from the therapists tool box

Just a small tool our T used the other week...
we were struggling with feelings of guilt, thinking that somehow we must have at least some responsibility for how things went at home.
The T asked us to explore the unspoken rules in our home as a team.
Allowing the others to share the unspoken rules they felt was an instant answer why we could not have behaved differently and that it truly was survival behavior, not something we partially liked doing.
its a really small exercise but it got rid of the guilty feelings really effectively.