Sometimes I say stuff here I find hard to fathom

Just now I wrote a little about an internal narcissist that was deconstructed.

Ok, I can say it simply like that but I can't comprehend it. The twins did it.

I can say the twins made a "Jane" a internal memory bank but I can't comprehend it. How did they "memory dump" stuff?

They have Sue, a cartoon secretary they created, to speak for them. If someone upsets us they use Sue to communicate to that person - that I can kind of understand because that's like an alter taking over only slightly different. But how have they created internally a cartoon character that responds so quickly, I know when it's them directly or when they just use a "Sue" response because I can feel their presence or if it's just Sue it's kind of robotic but more fun and friendly because she's a cartoon.

Their answer is they're geniuses and they don't care to put their genius into the world because the world is too backwards. They choose to help all of us (in this body) live a fulfilling life.

We call BS on that but they give examples like when we took a Chemistry degree because we thought being a pharmaceutical sales rep would be a good job. Beth is reasonably smart. They challenged the PHD teacher so much he had to concede that he didn't know the answer to that question and whether or not their theory was right and that they could explore it and prove it incorrect themselves. Then they forced a nervous breakdown, put us in hospital and convinced us Chemistry was a waste of time and being a pharma rep is glorified drug dealing. Which they make a good argument and we are enjoying life so to be fair they do a good job.

They insist we use "I" instead of we. They insist we're all in this together.

What I (all of us) am actually terrified of is that at somepoint they'll think they've done enough and "leave" or die. Which is stupid, possibly, I don't know because possibly they're stuck with us till the body dies ie we die as a whole but possibly not because I wouldn't put anything past them.

At starting to type this they were laughing saying we're stuck here same as you but then I got upset and started crying because I can imagine they could "leave" or die so they showed me themselves cutting their wrists and still being alive and saying you can't kill a part of the psyche. Which to be fair was a tiny bit humorous that I thought they can leave because possibly it's a bit silly to think that. And they promised if they get really bored they're write a book for real. That's their limit, writing a fiction. They don't want to get involved in science or anything important. They like us enjoying life and how straightforward we all are.

I was just posting to ask all of you here or to get some kind of feed back but then I got upset and it became internal I guess. Sorry.

So my basics of my post is that I don't understand how the twins do stuff and that is frightening.

Anyone have anything similar at all?

As a side note it's Karen saying this. Patrick says if its not broken don't fix it and only worry if it happens that they leave. Peter says it's kind of like art but he's painting so he would say that. Beth and Rose are also slightly concerned they might just take off on a spaceship or something equally ridiculous and extreme, go visit hell, the twins say odd stuff when they don't want to engage. But Karen, me, I'm worried that if they found a way to kill themselves off internally ie not kill the body they might. They're not depressed or anything and they're saying they have investments ie I have children to raise and that they wouldn't fully trust that to us bunch of degenerates even if they could escape - which actually kind of makes me feel better.

But i still wonder if anyone else has this fear of people leaving the system or not knowing how something is constructed or destructor internally.

They say it's brain science but I think they're just making that up. Or not I don't know. I vaguely remember reading brain stuff and looking at brain scans but again that's really "out there"

Now I'm worried I'm making myself look crazy. Anyway have a great day guys here and great lives. Lots of love Karen

Hi Karen,

You're not crazy. Sometimes keeping up with this stuff makes us FEEL crazy. Some Littles used to worry that the rest of us would leave them behind when we got better. They finally figured out we're not but it took a while. Mostly this stuff is about trust and that's just HARD! Too many bad experiences. We've done stupid stuff (really stupid) but we've always been trying to save ourselves. We try to remember that.

Hope it gets better soon.

Iain