Switching Without Stressors?

So I seem to have times where it just happens... where I realize I've missed 15, 30, 45 mins... or more than an hour. Sometimes it's when I'm home alone. Sometimes it's when family or friends are around and nothing is "dangerous" or "stressful"... it's so.... chaotic.

Is this a normal sort of thing? As much as any of this is "normal" I suppose... Is it b/c we're still trying to figure out how to handle knowing each other exist and co-existing? It just scares me so much b/c the more I'm around people, even in a safe environment, the more risk of exposure there is- and some ppl that know are aware but don't know the full scale and scope of it, and some have seen others come out and b/c of how it was handled... it was seriously uncomfortable...

I guess it's mostly scary that there is that risk of exposure, rejection, and all the negative scary things that come with that... The more time I am around other people, even loved ones (maybe especially them)... the more chances there is for exposure... The others try and cover, but someone generally notices something unusual or "off"...

Any tips for de-stressing or whatever... ?

Yeah we get that. Doesn't have to be something stressful or dangerous. Sometimes someone just wants to do something, or needs a few minutes. Sometimes something positive brings them out too. Like they see something that interests them or whatever.

We don't get it where we have lost time so often any more. I think. But it does still happen. Maybe short ones happen a lot, it's easy to lose a few minutes here and there. Losing an hour or two is easier to notice, and we don't notice that much. Maybe once or twice a month? Once a week tops probably.

I can't really say anything though about dealing with the scariness of it. We pretty much just accept it and let it happen. V1 used to get all worked up about that sort of thing, people noticing and stuff. She ended up disappearing inside though, we figure because her anxiety got too bad for her to cope.

Now we just worry about stuff like flashbacks and big emotions, stuff like that. But switching and losing time, isn't as big a deal now. That might also be because we're all really young, the ones who front most. And no host in our system to worry about all that stuff. Probably our biggest fear is dealing with regular life stuff, not DID stuff.

Viola

we're trying to communicate better so we can prepare for stuff and switch a little more smoothly, or at least with some kind of warning, but it's hard. sometimes others wanna be out but subtly, so you don't notice it until later, or you don't notice at all. sometimes it's completely unintentional and involuntary, especially with triggers and trauma-related things. sometimes it's intentional but not on your part, mostly to protect you (lain did this with me last night because i was close to relapsing, and the other night with jones for a similar reason). we've managed to get a little better with asking - i.e. "hey, i'd like some time out right now" - and handing over to each other, but it isn't always that easy and/or smooth a process.

- alice

are there signs that someone else was fronting? or are you just kind of zoning out, like extreme day-dreaming and then missing parts of a conversation?

birdsong87 wrote:are there signs that someone else was fronting? or are you just kind of zoning out, like extreme day-dreaming and then missing parts of a conversation?

mostly I am doing something with others and realize I don't know what is going on exactly or what's being talked about... if I am alone, I have a habit of watching the clock (since I've had this "missing time" thing for a long, long time) and realizing "hey, it's suddenly a lot later and feels like just a few moments passed"... Generally there's nothing too telling (like changed clothing, in a different place, doing something different- though ALL of those have happened and do once in a while), especially if company is around (though I tend to, apparently, make an "exit" and disappear a little bit once in a while I'm told).