Help for a frustrated part

We have a part who's speaking skills are extremely limited. And she's getting frustrated about it.

It's difficult to explain, but I'll try.

She's very intelligent. She's very observant. She understands everything that is going on, she is by no means mentally limited in any way. But, she is limited in the words she can say. She's getting frustrated at her limited ability to communicate and broke down crying last night out of frustration.

For instance, instead of "I love you," she just says "Love."
In stead of "I love you a lot," or "I love you so much," it's "Love. Love big."
And she's always saying, "Words hard." To convey that she wants to say more, but can't.

I don't know how to help her. She had a panic attack last night, but when it was over, couldn't express to anyone WHY. Not even us on the inside.
When she's frustrated and tells our husband, "Words hard." He tells her, "You do just fine. I always know what you mean." She rolls her eyes and huffs.

It's not too bad inside, usually, because she can often flash pictures at us, or push her emotions out. Her frustration comes with trying to express herself externally when she's fronting.

Any one else experience this? Or have advice?

K

That must be frustrating.

CL found speaking difficult as well. Still does, but she has improved a lot. Just took practice.

Raina speaks in sign language or writing only. Maybe something to try. ??

Maybe a picture book could help. Like a Dr. Suess picture dictionary. Not as an insult to intelligence, but to correlate pictures with words.

SOHank wrote:That must be frustrating.

CL found speaking difficult as well. Still does, but she has improved a lot. Just took practice.

Raina speaks in sign language or writing only. Maybe something to try. ??

Maybe a picture book could help. Like a Dr. Suess picture dictionary. Not as an insult to intelligence, but to correlate pictures with words.

We know a little sign language, but it's very limited. Took a Sign 1 class last semester, and I've already "lost" a lot of it.

I don't know if LW knows how to write or spell. Maybe we can work with her on that.
And I like the idea of a picture dictionary.

Thank you, Hank.
K

We all experience selective mutism when stressed so we understand how frustrating it can be to not be able to say what you mean. If she is able to write it can help tremendously it does for us, we will send messages to people we need to talk to and have an app called emergency chat if we need to speak to a stranger.

Why is it hard for her? Is it that her vocabulary is limited? A picture dictionary if she can't read if she can any kind of book and a normal dictionary can help to expand her vocabulary. If it's selective mutism like us it's more like the words get stuck inside and you can't get them out and is usually triggered by stress.

NyxX wrote:We all experience selective mutism when stressed so we understand how frustrating it can be to not be able to say what you mean. If she is able to write it can help tremendously it does for us, we will send messages to people we need to talk to and have an app called emergency chat if we need to speak to a stranger.

Why is it hard for her? Is it that her vocabulary is limited? A picture dictionary if she can't read if she can any kind of book and a normal dictionary can help to expand her vocabulary. If it's selective mutism like us it's more like the words get stuck inside and you can't get them out and is usually triggered by stress.

It almost feels like she knows the word but can't get it out.
For example: Sometime it feels like when she wants to say the name of an item she'll picture it, but can't figure out how to say the word.. so like if she wanted an Apple, she may picture an apple in her head, then try to figure out how to make the right sounds. Even though she KNOWS it's called an Apple, she can't make the words... Like, I could could say, "Do you want an Apple?" She'd picture what an Apple is, and then tell me yes or no.

I honestly don't know if she can read or not.

Selective Mutism... I like that term, because it seems to fit.

K

It's meant to be a childhood anxiety social phobia thing but seriously we have had it our whole life and it sucks because as soon as you start struggling to get the words out people start treating you like a 5 year old and that just makes it worse because the more we try to talk the harder it becomes until we lose our voice completely.

The emergency chat app Nyx mentioned is really helpful for us when we're overwhelmed. Worth having a look maybe?

NyxX wrote:It's meant to be a childhood anxiety social phobia thing but seriously we have had it our whole life and it sucks because as soon as you start struggling to get the words out people start treating you like a 5 year old and that just makes it worse because the more we try to talk the harder it becomes until we lose our voice completely.

Yeah. People suck sometimes.

This part will only front when we are with our husband, and very very rarely when my kiddos are around. We had two uninterrupted weeks with my husband, and for over half of that my children were with their bio father. The combination meant that She decided to front more than what she does, because she was enjoying the time. I think that's what spurred the frustration. IN the past, she's only been out for a few minutes here and there. As a result, she only needed minimal communication skills because she only communicated important things since she had such a short time of being active. Being out for longer stretches and more frequently, made her want to communicate more, and that's where the frustration comes in. She even spoke to my husband on the phone last night, which she's NEVER done... EVER.

I just don't know why why she's mostly mute, even though she's trying so hard to be heard. *sigh*
I've been scouring the internet to try to find something useful... and explanation? A suggestion? But everything just points back to selective mutism. And all that literature all says the same thing, it's a childhood thing, and these kids were selectively mute in social situations but talkative, normal children at home.

K

-- Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:12 pm --

Skaya wrote:The emergency chat app Nyx mentioned is really helpful for us when we're overwhelmed. Worth having a look maybe?

Yes, I'm going to look into that, and see if it's something Kiyiya (a.k.a. Little Wolf) can use. I just hate that she's feeling like this. *sigh*

K