Seeking validation

It seems like some of us are seeking validation and.have fantasies that are normal . some ofg us are worried that seeking validity makes us weak. However I find that what I'm doing is healthy and normal and it's actually helping those of us who've been invalidated feel valid but I guess some of us are worried that we're doing it in the wrong way.... when I feel like we're doing it in the right way.


is it wrong to seek validation within yourself or at least feel like it's okay to do what you want to do in your own body/mind?

Sorry if this question is all over the place . Sometimes I have a hard time putting what I'm feeling into words

Validation is healthy, real and positive, for everyone!

We found out that it is a part of any healthy interaction, and in functional relationships it happens naturally. Its really hard to learn, and to become comfortable with it...but it really can be done!

I'm not sure what you are wanting validation for...but whatever it is, go you!


Pastella - One in the Albion System

Validation has been a net positive in Sunflower’s system. Yet, conflict is also common. Some are resistant to change even though the change leads to healing. The mentality of, “It’s worked fine this way for this long, why change now.”

When you are validating one, if someone feels it is being done wrong, acknowledge you have heard and considered their concern as well. Ask them why they feel that way. If they are adamant, try asking about trying your way of validation on a “trial basis” or compromise somewhere in the middle.

When Lou started coming out, AJ was angry at me because her understanding was that the only way to keep Lou safe was to keep her locked up. Over time AJ realized the situation had changed, they were protected, I cared, and that Lou was happy for the first time in decades. Lou and AJ were initially in conflict over the right way to go, but after trying it realized that it was better not to hide anymore.

WeAreOne420 wrote:It seems like some of us are seeking validation and.have fantasies that are normal . some ofg us are worried that seeking validity makes us weak. However I find that what I'm doing is healthy and normal and it's actually helping those of us who've been invalidated feel valid but I guess some of us are worried that we're doing it in the wrong way.... when I feel like we're doing it in the right way.


is it wrong to seek validation within yourself or at least feel like it's okay to do what you want to do in your own body/mind?

Sorry if this question is all over the place . Sometimes I have a hard time putting what I'm feeling into words

I think this is a normal thing, most of us need a sense of validation that affirms us on some level. It could be a general an abundance of false affirmation that drives the neediness of the younger generations- desperate for attention with "challenges" (often self-destructive), and posting everything in their lives online for "likes" and "follows"- ways to get the affirmation the shallow and vapid praises of everything and everyone that society heaps on people can't possibly provide.

Maybe some of us seek that here sometimes, but that's ok... IMHO, better to seek it in a healthy and understanding way, with ppl that WILL understand, than destructively or in a senseless or worse meaningless empty way of doing it.