panic with SF to Meg who nonchalantly explained what happened in like 3 seconds...
Married to SunflowerGals
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by birdsong87 » Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:33 am
containment is an imagery exercise where you imagine a container of your choice. then you imagine the thoughts, pictures, sensations etc that are difficult like they are on a dvd or in a picture frame or whatever seems to fit, put that into the container and close it securely.
many people use a safe for that. but you could use anything that you can imagine shutting really well.
it sounds weird, but it helps our mind to remove things from our working-mind for a while.
you can find more here
https://www.dis-sos.com/containment/this is usually the second exercise trauma Ts teach their patients.
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by Zor » Mon Jan 28, 2019 3:31 pm
birdsong87 wrote:containment is an imagery exercise where you imagine a container of your choice. then you imagine the thoughts, pictures, sensations etc that are difficult like they are on a dvd or in a picture frame or whatever seems to fit, put that into the container and close it securely.
many people use a safe for that. but you could use anything that you can imagine shutting really well.
it sounds weird, but it helps our mind to remove things from our working-mind for a while.
you can find more here
https://www.dis-sos.com/containment/this is usually the second exercise trauma Ts teach their patients.
Thanks, I'll make sure we like both check it out! 
{\Pixie/}
(Body - Male, 39)
Zor - primary host & main poster
The rest of us: {\Pixie/}, Kaitie-Lynn (aka "Kitten"), Kaleb, Angel, Katya, Satin, Charles, Chloe, Noah, and a few rarely seen
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Zor
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by Windsoar » Tue Jan 29, 2019 4:20 am
We are kinda new too. Well, new to being in charge. One who is usually in charge is, our T calls it overwhelmed. So he needs time to sleep & do things to just take care like take vitamins, exercise, eat healthy food, sit quietly.
T said we can make list in morning of things that should be done. Then decide who is best to do it. If nobody can, we say no, not today & cancel.
Been 3 days now. He's better. We're not feeling so sick & tired. Thinking better. He will let me know when he's better enough to retake control.
Until then I can say no & help him get better.
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by Zor » Wed Jan 30, 2019 5:50 pm
birdsong87 wrote:containment is an imagery exercise where you imagine a container of your choice. then you imagine the thoughts, pictures, sensations etc that are difficult like they are on a dvd or in a picture frame or whatever seems to fit, put that into the container and close it securely.
many people use a safe for that. but you could use anything that you can imagine shutting really well.
it sounds weird, but it helps our mind to remove things from our working-mind for a while.
you can find more here
https://www.dis-sos.com/containment/this is usually the second exercise trauma Ts teach their patients.
That is like super interesting. So gonna work on trying this. Thanks for sharing it.
{\Pixie/}
(Body - Male, 39)
Zor - primary host & main poster
The rest of us: {\Pixie/}, Kaitie-Lynn (aka "Kitten"), Kaleb, Angel, Katya, Satin, Charles, Chloe, Noah, and a few rarely seen
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Zor
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