Positivity Thread

Two of my wife's littles played the Dr. Suess matching game with me at the same time. Lou and Dafny. When I flipped my cards, I would make sure they both saw what they were before flipping them back over.

Later Emma taught Dafny how to play a computer game that she liked, then Emma played a while Dafne watched.

Very exciting to see them interacting as they've all be very separate and wary of talking to each other before.

Although pretty much all of us think our body is way too old to be actually ours, there's plenty of good things that come with being around 40. We could have outside children in any age group, little ones, tweens, teens or young adults, even grandchildren, so even when I don't care too much what other people think about certain stuff, it's great that they don't probably think anything. (If they ever did.)

I remember being a teen, living in a small town and library workers knew me (probably because of my dog that was always with me everywhere and stayed right next to me without ever needing a leash), and my family members.. and I wanted to have story books with pictures on them and was so ashamed they'll know they are for me.

Now I can get clothes from teen boys section for myself or get anything I want from library and no-one will know who it is for.

I don't actually know how old people usually assume I am when they see me. There's always people who assume I'm way younger than I am, but not all of them. Teens or people on their 20s don't see me as someone from their age group, but people who are 40->elderly, sometimes seem to think I am young adult. Also at work one co-worker who's 5 years younger than I, thought I was younger than her. It depends a lot how we dress and do I use make up or not, and our weight. I appeared lot older when I was bit over weight and didn't take care of myself. Now, with clothes Lucas chose and energy to take care of myself some people seem to assume I'm way younger I am. It makes us feel happy about appearing more like we are, although it takes away the benefits of being able to have kids any age.. But in big city no one knows to whom am I buying stuff anyway.

We've had some good cooperation stuff going on this week. I posted a longer bit on our journey thread cos I couldn't find this thread, but Muninn linked me to here. (thanks Muninn!)

So short version from today, Arin was doing computer stuff and got in over her head & super frustrated, cos computers aren't her thing, they're mine. So she finally asked for help, like with emotions instead of words? It was a super smooth switch, I took over, and got the work done and everything sorted out.

The other thing was, last week before T, I had some time to kill and was walking around near the T's office, and I spotted a used camera shop. Arin wants to sell/get rid of some of our old camera collection, so I made a mental note.

Yesterday V2 had time to kill before T, and she remembered about that shop and went in there and talked to a guy, got the information for Arin, and then last night Arin spent an hour going through the collection to pick out which ones she wants to get rid of.

It was kinda neat, like we do forget a lot of stuff sometimes, but having me see the place, a week later v2 remembered & went to talk to them, and then Arin knew about it & started sorting stuff to get rid of. Gives us some warm fuzzy feelings, being all cooperative and stuff.

It's almost like we're a normal functioning person. Sometimes. lol.

Viola

I just wanted to say I love and appreciate everyone in the system, and I'm so glad I apparently managed to gain some trust from Serpent who let me spend some time with the child. She didn't particularly respond to me being there but she also didn't react badly and let me sit beside her, which felt amazing after not knowing where she was for so long. I also appreciate all of our protectors and I'm so happy that we're a big family that takes care of each and every one of us. If it weren't for this big family we wouldn't have been achieving what we achieved and continue to do so.

I also want to specifically thank whoever took us to shower and changed our bedsheets yesterday lol it's always so hard for me to do those things so I'm grateful.

Nice idea, positivity thread. These posts are inspiring. The most fulfilling joy I've probably ever known is being able to be a positive influence in my adopted son's life, to watch him heal day by day, sometimes moment to moment, to become the person he always had the potential to be but couldn't without a safe, supportive environment, without someone who believed in him. And we do, even before we met him in person.

We both have DID and all of his littles, middles, adults, males and females can front and be welcomed, loved and accepted for who they are, just as they are. It's not quite the same the other way around because, well, I'm the parent and he's not. He just can't re-parent us. But most of my alters feel welcome, safe, appreciated and loved by all of him.

We all seem to be healing vicariously just from witnessing how happy and safe his alters, especially his youngest, are able to feel. We witness our role in this and it confirms that we are not bad like the parents, nor unable to love normally, which I guess has always been a fear that some of us held.

There have many ups and downs, many setbacks, some crashes, but we've gone from triggering the heck out of each other the first year or two to avoiding triggers or getting over them faster and faster. What's left is the healthy, delightfully mundane atmosphere that families should provide but our original ones couldn't. I think we've both learned to attach, safely and securely, to another person.

That's really great to read, Johnny-Jack.

I think my littles got a lot out of experiencing me raise my outside kids. Without being aware of my littles, I could still feel that it was helping me to spend so much time holding the outside kids, reading to them, digging in the sand with them. I couldn't really understand that dual feeling of being the mom and one of the kids at the same time, but I just went with it as much as possible. I agree that even without being truly re-parented by someone else, there's still a lot of healing that can happen.

I think there is a healing magic in parenting. it has definately given my life purpose. that's actually why I stopped by. because I wanted to remember that there is a big positive to my recent bout with illness. my priorities have completed shifted and I am much, much closer to my daughter now.

The last couple weeks have been rough due to influences from "The Man". (Insider)

The positive new is that he is actually talking to SF's T now and will talk to me though email. He is considering cooperation, or at least ceasing antagonizing. He is also wants a name and has thought of a few and asked for suggestions.

Very very very very very good news!

today I did something by myself that was difficult but I achieved it.

I went to my daughter's elementary school graduation ceremony. I used my handicap sticker to park. and used my rolly walker to get to the gymnasium. there were no seats but I asked for help and sat in my walker. I did have to use the bathroom, because the ceremony was long and i cant hold my bladder. but survived that too.

I felt really independent and successful doing this on my own.

I'm going to take a nap now.

this gave me a lot of hope that I might be able to lead a functioning and independent life again.

this experience....of my body being a cage I can't escape. and my world shrinking in on me. has been really hard on the little bees. but we all feel some hope now.

I won't ever get back to normal. but I can find a new normal. my walker worked really really well today. and I did it all mostly by myself. I even asked staff for help when I needed it and everyone was really nice. even TAFKAR was on good behavior.

Good for you, BeccaBee. Congrats to your daughter. When she looks back on this, we're sure she'll be glad that even with all of your challenges, you came to participate in her special day.

MDs