Request for advice, system struggling.

Our system is struggling today and while I don't believe there would be any intentional self harm or other damage, I am worried something unintentional could result.

The body is overtired and Viola is unable to manage the negative emotions. Anger is emerging and causing havoc. Almost everyone else has gone into hiding because of Anger's outbursts.

I am concerned that under Anger's influence, Viola will say or do something that we will all regret later. There have already been some questionable decisions and actions, which is why I am here now.

I am not sure know how long I can stay in control with things being as they are. Viola wants to be here as this is 'her time' and Anger is especially strong right now and even I am having trouble keeping it under control.

The body is stressed because of lack of sleep, and a significant change in our diet at the start of this week.

The suggestions I get from inside on how to manage the situation (eg. alcohol, drugs, comfort foods, etc), are not in line with our current goals. It might seem that more sleep is the obvious solution, but it is almost impossible to achieve while Anger is active.

If anyone has a suggestion, some short-term solution on how to defuse the situation, I would appreciate the advice.

Rebecca

Aromatherapy?
We use essential oils a lot when emotions are in flux, it helps quite a bit. Citrus (we especially like Lime for uplifting) helps us as does lavender.

We're sorry you are feeling this way. We hope you can get rest soon!

Delilah suggests a hot bubble bath using candles in the bathroom instead if the overhead light, with a glass of red wine to take the edge off (or without the wine if you're currently completely avoiding alcohol). Then after the bath, thick warm socks and a cup of herbal tea.

Britney

How about exercise or other strenuous physical activity. Exert the emotions out, then rest.

Thank you Britney and SOHank for your responses.

When I wrote the original post, we had just returned from a 3.7km walk. Unfortunately it is -13 degrees here (-22 degrees including wind chill) and it was ill-advised of Viola to take us out walking in that weather.

Delilah's bubble bath suggestion sounds promising, we may opt for that. Currently I am having some 'fancy' tea, which is perhaps analogous to aromatherapy.

Reviewing our logs, I believe this turmoil began shortly after a change to our diet, on January 6th. I am exploring that possibility, though we are reluctant to abandon the diet protocol as it is required for the body's overall health.

Rebecca

Breathing in the pattern of a short in-breath followed by a longer, slower out-breath releases the vagus nerve from being in a fight-or-flight state and might help with regulation. (This is part of the Polyvagal Theory as developed by Dr. Stephen Porges)

Would it be possible to ease into your diet from your previous one at all? Like, if you used to have coffee and now can't have it, to only drink half as much for the first week.

We have had some luck directly talking to our parts that have had, or seemed like they were, overwhelming anger, to find out what they need and who they are, but it has been a gradual process and wouldn't likely resolve today's situation today. It might still be worth sending those kinds of messages to Anger for future resolution.

Wishing you best luck.

-Sev

Hi Rebecca,

We're sorry that your system is struggling.

We have chronic sleep issues, so we know the importance of sleep and rest, even though we're not yet good at maintaining a routine. Since your system is overtired, perhaps you could make sleep a priority? Then address the food issue after that?

Not sure if this helps. Please feel free to disregard anything that doesn't work for your system. Good luck.

MDs

Thank you Sev and MDs for your responses.

I have received advice on changes to our diet; it appears Violet had set the caloric target too low and our macronutrients are imbalanced. Apparently this can lead to mood swings in some people. I am making corrections on that front.

Once Anger is no longer an immediate threat, we will attempt to get some rest.

Rebecca

Maybe some strong music with like hardcore driving music and emotionally charged lyrics? Something to relate to, do pour yourself into, and just vent through...

I have a band I love that has several "darker" toned rock songs with deeply emotional and painful lyrics that I love to tune into when I'm (any of us) are super emotional and we're struggling to contain it.

One of my favorites is "Drain" and another is "Art of Life" (the latter being 30 mins and having rock, speed rock/metal, classical, then chaos before going to classical, and back to the rock stuff to end it- all about "the art of life" being the pain, suffering, walling off, and breaking down things to FEEL and live).

Drain is about draining feelings and emotions "I want to drain, my feelings out; let me drain, my feelings out"
Drain
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP3ZIUSELt0

Art of Life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eqmkgSeYjI

Thank you Zor for your reply.

I am concerned that emotionally charged music may have the opposite effect on our system, and give Anger additional energy. That has been our experience in the past.

However, some classical music may in fact help overall, I will look into this.

Rebecca

VioletFlux wrote:Thank you Zor for your reply.

I am concerned that emotionally charged music may have the opposite effect on our system, and give Anger additional energy. That has been our experience in the past.

However, some classical music may in fact help overall, I will look into this.

Rebecca

so they have like EPIC love ballads, too... I don't care for the like rock stuff, but LOVE their ballads, like "Tears", "Endless Rain" and "Forever Love".

{\Pixie/}