Extremely strong feeling of Fear

Trigger warning
Scary stuff mentioned

Not sure what is going on.....I believe one of my personalities is trying to horrify me lately.

I originally thought my fear was due to my scary dreams/nightmares....possibly played a part in it.....but I'm not 100% sure. Well I've been feeling scared to be around any windows at night time. Well in my scary dreams, windows aren't safe. Normally some terrifying creature busts through them. So yeah that probably played a major role in making me scared.....but I haven't had dreams like that (regarding windows) for quite some time now. Plus I wasn't as scared to be around the windows at nighttime for a while......well now I am terrified again. I have no clue why.

Plus I mentioned in my journey thread that I heard someone knocking on my window last night. I know for a fact that it wasn't the wind due to the tapping rhythm. That horrified me. It happened at 2 windows. The one was on the 2nd floor. There is no way someone could've been knocking on that window. Well that seriously scared me. Not sure why I got so scared....but my heart was pounding and I was all shaky. Felt as if something from a horror movie was going to bust in and get me at any second. Plus I was too scared to look out the window....I had a feeling that something with glowing red eyes was going to be staring through the window at me.

I have no clue what is wrong with me....but this is seriously scary. It's not really a fear of the dark though because I'm perfectly fine if all the lights inside the house would be off. It's just I am horrified of something lurking outside the windows at nighttime. I know the fear is irrational....but still it is there.

Any ideas on what might be wrong with me? I don't think it is one of the littles who is scared.....but I could be wrong. It feels almost as if it is my own fear. I really think one of the insiders are trying to horrify me.

I know they can project scary feelings to terrify me.....Nightcrawler did it before (that is before we became friends). I know it isn't him this time though. We're good friends and he wouldn't horrify me like that. I can rule out all of my other inner friends too. So that leaves the troublemakers. I have no clue which one though.

ruling out the possibility of hallucinations...
(although we had those before and it's nothing to be ashamed of)

the main options are that it is some kind of flashbacky experience of a part carrying trauma memory. maybe too young to put it into more logical ideas than a monster waiting for them.
or that it is a part trying to scare you for a purpose. like maybe trying to chase you from a path of exploration you have taken with the system.
(if you have a MC background there are more options though)

if it is more of the first it might help to ask all parts to look thru the eyes with you as you check the property and make sure to point out that it is 2019 and nothing bad is happening.
if it is more of the second it might help to speak out loud, saying "Ok, I noticed it. and I am super scared. well done. you can stop now." and then try to ask what it is you should stay away from/do to avoid getting this thrown at you and negotiate options.

Sunflower has a couple specific insiders that control a couple specific emotions. One of the emotions is fear. M. is very nervous when she is out, afraid of most everything.

It could be that you have one like that that is trying to get to know you or get some comfort.

birdsong87 wrote:ruling out the possibility of hallucinations...
(although we had those before and it's nothing to be ashamed of)

the main options are that it is some kind of flashbacky experience of a part carrying trauma memory. maybe too young to put it into more logical ideas than a monster waiting for them.
or that it is a part trying to scare you for a purpose. like maybe trying to chase you from a path of exploration you have taken with the system.
(if you have a MC background there are more options though)

if it is more of the first it might help to ask all parts to look thru the eyes with you as you check the property and make sure to point out that it is 2019 and nothing bad is happening.
if it is more of the second it might help to speak out loud, saying "Ok, I noticed it. and I am super scared. well done. you can stop now." and then try to ask what it is you should stay away from/do to avoid getting this thrown at you and negotiate options.

Thank you so much for your response!

Sorry I'm not sure what you mean by MC Background. (not sure what MC stands for. I'm still not 100% familiar with all of the terms yet. Unless it stands for mental condition.....if so I have Asperger's syndrome as one thing.)

It's possible that it could be some kind of flashback thing....but I'm not sure what or why it would be presenting itself that way. Unless the nightmares messed us up more than I thought.

I do think it is more of the second option though. I didn't mention it on this post, but maybe it is connected (maybe the same insider), but one of them have been at times trying to scare me in the mirror. So I do think someone is messing with me.....I have no clue why though. I'll try using your wording though....hopefully I'll be able to get some answers from them that way.

Thanks again!

SOHank wrote:Sunflower has a couple specific insiders that control a couple specific emotions. One of the emotions is fear. M. is very nervous when she is out, afraid of most everything.

It could be that you have one like that that is trying to get to know you or get some comfort.

Thank you for your response!

It could be what you said too. I don't know for sure. I do think that one of them are deliberately scaring me.....but maybe I'm wrong. I do know that there is one who holds extreme sadness. I found out recently. So it could be possible.

MC stands for trauma-based mind control
it is pretty dark stuff, so be careful if you want to look into it.
good luck finding out why you are getting scared. it doesn't have to be for sinister reasons.

birdsong87 wrote:MC stands for trauma-based mind control
it is pretty dark stuff, so be careful if you want to look into it.
good luck finding out why you are getting scared. it doesn't have to be for sinister reasons.

Thank you!