Positivity Thread

I appreciate that this is a forum where we can share our problems and frustration and all the confusion that can come up with DID-symptoms. I think it is very important to have place where it is okay to vent and find some nice words and people who understand you, or just hear you.

But sometimes I miss a place where we also can share nice things that happen.

That's why I start this thread, where we try to write down positive stuff we we experience. Any one else is also very invited to share and spread positivity.

To make a start:

This evening I had a conversation with our best chat-friend. She knows about our multiplicity and she is always incredible supportive, but didn't now much details so far, apart of 3 of us who once said hello with their individual names.
Today we talked a bit more about us and she then described the characteristics of several parts, which she encountered in the chat so far and the descriptions where so spot on. I really was astonished that we actually are different even if we write. I always thought that we appear quite similar to other people

She also also recognized me without me having to tell my name and that was such a good feeling to have someone who actually "sees" me.

I just had to share this with someone who maybe can understand how good that feels

i've been told by some of the others that they really appreciate moments like that, where someone picks up on their mannerisms or body language and knows they're there. i'm really glad you had such a nice thing happen!

i like the idea of a positivity thread. something nice that happened to us recently was my partner flying over to see us (me and my partner are in a long distance relationship). my partner also deals with multiplicity, so we all spent christmas with each other without having to pretend to be the host/body name and it was really nice. normally we'd spend it with our respective families and it'd be awful, so it meant a lot to spend the holidays like that.

- alice

I was just thinking about making a thread like this, but didn’t feel like it was my place. I’m glad you did!

A few things from the past weekend.

1. Several in the system made a cherry pie in a collaboration. B. was happy stuff that had been sitting in the pantry was being used up. Raina wanted to bake. Lou wanted to decorate the top crust. And the littles and middles were excited about pie!
2. They worked on a coloring sheet together. O.V. requested the marker order, while 4-6 others took turns coloring different parts of the sheet. (Lou only wanted to color pink while A.J. took greens.
I helped to. I was orange.)
3. AJ is super excited her window cactus is growing!
4. D. talked to me!!! She has talked to their T, but never to me. Only texts to me until now.
5. Raina has now will use Meg's voice to talk directly to me instead of sign or writing!

i had a power/electricity problem. it looked like an issue with the main line coming in so I called the power company to check their equipment. i was right that it was the main line coming in but wrong about who owned the broken part. turned out I did - it was a bad lug on the meter housing.

power company shut me off until I had a licensed electrician repair and call engineering to verify. not a good feeling at 2pm when jack frost is coming to town for a week. but kids dad is a tradesmen and he got it fixed just like waving a magic wand. all I had to do was say thank you. he came out with an electrician from the job site. that electrician knew another one who he thought had just the part I needed. that fella was at the house an hour later. and after another hour I had power again.

it was really cool actually. and maybe to help teach me a lesson about not being too proud and stubborn.

I was gonna post about something positive, but then I got scared that if I did that, it'd be jynxed and we'd lose it.

So instead I'm gonna say: I love all our headmates and want all of them to be happy and that's our goal, for all of us to find happiness in whatever ways each of us want.

V2

Today is the third day in a row that we made a list of what everyone wants to get done during the day. We start with the younger ones and ask each one what they want to do, and then try to get to everyone. It's hard to let them answer and not override it with grownup things, but we put those at the end of the list, so those get heard also. It helps everyone feel taken care of, and when we finish someone's list we mark it with asterisks.

Thanks for all your shared positive experiences

Our system seems to have this pattern of intensify everything that is bad over days but then with one big bang there suddenly happen several insights and relieves at one time.

Last night was such a moment I learned stuff about more hidden parts and I learned also a lot about me. I realized that I made huge progress since last august when I did wrote the first time in my journal.

I felt so useless and terrible back then. There were many lines in the journal which stated that I do not know why I even exist. And my self-esteem was terribly low.
But I realized that it is actually me, who did handle most of our day job in the last few month (and we still have the job!) and I am getting better and better at communicating with other parts and trying to translate and mediate between us. I think it is good that I exist

We had our first system wide vote and it went great! I learned so much from everyone like how we aren’t trans lmao! Yay!

Last night Sunflower was working on a crossword puzzle. A.J. likes it when we do them together and Raina has wanted to do one with me as well, so I joined in. I couldn’t tell who all was involved, but several. One of the clues was “bovine to a child”, so A.J. and I got Lou involved to give moomoo. It ended up being moocow, but she got to participate! Later I pointed out one that the answer was jellyb****. SF said that Lou and Emma both shouted Jellybeans at the same time! Raina pointed out the ones she got too. That’s when I broke down and asked how many were involved. “I don’t know. Several. If I could just put my mind on speaker mode.” LOL

In other news, D. smiled!!! After seeing Lou play, D. also wants to play the Dr. Suess matching card game sometime when she works up the courage.

We are getting results with the body.

I had a physical condition, that made me really tired all the time. Last winter ( 2017-2018) I gained some weight because of how much less I was doing anything physical. If I ran 200 meters, I was already totally out of breath. And as I stopped moving, all the muscles "died" as well, and I started to be really stiff. I couldn't sit on the floor with my back straight, because it already felt like stretch in the legs etc. That wasn't because of the condition, it was just lack of exercise, and the lack of exercise was because of the condition. It didn't bother me too much, but when any of the boys came to the body, they felt it, because they are so different from me physically.

Now the physical condition behind the tiredness and getting out of breath is cured. After I started to be OK, I still got out of breath too easily, was too stiff and had the weight, because it had been so long since exercising last time. My boys are all somewhat athletic, and my arms and legs feel very short to them too, because they all are taller. I can't change my height, but I can change my body weight, do some stretching and get in better shape.

Now I'm fitting to my European size 36 clothes again. (That's UK size 8, US size 6, letter size S.) That sized shirts fit perfectly on the body, but are bit too tight on the arms. That was exactly what we've been trying to do, to get the belly away and have some muscles in the upper body. All my boys have some muscles in their arms. Now I can sit with better posture again. Fourteen is still sleeping as far as I know, but if he some day wants to start to come out again, he will find his way to the body better, because it doesn't feel so different from his, that he can't sit like he would otherwise.

I don't like exercising myself at all. It's been Lucas doing the work. He comes to the body with me, and he likes the feeling of muscles doing work. He doesn't like it the wrong way, it's not anyway self destructive he likes the pain, he likes it because then you know it affects the right places.

Now he would really badly want heavier dumbbells. I can't argue with him. It does feel good to think that when we started, we did 30 times certain kind of lifts. Now we do 150 of them to get the same feeling. I'm not gonna train crazy big muscles, just enough that you can see them.

Life feels way better now that we are back in business and able to do things normally again. Changing sheets felt like exercising before, because I was so out of shape. At least there is no physical reason that stops us from doing things anymore. That AND the fact there is much more sunlight during the days makes me feel energetic. From physical point of view I could work full hours now. Our mind is still not there, or even near, but this was about being positive.